Courtesy of Micah Watkins and his new wipsy beard...
So, is this a long blog yes it is, but thats because it was a Bloody hard slog of a game. Well I arrived with Ketch nice and early 14.30pm parked up and wondered what this cold wet afternoon had in store for the lads this day. The opposition were also keen to play, they were also pretty early standing around living up to their names telling each other Jokes and generally joking around waiting for the Alliance to arrive.
As the Alliance lads arrived, I knew as I wasnt playing today, my job would be to take care of the smaller Alliance future i.e. Master Henry who was fast asleep and totally out cold. Looked like a good place to be, wrapped up in dad's coat and a blanky. Coyley walked across the pitch with a small grin on his face, oh crap I knew this would happen, the ref was late and they needed a stand in, and so be it. I walked on the pitch, black coat, baseball cap, ready to take control of this match. Keepers ready, Contenders ready, 321 I blew the whistle.
Paul taking early command of the team, the ball started bouncing back and forth and finally ended up at Ketch's feet his first touch for months but before he could do anything one of the Jokers took his feet out from under him. Do I blow for a foul or do I play the advantage, let us have the advantage, forgive me Ketch. The ball bounced towards Gibsy who knocked the ball over the top, play the advantage I said to myself. Medge took hold of the ball and took off, followed by Ian and the Alliance massive surely Medge could convert this, go on son give it a dig was the call from me, oh ahhh yes I am supposed to be impartial at the moment sorry but the advantage played was to no avail straight at the keepers chest, never mind son next time.
We then stopped for a minute, at last the ref was here, 35mintues late,Ohhh Heeellooo, its a woman. Fair enough, I handed over control to her, all the while thinking to myself you forgot to set your clock didnt you, and what did you go shopping for, anyway my male chauvinist side came out but the game continued. The Jokers came back at us, pushing hard towards our defence moving towards Dan and Colin who measured up to them, tracked them and defended well. Colin always going in hard and making his challenges first time well done. We pushed forward again after a big goal kick by Bernie after a few attempted headers the ball landed with Ian who switched it from right over to Medge on the left who danced around one then two then on his left foot you beauty it's in.1 0 Alliance.
The Jokers took the retake, Dan working hard at the back, backed up by Ketch and Colin, Dai clearing his lines and making great challenges. Jonesy running hard and pushing the ball forward as much as possible trying to find Medge and to create chances, the ball bounced back in our favour we pushed forward Paul screaming orders, Dan and Ketch commanding the rear then the ball from my vantage point seemed to bobble back off a Joker after some one had a shot not sure who and then some how bounced of another joker and Oh my God its in, Yey 2 - 0 Alliance own goal by the Jokers.
When half time came we were looking goooood! (At this point the editor steps in to make everyone aware of a strange 20 minute period in the first half which clearly affected Micah as much as the players. Things werent looking good at half time, we were 5-2 down after being 2-0 up. See below but imagine some of it happened in the first half).
Paul giving his normal up lifting team talk it looked like we had this in the bag. 2nd Half The Jokers, proper angry and cheesed off kicked off. Paul bossing it in the middle got hold of the ball knocked a ball over the top chased by Dan backed up by Ian here we go again, then some how the ball found its way to Jokers who pushed back at us and some how crap they scored, it was weak never mind start again lads we all said start again. We kicked off, the ball bouncing around Ketch in his first game back clearing his lines hard and well, Collin tracking his player constantly and getting struck in Chris clearing the ball out the ball landing at Iain's feet. Iain turns and swings a great shot just over the bar a decent effort. We played hard and kept battling hard, then they get a corner, it was then that I felt a great disturbance in the force , the ball played in curling to the far post and then it happened they scored , The Shit Bastards scored 2 1 well never mind lads lets go again then a few minutes later 2 2, OK lads dont worry, keep it cool Paul said calm it down lets get some composure on the ball, then again they came back at us we tracked them back making tackles where needed, marking their players but then an a opening on the right hand side gave them an advantage they broke through and holly hell 3 -2 to the Jokers, not sure what was going on but they clearly found a weakness in the Alliance's armour.
We continued to battle hard and to be honest there really wasnt much in it with Medge getting another goal with a great strike after muscling his way forward. Jonesy again creating chances up front and then Iain also sending another one in, good man Iain great vision. But then before we knew it the shit, I mean the Jokers, had become invigorated Hey whats going on we are playing so well and before I could scream loud enough to wake Henry up it was 4 - 2 Oh my little Padawan dont wake sleep.. It was then that it got a little scrappy as we were fighting hard the Jokers didnt like the fact that we could fight as hard as them and take it and give it back to them, at one point I clearly remember Dan holding his temper and not ripping one of the Jokers' heads off. Paul, also flexing his muscles but showing them who was boss, and me giving them a piece of my mind from the side line.
Then the score line started to change rapidly, the Alliance, no matter (how they stop us, no matter - insert from the ed) what we did couldnt stop the dark force of evil breaking through again they scored 5 - 2 (see half time comment) then 6 - 4 oh hell its 7 - 4 but the Alliance did not sit back, not from where I was standing, I really dont know how they managed to take the victory from us, you may have your opinions but to me it seemed just damned unlucky on our side. We basically got taken up the arse by this lot and not sure why this happened as to be honest the Alliance did not relent or give up it was just one of those games where the Gods decided to screw us. Ketch you played well in your first game back. Well done Sir, not too rusty at all.Bernie again hats of to you for going in between the sticks (Ed - Sorry Micah but I made a dog's cock of between the sticks. Closing my eyes and hoping for the best isnt what we needed).Captain Paul as ever you played hard and dedicated.Gibbsy, Dan, Colin some excellent challenges in defence, Jonesy, Iain, Medge great performances lads.
We will have our day, lets be positive, our day is coming and we will be victorious, I have to say that after careful deliberation with Henry, we decided that the man of the match goes to Colin who challenged better than I have ever seen him, and marked his man constantly a great effort well done Colin. If I have forgotten anything forgive me but such a high scoring game there was a lot going on but well done lads keep your chins up.
Monday, 27 October 2008
Monday, 20 October 2008
Sunday 19 October: Perfidious Albion (a): Market Road
Opening up the season with a narrow defeat against Green Park Rangers was certainly not the start to the season that our ever enthuisiastic Captain had forseseen. Fortunately, being a Geordie, he’s well used to his pre-season visions not coming to pass. He had used words like “unlucky” and “nearly” in his analysis of last week’s game (and some others that required an interpreter) but he was clearly unsettled by a disappointing start to the season.
So the Captain wore a worried look when he called me one side to: “Take a look at this.” Slightly concerned and panic stricken, I was all ready to reassure him that it wasn’t that bad and nothing a course of antibiotics couldn’t handle when he – much to my relief – pulled out a piece of paper and a pen from an orange sock. On it was a list of his brave little soldiers and a battle plan for victory. He talked for a bit, I listened, nodding occasionally, before agreeing upon a formation I barely understood.
So we lined up with Eddie between the sticks, Steve, Dai, Chris and Bernie across the back, an unfathomable midfield matrix of Paul, Dan, Simon, Jonny and Micah, and Hudson – sporting new boots fitted with a pioneering Malice Regulation Device – doing the Alliance’s bit to promote global terror up front. On the bench, Gibbsy, Colin, and Jeff waited for the call whilst exchanging pleasantries with Henry.
Off we go then with the possibility of mood lighting later in the game courtesy of the newly installed Market Road wind turbine (not the only thing powered by wind). As usual, we were quickly into our silky stride, knocking the ball around with clueless ease. Simon, Dan and Paul were starting to win the midfield battle, the back four set up their own version of Offa’s Dyke in front of Eddie and Matty was busy playing nice guy up front as the FA-sponsored valium held firm.
But it was on the flanks that the action really started, sparked into life by the latest instalment of the Alliance sponsored foul-throw-a-thon (nearly £8 now raised for ‘Knees for Nick’). Taking their lead from the do-gooding, Jonny and Micah started marauding in the wide open spaces and linking up nicely with Paul, Matt and Simon. Several half-chances came and went as a few crosses narrowly missed their target and a few shots missed the target. Meantime at the back, Chris was just offering round brandy and cigars when Perfidious broke.
I say broke, I mean hoofed it over the top. Still struggling with the cigar cutter, Dai made a dog’s breakfast of a simple ball over the top but breathed a sigh of releif when his pace came to the rescue once again. Corner to Perfidious. Bit of pushing and shoving in the penalty area (not helped by Bernie cracking open a pack of mini-cheddars) was quickly forgotten when the ball looped over us all only for Eddie to leap like an imposing Colombian goalkeeper and tip over the bar. Still 0-0 and a wake up call for the Alliance.
With half-time appraoching we were quickly back on the attack, again down the flanks where Jonny continued to maraude and Micah worked tirelessly holding the ball up and linking play nicely. It was from one of the flanks that the ball was worked into the middle where Dan had made a rare foray upfield, setting off my ‘shit I feel all exposed’ panic alarm in the process. But once there, he picked the ball up on the edge of the D, shaped to hit it with his left foot, thought better of it, shaped to hit it with his right foot, couldn’t, and so reluctantly went back to his left. After 3 whole minutes, he eventually let fly with his left foot and we were 1-0 up. Cue customary Dan hard man goal celebration.
Half-time. (Ice-cream and refreshments on sale in the foyer)
At half-time we congratulated ourselves on a job well-done and talked about continuing the work rate and spreading the ball wider where Jonny and Micah were excelling (or maybe that was just what I said). With Paul, Simon and Dan ruling midfield, and Dai and Chris doing a steady job with Steve and Bernie at the back, we were looking good.
You will excuse the short write up of the second half but I only played 10 minutes of it and frankly lost interest as soon as Henry revealed that not only did he have a Bob the Builder figure, but a tractor too. From what I remember, they shifted it round a bit and dropped one of their strikers back into midfield and brought on a blunderbus of a striker up front. No matter, Chris and Dan were having him for breakfast.
Still we looked like the better team, with Jonny, Matty and Micah starting to link up well up front. Again chances came and went, one in particular where Jonny was a fag-paper away from converting a cross from Matty or Micah or someone else beginning with M. By this time Gibbsy, Jeff and Colin were all on all as Bernie, Steve and Dai took their leave.
Still very much on top, we needed another goal to give us reward for our superiority. Eventually it came when Jonny latched on to a smart through ball and slid the ball under the onrushing keeper. 2-0 and the Chairman’s starting to calculate win bonuses.
But with the promise of a £5 book token in the offing, the Alliance fell apart. Sinking too deep and giving the ball away needlessly, Perfidious started to think that there was something in this game for them. Eddie made a couple of smart saves but cracks were starting to show. Shortly afterwards one crack in particular became a cavernous split. First a cross that we failed to cut was netted at the near post (could have been a bicycle kick from 40 yards for all I can remember) and then with just seconds remaining, a floaty, loopy, flicky, gay shot from the edge of the area left Eddie with no chance. 2-2. Can you fucking believe it?
Plenty of positives: Matty’s new anti-malice device, Dan as the shield in front of the back four, Jonny bringing a sense of adventure to the right hand side, Simon and Paul quietly effective in the middle and mini-cheddars at corners.
Negatives: Drawing with a team that even Newcastle might beat. (“Which one of you is Perfidious? You’re a c**t.”) Oh, and the fact that Coyley’s volley from the edge of the box (speed-gunned at 150mph) just flew over the bar.
MOM: Micah. A grand job on the left hand-side, making good use of the ball, linking play well, battling for everything and demonstrating that you too can throw the ball a fucking long way if you take creatin powder and eat 6 whole chickens a day.
Bernie's PS: I actually cleared one off the line in the first half plus here's Uncle Gibbsy on the tele: http://www.pringles.co.uk/football/extras.aspx (scroll down to the second video)
So the Captain wore a worried look when he called me one side to: “Take a look at this.” Slightly concerned and panic stricken, I was all ready to reassure him that it wasn’t that bad and nothing a course of antibiotics couldn’t handle when he – much to my relief – pulled out a piece of paper and a pen from an orange sock. On it was a list of his brave little soldiers and a battle plan for victory. He talked for a bit, I listened, nodding occasionally, before agreeing upon a formation I barely understood.
So we lined up with Eddie between the sticks, Steve, Dai, Chris and Bernie across the back, an unfathomable midfield matrix of Paul, Dan, Simon, Jonny and Micah, and Hudson – sporting new boots fitted with a pioneering Malice Regulation Device – doing the Alliance’s bit to promote global terror up front. On the bench, Gibbsy, Colin, and Jeff waited for the call whilst exchanging pleasantries with Henry.
Off we go then with the possibility of mood lighting later in the game courtesy of the newly installed Market Road wind turbine (not the only thing powered by wind). As usual, we were quickly into our silky stride, knocking the ball around with clueless ease. Simon, Dan and Paul were starting to win the midfield battle, the back four set up their own version of Offa’s Dyke in front of Eddie and Matty was busy playing nice guy up front as the FA-sponsored valium held firm.
But it was on the flanks that the action really started, sparked into life by the latest instalment of the Alliance sponsored foul-throw-a-thon (nearly £8 now raised for ‘Knees for Nick’). Taking their lead from the do-gooding, Jonny and Micah started marauding in the wide open spaces and linking up nicely with Paul, Matt and Simon. Several half-chances came and went as a few crosses narrowly missed their target and a few shots missed the target. Meantime at the back, Chris was just offering round brandy and cigars when Perfidious broke.
I say broke, I mean hoofed it over the top. Still struggling with the cigar cutter, Dai made a dog’s breakfast of a simple ball over the top but breathed a sigh of releif when his pace came to the rescue once again. Corner to Perfidious. Bit of pushing and shoving in the penalty area (not helped by Bernie cracking open a pack of mini-cheddars) was quickly forgotten when the ball looped over us all only for Eddie to leap like an imposing Colombian goalkeeper and tip over the bar. Still 0-0 and a wake up call for the Alliance.
With half-time appraoching we were quickly back on the attack, again down the flanks where Jonny continued to maraude and Micah worked tirelessly holding the ball up and linking play nicely. It was from one of the flanks that the ball was worked into the middle where Dan had made a rare foray upfield, setting off my ‘shit I feel all exposed’ panic alarm in the process. But once there, he picked the ball up on the edge of the D, shaped to hit it with his left foot, thought better of it, shaped to hit it with his right foot, couldn’t, and so reluctantly went back to his left. After 3 whole minutes, he eventually let fly with his left foot and we were 1-0 up. Cue customary Dan hard man goal celebration.
Half-time. (Ice-cream and refreshments on sale in the foyer)
At half-time we congratulated ourselves on a job well-done and talked about continuing the work rate and spreading the ball wider where Jonny and Micah were excelling (or maybe that was just what I said). With Paul, Simon and Dan ruling midfield, and Dai and Chris doing a steady job with Steve and Bernie at the back, we were looking good.
You will excuse the short write up of the second half but I only played 10 minutes of it and frankly lost interest as soon as Henry revealed that not only did he have a Bob the Builder figure, but a tractor too. From what I remember, they shifted it round a bit and dropped one of their strikers back into midfield and brought on a blunderbus of a striker up front. No matter, Chris and Dan were having him for breakfast.
Still we looked like the better team, with Jonny, Matty and Micah starting to link up well up front. Again chances came and went, one in particular where Jonny was a fag-paper away from converting a cross from Matty or Micah or someone else beginning with M. By this time Gibbsy, Jeff and Colin were all on all as Bernie, Steve and Dai took their leave.
Still very much on top, we needed another goal to give us reward for our superiority. Eventually it came when Jonny latched on to a smart through ball and slid the ball under the onrushing keeper. 2-0 and the Chairman’s starting to calculate win bonuses.
But with the promise of a £5 book token in the offing, the Alliance fell apart. Sinking too deep and giving the ball away needlessly, Perfidious started to think that there was something in this game for them. Eddie made a couple of smart saves but cracks were starting to show. Shortly afterwards one crack in particular became a cavernous split. First a cross that we failed to cut was netted at the near post (could have been a bicycle kick from 40 yards for all I can remember) and then with just seconds remaining, a floaty, loopy, flicky, gay shot from the edge of the area left Eddie with no chance. 2-2. Can you fucking believe it?
Plenty of positives: Matty’s new anti-malice device, Dan as the shield in front of the back four, Jonny bringing a sense of adventure to the right hand side, Simon and Paul quietly effective in the middle and mini-cheddars at corners.
Negatives: Drawing with a team that even Newcastle might beat. (“Which one of you is Perfidious? You’re a c**t.”) Oh, and the fact that Coyley’s volley from the edge of the box (speed-gunned at 150mph) just flew over the bar.
MOM: Micah. A grand job on the left hand-side, making good use of the ball, linking play well, battling for everything and demonstrating that you too can throw the ball a fucking long way if you take creatin powder and eat 6 whole chickens a day.
Bernie's PS: I actually cleared one off the line in the first half plus here's Uncle Gibbsy on the tele: http://www.pringles.co.uk/football/extras.aspx (scroll down to the second video)
Monday, 13 October 2008
20089 FIXTURES/RESULTS
Green Park Rangers Battersea League AWAY 12/10/2008: 2-3 (Medge, Ballsy)
Perfidious Albion Market Road League AWAY 19/10/2008: 2-2 (Dan, Johnny
Jokers Market Road League AWAY 26/10/2008: 7-4 (Paul, Medge 2, Own Goal)
Fowlers Mile End Cup AWAY 05/11/2008 (8.30pm KO): 0-8 (massive neg)
Shanty Town Clapham League HOME 15/11/2008 (1.30pm KO) 3-3 (Paul, Dan, Hudson)
Golden Boots Market Road League AWAY 23/11/2008 2-3
Strollers Market Road League AWAY 30/11/2008 2-2 (Dan 2)
Cambazola Market Road Cup AWAY (10/01/2009) 0-5
FC National Putney League AWAY 24/01/2009
Cambazola Clapham Cup HOME 01/02/2009 (1.30pm KO)
Jokers Market Road League AWAY 08/02/2009
Strollers Clapham League HOME 15/02/2009 (1.30pm KO)
Fowlers Clapham Cup HOME 21/02/2009 (1.30pm KO)
Shanty Town Market Road League AWAY 28/02/2009
Jokers Clapham Cup HOME 07/03/2008 (1.30pm KO)
Golden Boots Clapham League HOME 14/03/2008 (1.30pm KO)
FC National Clapham League HOME 21/03/2008 (1.30pm KO)
Perfidious Albion Clapham LeagueHOME 29/03/2008 (1.30pm KO)
Green Park Rangers (Location TBC) League HOME 25/04/2008
Jokers (Location TBC) League HOME 10/05/2008
Perfidious Albion Market Road League AWAY 19/10/2008: 2-2 (Dan, Johnny
Jokers Market Road League AWAY 26/10/2008: 7-4 (Paul, Medge 2, Own Goal)
Fowlers Mile End Cup AWAY 05/11/2008 (8.30pm KO): 0-8 (massive neg)
Shanty Town Clapham League HOME 15/11/2008 (1.30pm KO) 3-3 (Paul, Dan, Hudson)
Golden Boots Market Road League AWAY 23/11/2008 2-3
Strollers Market Road League AWAY 30/11/2008 2-2 (Dan 2)
Cambazola Market Road Cup AWAY (10/01/2009) 0-5
FC National Putney League AWAY 24/01/2009
Cambazola Clapham Cup HOME 01/02/2009 (1.30pm KO)
Jokers Market Road League AWAY 08/02/2009
Strollers Clapham League HOME 15/02/2009 (1.30pm KO)
Fowlers Clapham Cup HOME 21/02/2009 (1.30pm KO)
Shanty Town Market Road League AWAY 28/02/2009
Jokers Clapham Cup HOME 07/03/2008 (1.30pm KO)
Golden Boots Clapham League HOME 14/03/2008 (1.30pm KO)
FC National Clapham League HOME 21/03/2008 (1.30pm KO)
Perfidious Albion Clapham LeagueHOME 29/03/2008 (1.30pm KO)
Green Park Rangers (Location TBC) League HOME 25/04/2008
Jokers (Location TBC) League HOME 10/05/2008
Sunday 12 October: vs GPR (A) at Battsersea Park
Howay lads, we’re not a bunch of 9yr olds.
Coyley’s latest nonsensical motivational shoutings (see title) still rings through my ears as I write the blog in the absence of the Bard Bernie, apologies for any poor description of the game but, as I’ve told many women the day after when I forget their name, “I had a car accident a few years ago and I now consequently have a very poor short term memory”.
Week started badly as the team sheet rolled in to Captain Coyley with something like 11 forward minded players and 2 defenders on the list. The missing of Dan, Dai, Chris and Bernie due to family commitments earns them the right to buy the first round next Sunday. Other losses included Gibbsy and Geoff who I can only assume are dead and so are exempt from pint buying.
So we turn up on an un-seasonally warm day at Battersea park to face GRP high on the confidence building friendly win and looking to finish this lower league shower off before half time then switch off and catch up the ‘man tan’ in the second. The Captain took his deserved vice captain for the day (me) aside for a chat about the team in which he showed me the team on the back of a bus timetable, I recommended changes, he disregarded them, we were set. Very makeshift team read as follows: Eddie (welcome return in goal), John F and Crouch (centre backs) Johnny (RB) Colin (LB) Hudson & Coyley (CM) Ballsy (AMF) Iain (RAMF) Micah (LAMF) Mej (CF) Subs: Pete, Steve. (Ed. Fucking hell the positioning is like Championship Manager 2003)
The game started well from the centre backs view, very scrappy but holding our own. No real chances early doors but some worrying signs as balls got sent over the top and our terrifyingly rapid centre back pairing were caught out of position and out of line a couple of times. Sadly this tactic paid off after 15 mins or so with a ball over the top and myself and a GPR attacker chasing back, the tactical football magazines I read as a child told me I should have taken ball and player out of the game but I opted for the frankly surprising choice of neither. Unfortunately Eddie had strayed off his line and my crap tackle led to a jammy shot creeping into the corner 1-0 GPR.
Some good work coming from Ballsy Micah on the left and Johnny and Iain on the right was settling us down, if we could get a few in the mixer it looked like it might be turning, sadly they raped the wind out of our sails with a well worked goal involving some kind of camp precise backheel and a lucky crisply hit curling 18 yard strike into the top corner, no one at fault for this one, perhaps we could have closed them down quicker. 2-0
I started getting annoyed at being a shit centre back at this point and thought I’d take it upon myself to be a shit forward for a bit. I’m not 100% sure but it must have been a corner or I wouldn’t have been in their box but a ball into the middle led to a GPR defender hastily clearing the ball into my testicles from point blank range on the 6 yard box and with superb ball control (see what I did there) it landed at my feet. As the dark clouds of unconsciousness began to take hold I managed to turn and lay it off to Ballsy on the edge of the area middle of the goal, one touch to set himself then a deft curled effort into the top corner. Good stuff 2-1.
Half Time.
Second half began with Steve coming on at right back for Micah, Johnny goes Right Wing and Iain over to the left. Ramshackle defending lets them back in a number of times and Eddy works wonders to keep them at bay until finally he can only palm one upward and the bounce defeats John F (not his fault) to allow their forward to nod home from 1 yard 3-1.
We then start to build with Johnny working hard on the right and Mej getting very close to being put through by Iain, Ballsy and Coyley but all either cut out or too long, just. Several corners came our way with sound deliveries from Iain leading to some great chances for Steve and others I can’t remember. Finally the pressure told with a really good goal. Corner for GPR, sterling defending from Pete (on for Colin at LB) to start a move down the right. Sorry if I miss anyone here but I know Johnny ran a long way with the ball, exchanged passes with someone (sorry) and put Coyley in on the angle. Coyley played a deliberate and precise scuffed shot into the area and Mej volleyed home. 3-2.
At this point our gander was up and with Micah scaring the living piss out of everyone on the sidelines with manic berating (good work Micah) and Coyley referring to us a 9 year olds (again) we wanted it more than them. More corners came in, more chances. Then the moment we were all waiting for Ballsy takes a short corner to Mej, Mej sends in a near perfect cross and Johnny can’t quite grow enough to get over the header and guided it wide (which to be fair was all he could have done, bloody short people)
We (me) then switched off a bit and a few chances fell to GPR which they should have taken but for the quality of Eddy in the sticks, before we knew it the whistle had gone 3-2 GPR.
Positives: Understrength and unknown team played some decent stuff at times and effort was good. Made chances from set pieces and defended high balls relatively well. Coyley got a new catchphrase.
Negatives: Lost.
Overall some good games out there, stand-out performance outfield from Johnny with good running and skills down the right just not able to get the crosses over due to solid defending, but it’ll come. Micah almost won MOM from the sidelines with his shouting 12th man performance also for taking the kit again (someone else next time please lads). But MOM has to go to Eddy for some top saves and good presence in the box, could have been out of it early in the second without the big man, well played sir.
I apologise for my centre back performance, I think the shot to the love spuds was some divine justice for allowing them through so many times. Also had my t shirt nicked/taken by accident so if anyone finds a dark blue T-Shirt with ‘Cougars’ written on it, it’s mine you thieving git! (only joking, I’ll have it back next game please). Also I had to look after a woman this week (not you Iain) so will be back on the social secretary scene next week where we can get a few more of us down the pub post match.
Big shout to Hudson who played well but has not received a mention at all in the blog because he a) kept his temper and b) didn’t injury himself. Well done resident evil, we salute you (and well done whoever spiked him with depressants before the game).
Special mention to Sophie and Vicki for their support and presenting of individual bags of haribo after the game. You’re welcome everytime.
Coyley’s latest nonsensical motivational shoutings (see title) still rings through my ears as I write the blog in the absence of the Bard Bernie, apologies for any poor description of the game but, as I’ve told many women the day after when I forget their name, “I had a car accident a few years ago and I now consequently have a very poor short term memory”.
Week started badly as the team sheet rolled in to Captain Coyley with something like 11 forward minded players and 2 defenders on the list. The missing of Dan, Dai, Chris and Bernie due to family commitments earns them the right to buy the first round next Sunday. Other losses included Gibbsy and Geoff who I can only assume are dead and so are exempt from pint buying.
So we turn up on an un-seasonally warm day at Battersea park to face GRP high on the confidence building friendly win and looking to finish this lower league shower off before half time then switch off and catch up the ‘man tan’ in the second. The Captain took his deserved vice captain for the day (me) aside for a chat about the team in which he showed me the team on the back of a bus timetable, I recommended changes, he disregarded them, we were set. Very makeshift team read as follows: Eddie (welcome return in goal), John F and Crouch (centre backs) Johnny (RB) Colin (LB) Hudson & Coyley (CM) Ballsy (AMF) Iain (RAMF) Micah (LAMF) Mej (CF) Subs: Pete, Steve. (Ed. Fucking hell the positioning is like Championship Manager 2003)
The game started well from the centre backs view, very scrappy but holding our own. No real chances early doors but some worrying signs as balls got sent over the top and our terrifyingly rapid centre back pairing were caught out of position and out of line a couple of times. Sadly this tactic paid off after 15 mins or so with a ball over the top and myself and a GPR attacker chasing back, the tactical football magazines I read as a child told me I should have taken ball and player out of the game but I opted for the frankly surprising choice of neither. Unfortunately Eddie had strayed off his line and my crap tackle led to a jammy shot creeping into the corner 1-0 GPR.
Some good work coming from Ballsy Micah on the left and Johnny and Iain on the right was settling us down, if we could get a few in the mixer it looked like it might be turning, sadly they raped the wind out of our sails with a well worked goal involving some kind of camp precise backheel and a lucky crisply hit curling 18 yard strike into the top corner, no one at fault for this one, perhaps we could have closed them down quicker. 2-0
I started getting annoyed at being a shit centre back at this point and thought I’d take it upon myself to be a shit forward for a bit. I’m not 100% sure but it must have been a corner or I wouldn’t have been in their box but a ball into the middle led to a GPR defender hastily clearing the ball into my testicles from point blank range on the 6 yard box and with superb ball control (see what I did there) it landed at my feet. As the dark clouds of unconsciousness began to take hold I managed to turn and lay it off to Ballsy on the edge of the area middle of the goal, one touch to set himself then a deft curled effort into the top corner. Good stuff 2-1.
Half Time.
Second half began with Steve coming on at right back for Micah, Johnny goes Right Wing and Iain over to the left. Ramshackle defending lets them back in a number of times and Eddy works wonders to keep them at bay until finally he can only palm one upward and the bounce defeats John F (not his fault) to allow their forward to nod home from 1 yard 3-1.
We then start to build with Johnny working hard on the right and Mej getting very close to being put through by Iain, Ballsy and Coyley but all either cut out or too long, just. Several corners came our way with sound deliveries from Iain leading to some great chances for Steve and others I can’t remember. Finally the pressure told with a really good goal. Corner for GPR, sterling defending from Pete (on for Colin at LB) to start a move down the right. Sorry if I miss anyone here but I know Johnny ran a long way with the ball, exchanged passes with someone (sorry) and put Coyley in on the angle. Coyley played a deliberate and precise scuffed shot into the area and Mej volleyed home. 3-2.
At this point our gander was up and with Micah scaring the living piss out of everyone on the sidelines with manic berating (good work Micah) and Coyley referring to us a 9 year olds (again) we wanted it more than them. More corners came in, more chances. Then the moment we were all waiting for Ballsy takes a short corner to Mej, Mej sends in a near perfect cross and Johnny can’t quite grow enough to get over the header and guided it wide (which to be fair was all he could have done, bloody short people)
We (me) then switched off a bit and a few chances fell to GPR which they should have taken but for the quality of Eddy in the sticks, before we knew it the whistle had gone 3-2 GPR.
Positives: Understrength and unknown team played some decent stuff at times and effort was good. Made chances from set pieces and defended high balls relatively well. Coyley got a new catchphrase.
Negatives: Lost.
Overall some good games out there, stand-out performance outfield from Johnny with good running and skills down the right just not able to get the crosses over due to solid defending, but it’ll come. Micah almost won MOM from the sidelines with his shouting 12th man performance also for taking the kit again (someone else next time please lads). But MOM has to go to Eddy for some top saves and good presence in the box, could have been out of it early in the second without the big man, well played sir.
I apologise for my centre back performance, I think the shot to the love spuds was some divine justice for allowing them through so many times. Also had my t shirt nicked/taken by accident so if anyone finds a dark blue T-Shirt with ‘Cougars’ written on it, it’s mine you thieving git! (only joking, I’ll have it back next game please). Also I had to look after a woman this week (not you Iain) so will be back on the social secretary scene next week where we can get a few more of us down the pub post match.
Big shout to Hudson who played well but has not received a mention at all in the blog because he a) kept his temper and b) didn’t injury himself. Well done resident evil, we salute you (and well done whoever spiked him with depressants before the game).
Special mention to Sophie and Vicki for their support and presenting of individual bags of haribo after the game. You’re welcome everytime.
Sunday, 28 September 2008
Pre-season friendly vs Fowlers, Mile End, 25 Sept 08
Now then
Here we are again, another season for the Alliance, another lacklustre performance and drubbing I suppose? Oh no not here. Not the new Alliance, under the stewardship of Coyley, not these days.
A bumper turn out which bodes well for the season with a new signing - Jonesy - and a couple of returning old boys in Darty, Hudson and Chris G respectively - making appearances in an Alliance shirt (which we are led to believe may change before the start of the season if we can invoke the overdraft facilities of our bank account quickly enough).
Coyley gave one of his now infamous team talks, wearing the captain's armband, and while Dai as vice captain was doing up his laces and rubbing in his deep throat, I mean heat, lined the 'new look' Alliance up like so:
Smithy in goals, Johnny at right back, the partnership of Dai and Chris restored at the back and Colin on the left gave us a solid back five. In midfield, veteran Dan Monahan sat in front of the defence allowing Crouchy and Coyley to push on, with Iain and Micah running the flanks with Darty leading the line (or waddling around up front). The team knew they had to perform as in Coyley's new regime no one is safe. Johnny was told he would be subbed at half time before even kicking a ball in anger! Waiting in the wings was a Stuppley, a Hudsony, Woody and a Jonesy.
In the first half, it was quite tight, neither team giving much quarter. The 4-3-3 Coyley formation held up well, as did the defence who were valiant in their efforts to thwart the danger of the opposition's strike force. We had a few frights but Smithy was more than a match for any attempts on goal. In terms of attacking we showed signs of creativity, some strong running by Darty up front, Iain dropping deep and Johnny from right back managing to keep their trickiest player quiet while marauding up the wing. We had a few chances but nothing materialised until Iain got on the end of one and squeezed one in from a tight angle, at least that's how it looked from in goals as we thought it had gone wide. 1-0 Alliance against a first division side. Just before the break Darty was substituted for Hudson, after a clumsy run into the box, Darty lost control and slid into try and force the ball over the line injurying himself in the process.
Half time and quiet contentment for the Alliance. A few changes are made with Micah coming off for Jonesy and Paul coming off for Woody, with Pete coming on for Colin at left back and Hudson barely on for a few seconds in the first half had a half to prove to the boss he'd still got it. Similar stuff in the second but with Fowlers pushing hard for an equaliser there was more pressure on the defence. Temperatures rose with a few flare ups, and with Hudson putting himself about substantially in a way only Hudson knows how. To the point where some idiot baldy on their team started suggesting Hudson should be substituted. Undeterred Hudson continued reckless tackle after reckless tackle.
Somewhere in the middle of this the pressure told. A free kick conceded, a low free kick that escaped the wall bouncing just in front of Micah who did well to save (who by now had as you may have gathered replaced Smithy in goals, who in turned replaced Johnny at right back) but unfortunately spilled the rebound and their strikers were quicker to the ball than us lot and they equalised. Why dont we hit low balls at the keeper and follow them in? Note that one everyone. 1-1 and the natural balance of things for the Alliance. But with Woody and Jonesy pulling the strings we started opening them up as they pressed for a winner. Quite a few attacks later and somewhere a long the line Paul got a tap in and it's 2-1. More of that this season please. A quick response to conceding. Magic. With a few minutes to go with the Fowlers giving up after rebuff after rebuff from the Alliance defence, including some good saves from Micah, Woody put Jonesy into a goal scoring position (I think) and Jonesy smashed it in with the keeper barely moving.
Meanwhile on Planet Hudson, at this point the score being 1-1, Woody set Hudson off on a run to the edge of the penalty area sliding in to knock it past the keeper. The bald guy, abusing Hudson from the stands, came into challenge and fell on top of Hudson who had managed to rub his head a long the astro turf leaving him bloody headed and a swollen eyebrow. Hudson made way for Paul to come back on who eventually scored to make it 2-1. Hmmm this paragraph should have come earlier, oh well.
And that was that. A welcome and morale boosting win for the Alliance - more of this if you please gentlemen.
Coyley got the Alliance's season off to a cracker in a Kevin Peterson style way - but like KP it will be the bad times where Coyley has to prove his worth.
MOM spoils are shared between Johnny and Jonesy respectively.
God bless you Alliance.
Here we are again, another season for the Alliance, another lacklustre performance and drubbing I suppose? Oh no not here. Not the new Alliance, under the stewardship of Coyley, not these days.
A bumper turn out which bodes well for the season with a new signing - Jonesy - and a couple of returning old boys in Darty, Hudson and Chris G respectively - making appearances in an Alliance shirt (which we are led to believe may change before the start of the season if we can invoke the overdraft facilities of our bank account quickly enough).
Coyley gave one of his now infamous team talks, wearing the captain's armband, and while Dai as vice captain was doing up his laces and rubbing in his deep throat, I mean heat, lined the 'new look' Alliance up like so:
Smithy in goals, Johnny at right back, the partnership of Dai and Chris restored at the back and Colin on the left gave us a solid back five. In midfield, veteran Dan Monahan sat in front of the defence allowing Crouchy and Coyley to push on, with Iain and Micah running the flanks with Darty leading the line (or waddling around up front). The team knew they had to perform as in Coyley's new regime no one is safe. Johnny was told he would be subbed at half time before even kicking a ball in anger! Waiting in the wings was a Stuppley, a Hudsony, Woody and a Jonesy.
In the first half, it was quite tight, neither team giving much quarter. The 4-3-3 Coyley formation held up well, as did the defence who were valiant in their efforts to thwart the danger of the opposition's strike force. We had a few frights but Smithy was more than a match for any attempts on goal. In terms of attacking we showed signs of creativity, some strong running by Darty up front, Iain dropping deep and Johnny from right back managing to keep their trickiest player quiet while marauding up the wing. We had a few chances but nothing materialised until Iain got on the end of one and squeezed one in from a tight angle, at least that's how it looked from in goals as we thought it had gone wide. 1-0 Alliance against a first division side. Just before the break Darty was substituted for Hudson, after a clumsy run into the box, Darty lost control and slid into try and force the ball over the line injurying himself in the process.
Half time and quiet contentment for the Alliance. A few changes are made with Micah coming off for Jonesy and Paul coming off for Woody, with Pete coming on for Colin at left back and Hudson barely on for a few seconds in the first half had a half to prove to the boss he'd still got it. Similar stuff in the second but with Fowlers pushing hard for an equaliser there was more pressure on the defence. Temperatures rose with a few flare ups, and with Hudson putting himself about substantially in a way only Hudson knows how. To the point where some idiot baldy on their team started suggesting Hudson should be substituted. Undeterred Hudson continued reckless tackle after reckless tackle.
Somewhere in the middle of this the pressure told. A free kick conceded, a low free kick that escaped the wall bouncing just in front of Micah who did well to save (who by now had as you may have gathered replaced Smithy in goals, who in turned replaced Johnny at right back) but unfortunately spilled the rebound and their strikers were quicker to the ball than us lot and they equalised. Why dont we hit low balls at the keeper and follow them in? Note that one everyone. 1-1 and the natural balance of things for the Alliance. But with Woody and Jonesy pulling the strings we started opening them up as they pressed for a winner. Quite a few attacks later and somewhere a long the line Paul got a tap in and it's 2-1. More of that this season please. A quick response to conceding. Magic. With a few minutes to go with the Fowlers giving up after rebuff after rebuff from the Alliance defence, including some good saves from Micah, Woody put Jonesy into a goal scoring position (I think) and Jonesy smashed it in with the keeper barely moving.
Meanwhile on Planet Hudson, at this point the score being 1-1, Woody set Hudson off on a run to the edge of the penalty area sliding in to knock it past the keeper. The bald guy, abusing Hudson from the stands, came into challenge and fell on top of Hudson who had managed to rub his head a long the astro turf leaving him bloody headed and a swollen eyebrow. Hudson made way for Paul to come back on who eventually scored to make it 2-1. Hmmm this paragraph should have come earlier, oh well.
And that was that. A welcome and morale boosting win for the Alliance - more of this if you please gentlemen.
Coyley got the Alliance's season off to a cracker in a Kevin Peterson style way - but like KP it will be the bad times where Coyley has to prove his worth.
MOM spoils are shared between Johnny and Jonesy respectively.
God bless you Alliance.
Tuesday, 20 May 2008
15th May Strollers (H) @ Market Road by Coyely
Well fuck me, here I am about to lose my blog virginity, which has been a long time coming, so try and stay with me for my post match scrutiny. Not a bad turn out for a Thursday night with a crew of 13, which gave us a chance to test out 2 new lads in Medge and Johhny.
Paul turned up early doors, only to bump in to old Irish, John the ref who was off down to the bookies for a quick punt before the game, in a bid to carry on his winning streak after having won a £50 spot the previous Saturday in our normal drinking hideaway. Then the lads started turning in with Pete, Iain & Simon arriving at the scene followed by Jeff who I berated for selling me one of the famed, dodgy porn lighters, which broke the next day as I tried to light my Sunday night BBQ. Still though, the female projection, however unclear her muff might be, was the subject of many a laugh last Saturday night.
Bernie gave the reigns to Paul this week and let him deploy his tinkerman skills by letting him choose the team. Due to a lack of centre halves, a makeshift back four was brought together, opting for the little and large combo through the Centre, with Woody & Simon who didn’t disappoint on the night.
Woody, who I thought cancelled his trip to
After deciding against a 3-5-2 formation at the last minute, we decided to go for a flat back 4 and run of the mill midfield and forward line with some positional changes. Jeff filled in as right back and looked strong all game, attacking down the flank and chasing back to defend against their tall number 6 on many occasion. Colin slipped in as left back who has improved alot in recent weeks with some decent tackling, more composure and at last some accurate throw ins!
I went for a standard twosome combination of Dan and Iain in the middle of the park and decided to give Pete the nod over Steve on the left, after I had forgotten which one of them was the natural left footer of the two. I tried Micah on the right this week to see how he faired and he put in a good first half performance with plenty of support for Jeff and some tough slide tackling down the flank. Having played 5 aside a few times with Madge….Midge or Medge – still not totally sure on which it is, but settled for Medge in the end, I tried him up front with yours truly.
The game started off fairly high tempo with good competition in midfield, good work down the right and the defence looking cosier than previous weeks. For the first half, we were looking the strongest by some solid challenging by Dan and Micah. We put pressure on their mid-field from the start and broke away down the flanks on a few occasions, with Paul and Medge exploiting the space on the wings, which allowed the wingers and full backs to push on. Jeff broke through on one notable occasion doing all the hard work in beating the full back, only for the cross to fall short. On the other wing, Pete put in a decent effort before getting a twinge in his thigh, which resulted in Steve taking up the berth on the left wing.
Steve made some good run’s down the left flank and won some flick on’s in the first half, including one lob over the defenders head that Paul latched on to and squandered on his left foot, with the keeper getting down well. Paul later returned the favour by swinging a deep ball in from the right with Steve connecting, but unable to turn goalwards. Strollers can play though and won several corners themselves, where they always posed a threat. It seemed as if they always had a man spare in midfield and a missed pass in the middle of the park led to their first goal which was slotted home nicely by one of their centre mid-fielders the one with the distinct Art Garfunkle-esque hair cut. Still, we pressured and charged down their players well and actually looked like we could hold the ball up for once, which allowed our midfield to get forward.
Then came the corners. We’ve been looking more and more dangerous from these the past couple of weeks with more movement, aggression and accuracy from Iain’s low in – swingers. Dan came close on a couple of occasions and a couple of goalmouth scrambles followed, which resulted in one of their defenders clearing from the line.
Half time and Jon the ref kept up with his weekly one liners by pointing out Bernie looked as if he was in a time warp in reference to his antique goal keeper jersey. A clear sign that we need to get some new kit in for next season. Jon had a good game though, making some good decisions including my booking for the horrendous challenge I made on their fullback. Maybe I’m getting too nice these days, as I actually apologized and tried to check on how badly I mullered his leg.
As the game progressed, the Strollers went on the offensive with a few chances being put through from their midfield, but Little and large combo at the back cleared well and kept themselves amused all game by counting who won the most headers. You were never gonna win that one Woody. Their bearded Brian Blessed look-alike kept trying to break through but was kept quiet by Simon with good cover from Jeff and Woody.
Time for a change and in came new debutant Johnny who came on for Medjey with Micah, who was gradually creeping up front for most of the game, switching to his favoured position as forward. We continually pressed on wards with Iain stringing some good moves together and Dan winning the majority of headers from kicks. New boy Johnny looked effective down the right wing and continually niggled away at their fullback and even had a few efforts on goal. Unfortunately, the deficit increased with another goal from Garfunkle with a delivery that looped over Woody’s head from a bouncing ball in to the box. Nevertheless, The Alliance kept plugging away with Bernie cancelling out their attacks with good marshalling from Simon and Woody.
Bernie exploited the space we had by rolling the balls out from the back to Jeff or one of our centre backs. A few darting runs from both Woody and Simon in defence helped us heap more pressure on the Strollers. More chances came. Johhny swung a good ball in not soon after coming on the pitch but Crouchie, clearly forgetting he was playing centre half for the day, headed ‘a well out Si’ over the bar. We were made to rue more missed chances with a ball spilling to Steve who made an excellent run in to the box only to sky over the bar. Eventually, our continual pressing resulted in another chance at the other end with Garfunkle completing his hat-trick for the night by knocking it over Bernie to make it 3-0.
At times we played like a team, getting in to space and spreading the ball around nicely. The forward line went flat for most of the second half, which was summed up by Micah’s overhead volley blazing over the bar and Paul’s under par performance was later exemplified by latching on to a sitter, but failing to convert after opting to drag it past the keeper on his left, rather than rounding the keeper in the dying minutes of the game. Looking back, we put in a performance against a team we are not a million miles off. This was clearly not a 3-0 game and on a different day, one of us would have scored from those corners and Simon, Steve and Paul would have put away their efforts. We are not a million miles away from being a good team and we can take that effort in to the final game of the season and build on it for the next.
Unfortunately, no beers after the game this time, just a long tube journey home to reflect what could have been had we fired on all cylinders. Back to the house to eat some comfort food (last nights pasta) & watch Sweaty Betty on C4, an interesting documentary about ladies who sweat too much. I’m gutted about finishing bottom of the league and suffering from end of season blues. It’s tough at the top but it’s crap at the bottom gentlemen. We’ve got one more game to try and put it right so lets put the effort in for the final game and make sure we are ready to compete for something for next season.
Check out my player ratings and MOM award below:
Bernie: Made some excellent saves in the first half and had the vision to play it out from the back over the course of the game. Should be playing out of nets.8/10 (
Colin: Some good tackling & tracking back. Better throw in’s but needs to look up and concentrate more when passing. 6/10
Jeff: Battled against an awkward winger all game & got forward with some excellent running. Passed more than usual. Strong contender for MOM. 8/10
Simon: Reluctant to take out of mid-field but put in a top performance at centre-half as expected. Marked their forward out of the game. Awesome in the air all game apart from the missed effort. 9/10
Woody: Great partnership with Simon at the back. Got in front of his man to win the ball all game and even won some headers against taller opponents. Tried to carry the ball out of defence which is great to see. 9/10
Pete: Looked lively early on collecting the ball from Colin and moving up the pitch but got a twinge early on. Final through ball could have been better on occasion. 6/10
Micah: Asked to play on the right and responded well with some tough challenging and effort going forward. Covered for Jeff well. Moved back up front but performance went flatter in the second half. 7/10
Iain: Much improved passing since last match and laid some nice balls to the wing. Delivery on corners and free kicks has been causing a lot of danger lately. Tends to zonal mark & takes up good positions when ball is held up. 8½ /10
Dan: Reliable as ever in the centre although not playing fully fit. Held ball up and won headers from kicks all game. A couple of good crossed passes in to the box. Likes his corners when he announces ‘Dan’s!’. 8/10
Medge: Okay debut from someone who hasn’t played a great deal of 11 –aside but is one of the silkiest players I’ve played with at 5-aside. Didn’t get much of the ball on the day & should have released earlier on occasion. 6/10
Paul: Fucking absolute shite. Held up a few balls and spread it to Iain on a couple of occasions. Missed 2 good chances on his left foot. Worst performance of the season, should’ve stayed home & played on Pro Evo. 5/10
Subs Used:
Steve: Came on and had a go at the full back from the start. Won some headers but needed to be stronger in the tackle at times. Had the best opportunity to score in the match. 7/10
Johhny: Great debut and some good running down the wing. Draws a foul now and again and had a couple of efforts on goal. Could have released the ball sooner on a few occasions. One for next season. 8/10
Subs not used: Are you having a laugh!?
Monday, 12 May 2008
Saturday 10th May, Perfidious Albion @ Market Road
10th May 2008. Perfidious Albion @
2-4 Loss
We arrived to sweltering heat and Geoff (or Del Boy as he will now be known) trying to flog us Porno laser pens/lighters as he had picked up 1000 for 50 quid from the back of some truck. Having plunged the dressing room into darkness to show the projected ‘beauties’ in all their glory Coyley spent his match fees (not a euphemism) on five claiming they would make “canny gifts for the ladies”.
To the game: A half arsed warm up in the melting heat told us this was going to be a tough one and without President Bernie in nets the search for a keeper was on. Thankfully Dai asked the question, waited for the hands to fly up, and then inevitably ended up in goal himself. Woody at this time was getting a little nervous as to why there was no-one around at Kennington at 11.55, a quick ring to Coyley and he was thrashing his car northwards due to arrive before half time. So we line up 4-4-2 Dai in nets, Dan, Pete, Steve and Liam at the back, Midfield of Besty, Simon, Iain and Geoff, Micah and porn addict up front.
The game starts well, good movement and passes hitting feet for the first 30 maybe 40 seconds we even grab an early goal. Dan picks it up at the back, spots the gangly run of Evans and sends one over the top. Evans takes it in his stride, makes a massive meal of the effort and Micah knocks in the rebound off the far post, we’re cruising, and then it goes wrong.
Having had a bit of a session the night before Simon is dead on his feet after the early run and stops moving altogether. This leaves Iain holding the midfield on his own and while Geoff Besty and Simon are off looking for more goals the
John Hall introduces
Can’t remember much else about the first half as my eyeballs were sweating and I kept seeing a big beardy fella telling me to “walk towards the light my son”, might have been Dan telling me to “do some fucking work Simon”. Half time came and water was eagerly consumed. After spending my half time head under the tap I knew the game was up, once I could speak again I pathetically apologised to the team and pre-emptively subbed myself after 10 mins of the second half.
4-2 loss bad game all round and I apologise sincerely for going out boozing on Friday, I will accept disciplinary actions from the returning Bernie next week. MOM goes to Dai for going in nets and making some fine saves.
After the game all down to the Rosie McCann’s for a few joined by the ref who sneaked out to win 50 quid on the horses and then came back and bought us pints, big up John Hall. A few more pints go down and a spontaneous night out is organised between Coyley, Myself and Dai round Balham. I won’t bore you with the details but it involved a scary Polish nightclub, me drubbing the pair of them 3-0 at snooker, about 15 pints each and my last memory of the night was a room full of people looking up at the ceiling of the Bedford seeing a 15m2 image of a naked Thai Girl and Coyley holding his lighter grinning like a naughty schoolboy.
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