Hey boys, hey girls (I doubt there are any girls but you've got to keep the dream alive somehow), another bollocks result, here we go...
We played like we'd sat in the toilet in the previous match jacking up on heroin, and were high on life, high on passing, high on the beautiful game and then the come down...or a game where we worked hard, held our own and then Smithy in goal made a couple of, frankly, match deciding errors. Neg.
Right, with the overly elaborate intro over with, we racked up with the aforementioned Smithy in goals, uncle Gibbsy at right back, Pete at left back, Dai and Matt B in the heart of the Alliance defence. Four lined up in midfield - the same of champions of our last victorious cup battle - Crouchy, Sunny D, Jeffrey and Steve and the gruesome two some of Watkins and Coyle up front. Hello world!
It was a competitive first half, some solid handling in goal, good communication at the back, a few scares but on the whole we held our own and continued passing the ball - perhaps a bit too much hollywood but it seemed to working. Eventually the breakthrough - Micah wrestled their centre back to the floor and was awarded a penalty. Paul made no mistake and we're 1-0 and it's half time. Well just before half time, an attach down the right, or maybe a corner half cleared then put back in. It's high and it's not going over the bar - the lights are getting in the way, I'm posing for the Alliance official photographer, Iain's mrs, and, and it's gone in the top corner. Half time 1-1.
At half time we were going to take them to the cleaners. We thought a few cars and a couple of piggy backs and we would have probably made 'Mighty Wash' on the Queens Town Road. We didnt even make the gates. Despite some decent stuff in the first half we were flat compared to last week. It showed in the second half. Calling 'keepers', running out and the ball deciding to poll volt me didnt help either as they headed in their second. The third came soon after - some hesistancy in defence, and I was beaten to the ball by their nippy winger and it's 3-1. We're ragged and they are offering us the bus fair to the cleaners. Ok, ok it's a wash out with the cleaning jokes. Boom boom.
We had a few chances, swapped it round a bit with Iain (on for Steve) and V (on for Pete), Dan had one turned over the bar from a corner from there frankly solid keeper. I've just remembered a clean through that Paul had in the first half that he saved well too. Paul should have scored mind. Ooh it could have been such a different game and it's all Paul's fault - which eases the pain my end.
We could argue that the game was curtailed by the people who run the pitches who called us off with a few minutes to go. But I think it was unlikely we were going to pull it back. So we settled for a team photo and pretended we had won.
We only had one true winner on the pitch (it wasnt Jeff who laughed when the first goal went in so it wasnt going to be him) this week on and off the pitch. Maybe we should all wear 'winnage' medals like Crouchy - check out his facebook site where you posted images of people you consider to be winners and he'll send you a medal. I know it's a bit gay but hey this is 2008. But to be honest Simon tracked back, won the ball on many occassions and then on most occassions distributed well too. Great stuff MOM to the big winner. Chris Kamara would be proud of you son.
A blow after a great cup win - but we'll be back. It's all about the ball - focus your minds, go to bed and dream of the football on astro turf. How the game should be played...
Team photos and individual shots available from Audus Photo Me Up.com starting at £25.99 plus VAT and delivery.
See you next week...
Monday 28 January 2008
Sunday 20 January 2008
Sunday 20th Jan: The Jokers in Big Cup at Market Road
I feel under pressure this week. I feel like I have an active readership but less content rich. Not being in goal means I was engaged in the Alliance fight as opposed to drifting off into the realm of fantasy my readership has come to know and well, come to know. Taking on board the comments from last week (although I note there's been only one post so far from Henry's old dear) I've made my lastest report slightly more succinct.
Right, where are we then? It's Sunday 20th Jan 2008. Yes 2008. Hello world! We're in the cup, a round robin, Champion's League style affair against The Jokers. We'd lost the first cup game, despite another good account of ourselves against Dynamo Camford, before Xmas. Lose this one and we'd only have to play 21 games this season - win and well, we've got a chance of being in the hat for the last...well however many. It's Market Road, dark, wet and windy. You probably wudnt.
We line up with Eddie in goal, a Smith at right back, Col, Gibbsy and Dai making up the back five with Dan and Crouchy in the centre of midfield. New Dad on the left, Steve on the right with Micah and 'Keegan, Keegan, Keegan' up front. Opposition The Jokers. Are you having a laugh? Not half.
We've got the wind and our manager, Mickey Love, as our ref. Surely we had to get the rub of the green? Now the wind definitely helped, no doubt about it but we are the Northern Alliance. Get down. And we so did. Up and down, left and right - passing to each other, working for each other. Something beautiful is happening at the moment - it's football with rocks in it.
The Jokers had their chances, we had a few scares as always but we remained composed (which doesnt always happen) and they scored. But it was offside. Phew! And then it happened (this James Blunt magic that is flowing through our hearts and minds at the moment). Goal. 1-0 to us. Now if you dont shoot you dont score - Micah had a few sighters including an overhead kick and the knees holding firm. This is where - again I'm a bit lose on detail - think Jeff, Paul and Simon may have been involved - I'm hazy. It was a good move, in the pocket. BANG. Another proper football goal.
Bloody hell, 5 paragraphs in and I've described one goal. We play some other great stuff - Jeff, Paul, Micah, Simon and Dan interchanging. Steve, working hard, intercepting and laying off to Smithy at full back who had the winger in the bag and was carrying the charge from defence to attack. Half time. Mickey's quietly gone about his business reffing possibly the cleanest game we've ever played in. (Nb Hudson take note)
Second half - we are the Northern Alliance. Get down. Like the Taliban, we were ready for war. Gibbsy applied the face paint to Dai and prepared for a battle. Didnt start that well, the paint hadnt dried before they put one in the net. 1-1. We dithered in defence possibly from a corner and a sharp finish put them back in the game. With the wind behind them it could have been down hill from here on in.
It was all one way traffic - corners, through balls, trickery. But did The Jokers bring the house down on the Alliance's resolve? Who was to have the last laugh? (It was a choice between 'last laugh' or something about punch lines)
The Jokers started leaving gaps, as Eddie saved well a number of times in the second half, the Alliance rose again. We started to get the rub in the tackle, and either Dan or Crouchy would carry it away to slot in Micah or Paul, or more often than not New Dad, who was ploughing a rather successful furrow down the left. It usually went Dan/Crouchy - crunch, carry away, Jeff, Paul, Micah, Paul, Simon, Jeff, Dave - interchanging like dervishes often leading to a genuine chance. Micah and Paul, often bullying their way to the front. Which I thought was rather unfair as they were such nice boys those Jokers. Another great interchange - you get the picture see three sentences above - and the ball finds its way to Paul on the right. He shoots (on target according to Paul), it deflects, it goes in. Something else that doesnt usually happen. Good passing karma I call it.
2-1. It's still tight and we've got 15 minutes to see out. But it could have been another half an hour as we broke again. Iain on for Steve, before he's even broked sweat he put on an inch perfect ball through to Smithy, bombing on from full back after beginning the move, to put across the face of goal but alas no one on the end but it was a great move. But something was coming...
By this time Iain has probably broken sweat but he's put through none the less, finishing with a plomb after another good move (good move is becoming synonymous with 'i can really remember but I do remember he took it well'). 3-1 and they are dead and buried. The refs getting a bit over zealous on the yards I'm stealing from the throw ins and Darty is chasing after a rizla paper on the touch line - jumping like a panzy in delight as he went - but the whistle goes and we've won in Big Cup. A win against Perfidious Albion and we have a chance of keeping the Alliance Big Cup dream alive and break the 21 game barrier!
MOM: I'm going for New Dad - kept running all day, used the ball well and knew when to carry it, and pipped anyone else by chasing back right into our corner flag, winning the ball, playing it to Colin, then receiving the ball back and breaking down the left. Chasing lost causes wins MOM awards. Remember that boys.
Quite, quite beautiful...Gibbsy and Mickey are in talks about an Alliance Big Cup Pop Single: Football with Rocks in it.
Toorah!
Right, where are we then? It's Sunday 20th Jan 2008. Yes 2008. Hello world! We're in the cup, a round robin, Champion's League style affair against The Jokers. We'd lost the first cup game, despite another good account of ourselves against Dynamo Camford, before Xmas. Lose this one and we'd only have to play 21 games this season - win and well, we've got a chance of being in the hat for the last...well however many. It's Market Road, dark, wet and windy. You probably wudnt.
We line up with Eddie in goal, a Smith at right back, Col, Gibbsy and Dai making up the back five with Dan and Crouchy in the centre of midfield. New Dad on the left, Steve on the right with Micah and 'Keegan, Keegan, Keegan' up front. Opposition The Jokers. Are you having a laugh? Not half.
We've got the wind and our manager, Mickey Love, as our ref. Surely we had to get the rub of the green? Now the wind definitely helped, no doubt about it but we are the Northern Alliance. Get down. And we so did. Up and down, left and right - passing to each other, working for each other. Something beautiful is happening at the moment - it's football with rocks in it.
The Jokers had their chances, we had a few scares as always but we remained composed (which doesnt always happen) and they scored. But it was offside. Phew! And then it happened (this James Blunt magic that is flowing through our hearts and minds at the moment). Goal. 1-0 to us. Now if you dont shoot you dont score - Micah had a few sighters including an overhead kick and the knees holding firm. This is where - again I'm a bit lose on detail - think Jeff, Paul and Simon may have been involved - I'm hazy. It was a good move, in the pocket. BANG. Another proper football goal.
Bloody hell, 5 paragraphs in and I've described one goal. We play some other great stuff - Jeff, Paul, Micah, Simon and Dan interchanging. Steve, working hard, intercepting and laying off to Smithy at full back who had the winger in the bag and was carrying the charge from defence to attack. Half time. Mickey's quietly gone about his business reffing possibly the cleanest game we've ever played in. (Nb Hudson take note)
Second half - we are the Northern Alliance. Get down. Like the Taliban, we were ready for war. Gibbsy applied the face paint to Dai and prepared for a battle. Didnt start that well, the paint hadnt dried before they put one in the net. 1-1. We dithered in defence possibly from a corner and a sharp finish put them back in the game. With the wind behind them it could have been down hill from here on in.
It was all one way traffic - corners, through balls, trickery. But did The Jokers bring the house down on the Alliance's resolve? Who was to have the last laugh? (It was a choice between 'last laugh' or something about punch lines)
The Jokers started leaving gaps, as Eddie saved well a number of times in the second half, the Alliance rose again. We started to get the rub in the tackle, and either Dan or Crouchy would carry it away to slot in Micah or Paul, or more often than not New Dad, who was ploughing a rather successful furrow down the left. It usually went Dan/Crouchy - crunch, carry away, Jeff, Paul, Micah, Paul, Simon, Jeff, Dave - interchanging like dervishes often leading to a genuine chance. Micah and Paul, often bullying their way to the front. Which I thought was rather unfair as they were such nice boys those Jokers. Another great interchange - you get the picture see three sentences above - and the ball finds its way to Paul on the right. He shoots (on target according to Paul), it deflects, it goes in. Something else that doesnt usually happen. Good passing karma I call it.
2-1. It's still tight and we've got 15 minutes to see out. But it could have been another half an hour as we broke again. Iain on for Steve, before he's even broked sweat he put on an inch perfect ball through to Smithy, bombing on from full back after beginning the move, to put across the face of goal but alas no one on the end but it was a great move. But something was coming...
By this time Iain has probably broken sweat but he's put through none the less, finishing with a plomb after another good move (good move is becoming synonymous with 'i can really remember but I do remember he took it well'). 3-1 and they are dead and buried. The refs getting a bit over zealous on the yards I'm stealing from the throw ins and Darty is chasing after a rizla paper on the touch line - jumping like a panzy in delight as he went - but the whistle goes and we've won in Big Cup. A win against Perfidious Albion and we have a chance of keeping the Alliance Big Cup dream alive and break the 21 game barrier!
MOM: I'm going for New Dad - kept running all day, used the ball well and knew when to carry it, and pipped anyone else by chasing back right into our corner flag, winning the ball, playing it to Colin, then receiving the ball back and breaking down the left. Chasing lost causes wins MOM awards. Remember that boys.
Quite, quite beautiful...Gibbsy and Mickey are in talks about an Alliance Big Cup Pop Single: Football with Rocks in it.
Toorah!
Monday 14 January 2008
Sunday 13th January 2008: Green Park Rangers Away
The first post of this monumental occassion here we go. Sit back and put your feet up. They dont write prose like this anymore...
So it's the second week in January2008, we've more or less got a full team plus three subs. Gorgeous Georges, an original, even showed his face on a trip across from the West Country. It's Battersea - this means we have 1 hr 30 minute pitch bookings and if I tell everyone the right time, we'll start late and not get a full game in. So I told you suckers an hour before to make sure we were there and mentally prepared. Apologies to those who were on time!
After an unusually rousing team talk from yours truly, we opted for a 4-3-3 formation, welcoming Gorgeous back for the first time in 3 years into his right back position and new boy Jessy, a mate of Gibbsy's, into midfield. Husdon, V and Paul up front, a midfield of Dan, Jeff and Jessy plus a back four of Colin, Gorgeous, Dai and Gibbsy. With a Smith in goal. We were properly set up.
Things didnt start well - a frantic start led to us conceding reasonably early on. It swirled around high (and I thought handsome) in the air and straight into the top corner. It was another case of happening to be standing on chewing gum in goal again. 0-1. 0-2 followed shortly. A dubious free kick from an increasingly dubious ref led to a good header in the box and me wrong footed again. Neg.
But we werent fazed, we stuck to our plan of leaving ourselves short at the back and bombing forward willy nilly. And fair play we had some chances and played, at times, some decent stuff. Gorgeous, matured with age, carrying the ball nearly comfortably down the wing. The midfield interchanging wit Jessy pulling the strings and eventually we found a way back. A few blocked shots, I think on the edge of the area, and then a crisp finish from V to put us back in it.
Now for their third - I'm not sure if I've already described it or not, I'm mixed up between the 2nd and 3rd goal - oh the beauty of the blog - someone can jump in on their lunch break and perhaps give an accurate account. Anyway 1-3 and we're back to basics. At this point I think Dan scores with a decent finish and it's 3-2 and we ended the half the strongest with V chipping the keeper and narrowly putting the ball over which was really unfortunate as it was a great effort. We finished the half stronger mentally but as The Body had come on just before half-time we werent actually stronger. Hudson, who had typically been the natural aggressor and harasser for most of the first half, did his toe in a freak accident but he won a corner and we may have scored from it or have I got that wrong too? An ambulence was called. Half-time.
With The Body on up front for Hudson we were going to feed off him (there's a gag there but I've ripped him enough, I want to rile him enough to put his own post on!) and pull ourselves back into the game. We were playing some great stuff, passing it to each other on the deck and everything and they were losing their way. Until Dai pulled off an excellent tackle clearly taking the ball and the ref blew his whistle for a penalty. The opposition didnt think it was either. Up stepped their striker, gave me the eyes (I gave them back, as I had my own, and didnt want another set) and put the ball to my right. It was a sh*t penalty and I made, in fact I made it so easy I lost concentration (and found myself in an Alan Partridge dream sequence), next thing I know it's in the onion bag and we're 4-2 down and Henry's in the hockey goal, behind our goal, crying.
Now it's not the easiest thing in the world, trying to play in goal when 1, you are not a goal keeper and 2, you've not spent a great deal of time pondering what sort of questions you can ask a little bloke who says 'yes' rather infrequently. So I tried what I thought would be a fairly standard one - 'can you see daddy playing football?' Still crying but I've made a save and kicked the ball up field. I think we may have scored at some point 3-2 (Jeff put his baby pictures down and finished very well, scoring the sort of goal that never really seems to come off for us) but the floodbanks had opened behind the goal. And asking Henry 'So then, what did you do for Christmas?' didnt really help matters. He's looking at me like 'I'm 18 months old and I say 'yes' infrequently, what do you want from me??!! Jeez Bern, throw me a bone.' Luckily I brought it round with 'did you get a lot of Christmas presents?' He said 'yes', brightened up, probably falling into some magical dream, waking up to a fat Santa, who looks strangely familiar, laying out a load of teddies. It probably didnt happen like that but I like to think it did.
So we're 3-4 down, if you are still following this, and it stays like this for some time. We're knocking on the door and causing them problems, with some great stuff in the middle of the park. The sum of the parts and all that. Unfortunately, a spare part, The Body, had a great chance which look like he fluffed but he cant of because it went for a corner. We went close a few times. Dai's landed on his hand and is pulling rather amusing gibs just outside the area so eventually I end his pain and brought on Hectar at centre back, and took Colin, who put in another quietly consistent performance at left back, off for Iain to push four in midfield. This stretched us at the back, with Gibbsy doing running for about three players at times, but we werent going to Dai wondering in this game. By heck us like!
Next up - we give away a stonewall penalty, we all knew it apart from the ref. He wasnt looking but gave it anyway. So round 2 of eye swapping ensues with me and Kev the striker. Tries to give me them again and this time hits the bar. Scramble. They reacted first and scored from the re-bound. Again I thought I could have done better. 3-5 and we know it's over. So, stretched again we let another one in and finish, rather unfairly, 3-6 to them. But a really good, clean game (probably because Hudson went off before half time) and Paul really only had the wind to criticise by the end (as one of their players pointed out 'we dont control the wind', which was frankly fair enough I thought).
So after all that, what did we learn? We can play football, we can score, and at times play as a team. We left with our head's held high - a passionate performance of which we should all be proud.
MOM - well there were so many - I think a shared ownership between Dan and Gibbsy this week. And a mention to Gorgeous for his first 11 a side game in 3 years, great finish by V who was unlucky to get a second (although he couldnt hit a barn door in the second half) and Jessy, very nifty feet with composure. If only we had 11 Jessys I thought after the game. Then I looked at the team sheet and realised we did! Boom Boom!
Catch y'all next time folks!
So it's the second week in January2008, we've more or less got a full team plus three subs. Gorgeous Georges, an original, even showed his face on a trip across from the West Country. It's Battersea - this means we have 1 hr 30 minute pitch bookings and if I tell everyone the right time, we'll start late and not get a full game in. So I told you suckers an hour before to make sure we were there and mentally prepared. Apologies to those who were on time!
After an unusually rousing team talk from yours truly, we opted for a 4-3-3 formation, welcoming Gorgeous back for the first time in 3 years into his right back position and new boy Jessy, a mate of Gibbsy's, into midfield. Husdon, V and Paul up front, a midfield of Dan, Jeff and Jessy plus a back four of Colin, Gorgeous, Dai and Gibbsy. With a Smith in goal. We were properly set up.
Things didnt start well - a frantic start led to us conceding reasonably early on. It swirled around high (and I thought handsome) in the air and straight into the top corner. It was another case of happening to be standing on chewing gum in goal again. 0-1. 0-2 followed shortly. A dubious free kick from an increasingly dubious ref led to a good header in the box and me wrong footed again. Neg.
But we werent fazed, we stuck to our plan of leaving ourselves short at the back and bombing forward willy nilly. And fair play we had some chances and played, at times, some decent stuff. Gorgeous, matured with age, carrying the ball nearly comfortably down the wing. The midfield interchanging wit Jessy pulling the strings and eventually we found a way back. A few blocked shots, I think on the edge of the area, and then a crisp finish from V to put us back in it.
Now for their third - I'm not sure if I've already described it or not, I'm mixed up between the 2nd and 3rd goal - oh the beauty of the blog - someone can jump in on their lunch break and perhaps give an accurate account. Anyway 1-3 and we're back to basics. At this point I think Dan scores with a decent finish and it's 3-2 and we ended the half the strongest with V chipping the keeper and narrowly putting the ball over which was really unfortunate as it was a great effort. We finished the half stronger mentally but as The Body had come on just before half-time we werent actually stronger. Hudson, who had typically been the natural aggressor and harasser for most of the first half, did his toe in a freak accident but he won a corner and we may have scored from it or have I got that wrong too? An ambulence was called. Half-time.
With The Body on up front for Hudson we were going to feed off him (there's a gag there but I've ripped him enough, I want to rile him enough to put his own post on!) and pull ourselves back into the game. We were playing some great stuff, passing it to each other on the deck and everything and they were losing their way. Until Dai pulled off an excellent tackle clearly taking the ball and the ref blew his whistle for a penalty. The opposition didnt think it was either. Up stepped their striker, gave me the eyes (I gave them back, as I had my own, and didnt want another set) and put the ball to my right. It was a sh*t penalty and I made, in fact I made it so easy I lost concentration (and found myself in an Alan Partridge dream sequence), next thing I know it's in the onion bag and we're 4-2 down and Henry's in the hockey goal, behind our goal, crying.
Now it's not the easiest thing in the world, trying to play in goal when 1, you are not a goal keeper and 2, you've not spent a great deal of time pondering what sort of questions you can ask a little bloke who says 'yes' rather infrequently. So I tried what I thought would be a fairly standard one - 'can you see daddy playing football?' Still crying but I've made a save and kicked the ball up field. I think we may have scored at some point 3-2 (Jeff put his baby pictures down and finished very well, scoring the sort of goal that never really seems to come off for us) but the floodbanks had opened behind the goal. And asking Henry 'So then, what did you do for Christmas?' didnt really help matters. He's looking at me like 'I'm 18 months old and I say 'yes' infrequently, what do you want from me??!! Jeez Bern, throw me a bone.' Luckily I brought it round with 'did you get a lot of Christmas presents?' He said 'yes', brightened up, probably falling into some magical dream, waking up to a fat Santa, who looks strangely familiar, laying out a load of teddies. It probably didnt happen like that but I like to think it did.
So we're 3-4 down, if you are still following this, and it stays like this for some time. We're knocking on the door and causing them problems, with some great stuff in the middle of the park. The sum of the parts and all that. Unfortunately, a spare part, The Body, had a great chance which look like he fluffed but he cant of because it went for a corner. We went close a few times. Dai's landed on his hand and is pulling rather amusing gibs just outside the area so eventually I end his pain and brought on Hectar at centre back, and took Colin, who put in another quietly consistent performance at left back, off for Iain to push four in midfield. This stretched us at the back, with Gibbsy doing running for about three players at times, but we werent going to Dai wondering in this game. By heck us like!
Next up - we give away a stonewall penalty, we all knew it apart from the ref. He wasnt looking but gave it anyway. So round 2 of eye swapping ensues with me and Kev the striker. Tries to give me them again and this time hits the bar. Scramble. They reacted first and scored from the re-bound. Again I thought I could have done better. 3-5 and we know it's over. So, stretched again we let another one in and finish, rather unfairly, 3-6 to them. But a really good, clean game (probably because Hudson went off before half time) and Paul really only had the wind to criticise by the end (as one of their players pointed out 'we dont control the wind', which was frankly fair enough I thought).
So after all that, what did we learn? We can play football, we can score, and at times play as a team. We left with our head's held high - a passionate performance of which we should all be proud.
MOM - well there were so many - I think a shared ownership between Dan and Gibbsy this week. And a mention to Gorgeous for his first 11 a side game in 3 years, great finish by V who was unlucky to get a second (although he couldnt hit a barn door in the second half) and Jessy, very nifty feet with composure. If only we had 11 Jessys I thought after the game. Then I looked at the team sheet and realised we did! Boom Boom!
Catch y'all next time folks!
We are the Northern Alliance
Right you are you boys, fc uk Facebook it's so 2007, we're entering the information super highway via the means of a blog which means anyone in the team can enter what they like about the team, it's displays and thoughts on anything from disco dancing to dragons and everything in between. I'll post the match reports up and people can make their comments should they wish. You can probably post pictures so Jeff, another proud father, can show everyone his 97 photos of his son, JD. Also long-term mysterious illness victim Chris G Martin has asked his mrs of 10 yrs to marry him. So we may soon have a full youth set up with a back four in our youth team of junior ketchell, romeo, monahan and gorgeous, plus a quartet of little Gibbsys across the midfield. And a junior Edwardo in goal. It's just a good job we've changed refs these days!
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