The week began with a heavy heart as I trudged my way into work on Monday morning, dragging my shoes like a seven year old on the first day back at school…thinking ‘where did the festive holidays go?’. Thoroughly despondent I arrived in the office to see Simon ‘Crouchy’ ‘Wrecking ball’ ‘Quino’ Evans who directed me to the xmas drinks blog and I turned my frown upside down. There was a reason to welcome in the New Year and feel good about it after all, the resumption of Northern Alliance fixtures after the winter break.

Suitably inspired I spent the rest of the week dreaming about a 2009 of emphatic wins as the sour taste of defeat fades into a distant memory…….
I already had my media quotes ready;
“well John, looking back all those losses were important for my development as a player”
“you have to learn how to lose gracefully before you can win with honour”
“you learn a lot about your team mates in times of difficulties and I’m just proud to be a part of this team that has dragged itself out of difficulties”
“She told me she was 17 – besides I never touched her”

Suitably inspired I dragged my sorry arse to the gym that evening – and due to feeling additional pressure from Simon ‘the mighty Quinn’ Evans’ declarations that he had stopped drinking for January.

Two more visits to the gym and many hours talking a good game with Crouchy and it was Friday already…time for a visit to the pub….
Iain: “Beer Simon?”
Simon: “No, I’m not drinking”
Iain: “Ok, Pint of Becks please – Simon interrupts – Sorry, make that two pints of Becks please barman”
Simon: “I’m off to a party tonight in oxford, so I guess I can have a couple”
Iain: “are you going to play tomorrow?”
Simon: “Yeah of course, I’m not having a big night and will be on the first bus home in plenty of time for the match”

Then Saturday was upon us

The day of the game soon arrived and despite Bernie changing location on us, we all made it on time – ish! The only sign of the Crouchy was a text I received at 10.45

“yeah, looking like a second half performance from me. F**king g** roads with their b**tard tw**ing traffic bloody jams”

Top swearing!

Being the observant type I also noticed a few faces from the past (good to see you back Liam and Guy) and a newbie reaching for the keepers shirt. (nice to meet you Sanj!)
Bernie looked nervous – if we had a keeper what would become of him?

So after standing around for a bit fizzing balls at the new keeper we moved in for the alliance team talk/huddle/general confusion that precedes our games. Bernie came prepared with an inspirational speech about caressing balls, expressing ourselves & cup games…..but, to be honest I switched off when he started a sentence with “even when we are losing……” so I can’t say what else he had learnt over Christmas.

Then Captain ‘what ban?’ Coyley stepped up with some of his own special form of inspiration. From what Dai translated for me it was along the lines of ‘we only get so many opportunities to play football in our lives and each game should be played like it is our last’
Wise words.

So game on – we lined up something like this

(GK) Sanj
Liamm Gibbsy Dai Bernie (Hi!)

Iain Dan ‘not so evil anymore’ Hudson Pete

Micah Coyley

Ten minutes in an all is looking good, except for the Alliance mascot & #1 fan Henry who looked like he was feeling the -10c.

Someone passed the ball, some other people headed the ball and there were some foul throws.

Then a pitch side incident – Henry in danger of getting hypothermia – meant Dan had to depart the field. 5mins of the midfield looking confused and struggling to understand why we were being overrun and the change is made permanent with Jonesy coming on for Dan.

Yours truly moved into the middle and Jonesy took up my position on the right.

There were a few more passes, some actually went to feet! I definitely remember a tackle or two and the ref had given up awarding foul throws as he was too busy trying to stay alive as the wind chill picked up and made it – 20c.

Gibbsy, Dai, Liam and Bernie were doing a sound job at the back and I even recall seeing an Alliance keeper come for high ball at a cross and take it comfortably (take note Huerelo Gomez) – Inspiring stuff.

Some where in the background there was a scream of ‘Go on Alliance’ and looking up I saw a dangerously thin tall lad running down the street – which could mean only one thing Crouchy had arrived.

Then they played a through ball that bypassed our defence just inside the half, all looked lost until Dai threw himself to the ground to clear the ball. That’s what you call playing like it’s your last game. Dai wasn’t moving much on the ground and when he did get up he was clutching his shoulder. It was clear that Dai wouldn’t be able to continue, Crouchy started to warm up.

Now I could be wrong – but Simon assures me it was 0-0 when he came on in central defence to replace Dai. A brief on field chat with Simon and he informs me that his tardiness was due to a Free Palestine demonstration. So there you go, proof that cause and effect (or the butterfly affect if you prefer) rules all aspects of life…..’Israel occupy land, shoot and bomb a load of people, they shoot and bomb back, and sure as night follows day the Northern Alliance suffer’

Some bloke on their side did something and it was 1-0 to them. More of the same and it was 2-0.

Half time came and Bernie replaced himself with our remaining sub Guy. Coyley turns to Guy and asks ‘are you left footed?’ Guy ‘no’..Coyley: ‘oh!….well, you’re playing left back anyway’

Second half wasn’t the best in terms of Alliance footy. I clearly remember trying to clear a ball in our box and not noticing their player behind me. Suffice to say he beat me to the ball – 3-0.

Now it wasn’t all that bad – we did have the odd spell of passing and I recall a couple of occasions when we put more than two passes together in sequence.

Then some more stuff happened and it was 5-0.

To be fair they had a few good players in key areas, especially their centre forward and midfield – so it’s hard to complain/blame ourselves too much. Perhaps we just got beat by a better side?
Saying that it did grate a little when they celebrated their fifth with the words “he takes sixteen seasons to score a goal for us, and then gets a second in the same game”

Positives for the Alliance – we all worked our arses off, and despite the score no-one stopped trying. Sanj deserves praise for some cracking saves and general all round performance and it doesn’t seem fair that after his first game in the goal for 16 years (5 a side doesn’t count) and some excellent saves he conceded 5. Oh well funny old game!

Gibbsy threw himself into everything and won some crucial balls at the back.
And Micah and Coyley gave options up front all game and ran hard.

MOM: Hudson – endless commitment without the malice (again), special mention to Paul for the same, Gibbsy and Sanj.

Post match news:

1) Dr Bernie reported on Dai’s injury;

A sore AC joint - had three hours in A&E after he left the game, he's alright but cant move his arm much - not sure he's going to be good for much over the next few weeks - rules his love making arm out any road! There is no evidence that Dr Bernie was referring to himself receiving (or for this week, not) the ‘love making arm’ despite some scandalous accusations in the media.

2) Henry survived his brush with hypothermia and looks forward to his next game on the 24th January

3) Simon is in Africa for work – but is popping into Gaza on the way back to have a word.

Iain.