By St Dai himself, sure to be cumming down your chimney this Christmas...
What sort of Christmas would it be without an Alliance Christmas shindig? Well, I’ll leave those of you who couldn’t make this particular festive knees-up to ponder that and ask yourselves if you’re the poorer for it. If, having thought about it, the answer still escapes you, let me point you in the right direction: I think it’s akin to Butch without Cassidy, Cannon without Ball, Crankie without the other smaller Crankie – you know, the one that’s actually a bird. In short, it’s a gaping chasm on your social calendar.
So, to the 4th or 5th annual Alliance Christmas Do. In a departure from tradition that had blood at boiling point amongst the self-styled ‘old-guard’, the Thames Tandoori at Waterloo was shunned in preference of a trip up North (though not to the grim-oop-north North where Celtic band tattoos have recently been ditched in preference for a Nick Ketchell varicose vein motif). It was a brave move by Social Secretary Crouch that took an almost exclusively South-residing team to Finsbury Park Bowling Alley, but the promise of a late night extremist meeting in the nearby mosque quickly put paid to any sense of uprising. Coyley’d brought a head scarf and everything.
First to the lanes were Bernie, Steve, Formerly-disgraced Captain Coyle, Iain, Crouchie and Dai. A quick tussle with the in-lane computer and a scout around for suitable balls – Bernie was particularly thorough in this – and we were away. Iain, Simon and Steve started solidly enough, Bernie got an early strike (no I didn’t I was useless, ed.), Coyley was reining in his competitive instincts whilst I booted my first ball into touch and over the fence. Well out Dai.
After some early jostling, the table started to sort itself out. Iain and Simon were looking good for Europe, Steve was safe in mid-table, whilst Bernie and Coyley had started negotiations to bring in Ron Atkinson and Joe Kinnear respectively as the fans started to turn against them. Dai, meantime, was looking good for top-spot as he bored everyone to death with a series of solid if unspectacular spares. I’ll be honest and say that I was hoping for greater fuss and comment about my technique, but that’s an all too familiar story.
Little had changed by the end of Game 1. Crouchie had attempted some outrageous spin bowling – to cries of ‘chucker’ – and Iain had attempted a spirited dash for top-spot only to fall short. Bernie had managed to bowl 4 consecutive balls without knocking over a single pin and Paul had resorted to scaring the shit out of the pins in an attempt to climb his way back up the table. If memory serves, the two-footed challenge on the king-pin was particularly out of order. Still, at least he didn’t actually ‘strike’ anything. (Thanks – ed.)
High drama before Game 2 as some people went to the bar. Shortly afterwards Bernie unveiled the evening’s special guests. Enter our midfield general Dan Monahan, Chairman ‘Listen, I was never actually charged with anything’ Malice and Chris ‘I’m bang up for every game this season’ Ketchell. Two of the three 3 newcomers stepped in to replace Game 1’s ‘Turkeys’ (Crouchie – are you having that?) and we were off again.
After only a few frames it was apparent that two key battles were emerging: Iain and Simon were going head-to-head in the Bureau Vertias Plate Competition whilst Dan and Dai were trading strikes and spares at will at the top of the table. At the bottom end of the table, Paul was nearing suspension for 5 yellow cards and Ketch was clearly distracted by the fact that he hadn’t got his buttons quite right after ripping his shirt open in an earlier celebration. None of this was helping Dan and Dai who had gone into big game mode: cold towels, psychotic stares and headphones on in-between frames.
We could scarcely have asked for more drama in the final analysis. It’s what makes Big Game Bowling so enthralling. As Dai and Dan traded punches (Paul traded punches with a nearby 7-year old who had ‘looked at him funny, like’) the tension mounted and interest in the game grew. Two gladiators in their coliseum watched by Simon, and intermittently by Iain and Steve in-between fag breaks. But what drama was to come?
With two balls left, Dan needed to knock all 10 down to win…
“He’d have taken that if you’d asked him before kick-off…” mumbled Alan Parry.
“Cometh the hour, cometh the man…” said Martin Tyler.
“10 pins from glory. And boy, 10 lords will leap if he makes this” eulogised Peter Drury.
“To me. To you” croaked Barry Chuckle.
And, despite having rolled his sleeves up, he missed.
No matter, the night wasn’t done yet. From there on to Carnaby Street for some more ale and then to stand outside Strawberry Moon’s for 20 minutes. The reasons for this are still unclear, but the decision to give-up and move on prompted unanimous cries of “Well, it’s f*cking a car crash of a place anyway”. Or maybe that was just me.
And then there were 5. Crouchie, Bernie, Dan, Paul and Dai – hang on, let me count that again. Five, definitely – headed for Brixton with the promise of more revelry and the outside possibility of a knifing.
It was half hour or so before we really found our feet in Brixton and then – if it’s possible – it was because we took up arms. Still smarting from narrow defeat in the bowling and with machismo coarsing through every sinew, Dan suggested an arm-wrestle. Early money went on Dan and Paul, Simon and Dai were sensibly over-looked, whilst at the off more money had been put on Bernie to be Christmas No. 1 than be arm-wrestling champion. (As it turned out, ‘Reet fit arse’ by Bernie & Mickey featuring Gary Glitter failed to get general release, though you it should still be available at www.glittermyarse.com).
In an early round, Simon beat Paul – or maybe Paul beat Simon – whilst Bernie showed his hand by putting Dai to the sword (he was later reinstated after using a sword was found to be within the rules Coyley was playing by). Bernie went on to put up good showings against the others, earning himself the nickname ‘The Arm’. By now the penny had dropped and no-one could quite believe how it was that we hadn’t imagined Bernie to have at least one giant forearm.
And so to the final. Coyle vs. Monahan. It went on for 3.5 hours and – isn’t it always the way? – as I went to get beers and hot-dogs when it finished, I can’t remember who won. I think it was Dan. Yes, it was Dan. There were definitely 2 dead on-lookers when I returned which I took to mean that Coyley had probably been defeated. Two more dead on the way to the next pub too. Carnage on the streets of London.
The night was drawing to a close but there was still time for a few rounds of shots, some circular, arm-in-arm dancing to Sheriff Fatman by Carter USM, and for Dai and Coyley to plot an unlikely coup to overthrow Bernie and sell the club on eBay. There was also time for Bernie to claim that he would “definitely take some dirt home tonight”. And still time for him to fail. Not there Bernie.
So, to sum up? Christmas comes but once a year and with nights like this, more’s the pity. Man of match awards to everyone who turned up and I’ll leave you with the words of Noddy Holder: “It is better to have bowled and lost than never to have bowled at all.”
Happy Christmas.
Forza Alliance.
Dai.
PS from the ed.
As is always the case, the evening was spoilt slightly at the end – 5 crazy, testosterone fuelled dogs made for home after a victorious KFC dinner. Only for Dai to throw his coke, in an act which can only be described as totally g*y, over the once spotlessly clean restaurant floor. I wouldnt have minded if it had been an act of valiance against the inane uniformity of everything the KFC brand stands for. But we all know that will have been cleaned up by an illegal immigrant on less than minimum wage later that evening. He knew he’d done wrong as soon as he’d done it. Suddenly the early evening bowling victory didn’t seem such a victory after all.
Merry Christmas.
BS
Tuesday 23 December 2008
Sunday 16 November 2008
15 November: Shanty Town (h): Clapham Common: League
After an absurdly bad result a week and a half ago in the cup, it was time to put some points on the board against Shanty Town at our new (for now) home ground of Clapham Common. I have happy memories of beating this lot last season, so even the dark barn that passes for changing rooms in Clapham couldn’t dampen the pre-match spirits.
The pitch was small, narrow, slightly sloping and with one goal about 25 yards in front of a busy road. Oh, and we had to frig around putting the nets up. So far I’m unimpressed with the new home ground.
Paul rounded us up for the team talk and steered clear from any mice-and-men literary symbolism this week. “We can beat these. Our luck’s got to change some time” was the long and short of it. So we line up with Eddy between the sticks, a back four of Bernie, Dan, Ketch and Chris; myself (Pete), Hudson, Simon and Ian across the middle; and Captain Coyley paired with Medge up front.
Early on we had the wind in our sails (and behind Eddy’s goal kicks) and were giving the blue-clad Shanty Town a fair bit to think about. Their subs set the team stall out early (metaphorically: it wasn’t a bring-and-buy sale) by whingeing and moaning about every tackle, and every decision by referee John. Speaking of John, when he arrived for the match the first thing he asked was “is Hudson here?” and then later recommended we get a large pot of vaseline for the first aid kit. Draw your own conclusions.
Back on the pitch, our early pressure paid off after Medge was brought down in their box. In spite of Town’s hysterics, John awarded a penalty and Paul coolly converted. 1-0. This kick up the arse gave the opposition renewed focus and they began giving us all sorts of problems, not least cos of our hopeless inability to win anything in the air. “Free header” they all chorused at each other after every goal kick. Our lead was short lived – a decent attacking move left our defence a man short and their lanky forward lobbed neatly over Eddy’s outstretched glove. 1-1 and all the chat is coming from the blue half of the pitch.
The remaining 15 minutes of the half continued in a similar vein – we gave the ball away cheaply, failed to win it back, they harried and pushed forward, using Fatty Fudge on the wing to sling in Rory Delap-style long throws. The exact details escape me but they put the ball in our net twice more before John blew for half time. 3-1 to them. Ian tried to whip up enthusiasm by shouting “heads up Alliance” as we trudged off, but I couldn’t help noticing he was staring disconsolately at the ground as he said it. We were all pretty dejected, except Paul who was apoplectic with fury that we were – once again – staring at defeat by an unimpressive and annoying opposition. No tactical changes were made (despite Bernie’s innovative suggestion we go 4-3-4) but 5 minutes soul searching evidently had some effect, as we came back after the restart looking a more purposeful side. Colin came on at left back, with Chris moving over to the right in place of Bernie.
We were clearly hungrier for goals in the 2nd half, and after less than 10 minutes we got our just desserts. A ball towards their goal (corner? Can’t remember) rattled around the box, bounced off me at the far post and Dan pounced, slotting home from close range. 3-2, game on.
Ian came off for Micah as the Alliance took a more attacking formation. Medge was causing their defence all sorts of problems, dancing round players at will, but never quite getting the final ball – despite coming close with a long-range drive that just swerved outside the top corner. Hudson had taken command of the middle of the park and was winning everything. It was tempting to think we were the only team in it, but Shanty Town were still pressing for another – a heroic , diving finger tip save by Eddy kept us in the game.
Ketch had put a couple of useful mid-field free kicks into dangerous areas, and if memory serves it was from one of these that we finally pulled level. The ball dropped into their box and Paul (I think) laid it off towards Hudson, galloping in from the middle third. He struck it hard and low from about 20 yards and the keeper had no chance. Cue wild celebrations from the Alliance. 3 all, from being 3-1 down, and we looked the better team.
Tensions were rising: the Alliance could taste victory and Shanty Town were clearly bitterly frustrated to have lost the lead. We were in the ascendancy when Dan challenged for a high ball and clashed heads with one of their players. Unfortunately this resulted in a split eyebrow and John was not happy to let Dan continue without bandaging. Perhaps worth having some plasters in the first aid kit eh lads? After hunting for bandages for about 5 minutes the game restarted with Dan watching from the sidelines and – all our subs being used already – the Alliance down to 10 men.
This was real edge-of-the-seat stuff: 11 men versus 10, 3-3 and 10 minutes to go. Steve – who had come on in place of Simon – made some important tackles, but mis-timed one of them by about 5 minutes and found his name in the book. On another day John would probably have overlooked it, but Shanty were moaning and carping so much the atmosphere had become explosive.
And so it was almost inevitable that Paul – so madly keen to secure a vital win – should put in an ever-so-slightly questionable challenge on one of their players. Well, I say questionable; you could say it was questionable whether the lad on the receiving end knew what hit him. You could even say he didn’t have the ball at the time, and that the tackle was more like a karate kick than any recognisable footballing manoeuvre. I can’t be sure personally, my view was obscured by the red mist that had descended over the pitch. Referee John was a bit affected by the heady circumstances, and gave Paul a straight red card. I didn’t even think he carried a red card. Maybe he’s just recently bought it and wanted to show it off.
In any case, the outlook of the game had changed dramatically within 5 minutes, as we were now 9 men, missing 2 of our strongest players. Frankly I still thought we could win it but Bernie, Simon and Ian sagely advised from the sidelines that we should play the clock down and defend like our lives depended on it. From the mood Paul was in as he left the pitch, our lives probably did depend on it a bit.
Unbelievably John still says there’s 10 minutes left, so we get men behind the ball and try to keep our composure. But their 2 man advantage shows as we struggle to keep possession, with only Medge up front to hoof the ball to. Mercifully, John does us an almighty favour when their man is blatantly brought down on the edge of our box, and instead of awarding a penalty, he gives us a free kick for the Shanty Towner diving! Bless him.
Shanty Town’s frustration at not finding a way through was tangible, but we defended bravely and desperately and the closest they came was when their substituted right winger struck well wide, the ball flying past the ear of a passing cyclist. A few tense minutes later and John finally blew the full time whistle, to the relief of the Northern Alliance and frustration of Shanty Town.
To paraphrase Mr Kipling, we kept our heads while all around were losing theirs and, which is more my son, held on to an exceedingly good point. It ended 3-3, but after being 3-1 down and playing the last 10 minutes with 9 men, plus coming on the back of an 8-0 defeat, it felt like a famous victory.
Several contenders for M-O-M but I’m going to go for Hudson. Great battling second half performance, and excellent goal to pull the scores level. Hats off.
Pete
The pitch was small, narrow, slightly sloping and with one goal about 25 yards in front of a busy road. Oh, and we had to frig around putting the nets up. So far I’m unimpressed with the new home ground.
Paul rounded us up for the team talk and steered clear from any mice-and-men literary symbolism this week. “We can beat these. Our luck’s got to change some time” was the long and short of it. So we line up with Eddy between the sticks, a back four of Bernie, Dan, Ketch and Chris; myself (Pete), Hudson, Simon and Ian across the middle; and Captain Coyley paired with Medge up front.
Early on we had the wind in our sails (and behind Eddy’s goal kicks) and were giving the blue-clad Shanty Town a fair bit to think about. Their subs set the team stall out early (metaphorically: it wasn’t a bring-and-buy sale) by whingeing and moaning about every tackle, and every decision by referee John. Speaking of John, when he arrived for the match the first thing he asked was “is Hudson here?” and then later recommended we get a large pot of vaseline for the first aid kit. Draw your own conclusions.
Back on the pitch, our early pressure paid off after Medge was brought down in their box. In spite of Town’s hysterics, John awarded a penalty and Paul coolly converted. 1-0. This kick up the arse gave the opposition renewed focus and they began giving us all sorts of problems, not least cos of our hopeless inability to win anything in the air. “Free header” they all chorused at each other after every goal kick. Our lead was short lived – a decent attacking move left our defence a man short and their lanky forward lobbed neatly over Eddy’s outstretched glove. 1-1 and all the chat is coming from the blue half of the pitch.
The remaining 15 minutes of the half continued in a similar vein – we gave the ball away cheaply, failed to win it back, they harried and pushed forward, using Fatty Fudge on the wing to sling in Rory Delap-style long throws. The exact details escape me but they put the ball in our net twice more before John blew for half time. 3-1 to them. Ian tried to whip up enthusiasm by shouting “heads up Alliance” as we trudged off, but I couldn’t help noticing he was staring disconsolately at the ground as he said it. We were all pretty dejected, except Paul who was apoplectic with fury that we were – once again – staring at defeat by an unimpressive and annoying opposition. No tactical changes were made (despite Bernie’s innovative suggestion we go 4-3-4) but 5 minutes soul searching evidently had some effect, as we came back after the restart looking a more purposeful side. Colin came on at left back, with Chris moving over to the right in place of Bernie.
We were clearly hungrier for goals in the 2nd half, and after less than 10 minutes we got our just desserts. A ball towards their goal (corner? Can’t remember) rattled around the box, bounced off me at the far post and Dan pounced, slotting home from close range. 3-2, game on.
Ian came off for Micah as the Alliance took a more attacking formation. Medge was causing their defence all sorts of problems, dancing round players at will, but never quite getting the final ball – despite coming close with a long-range drive that just swerved outside the top corner. Hudson had taken command of the middle of the park and was winning everything. It was tempting to think we were the only team in it, but Shanty Town were still pressing for another – a heroic , diving finger tip save by Eddy kept us in the game.
Ketch had put a couple of useful mid-field free kicks into dangerous areas, and if memory serves it was from one of these that we finally pulled level. The ball dropped into their box and Paul (I think) laid it off towards Hudson, galloping in from the middle third. He struck it hard and low from about 20 yards and the keeper had no chance. Cue wild celebrations from the Alliance. 3 all, from being 3-1 down, and we looked the better team.
Tensions were rising: the Alliance could taste victory and Shanty Town were clearly bitterly frustrated to have lost the lead. We were in the ascendancy when Dan challenged for a high ball and clashed heads with one of their players. Unfortunately this resulted in a split eyebrow and John was not happy to let Dan continue without bandaging. Perhaps worth having some plasters in the first aid kit eh lads? After hunting for bandages for about 5 minutes the game restarted with Dan watching from the sidelines and – all our subs being used already – the Alliance down to 10 men.
This was real edge-of-the-seat stuff: 11 men versus 10, 3-3 and 10 minutes to go. Steve – who had come on in place of Simon – made some important tackles, but mis-timed one of them by about 5 minutes and found his name in the book. On another day John would probably have overlooked it, but Shanty were moaning and carping so much the atmosphere had become explosive.
And so it was almost inevitable that Paul – so madly keen to secure a vital win – should put in an ever-so-slightly questionable challenge on one of their players. Well, I say questionable; you could say it was questionable whether the lad on the receiving end knew what hit him. You could even say he didn’t have the ball at the time, and that the tackle was more like a karate kick than any recognisable footballing manoeuvre. I can’t be sure personally, my view was obscured by the red mist that had descended over the pitch. Referee John was a bit affected by the heady circumstances, and gave Paul a straight red card. I didn’t even think he carried a red card. Maybe he’s just recently bought it and wanted to show it off.
In any case, the outlook of the game had changed dramatically within 5 minutes, as we were now 9 men, missing 2 of our strongest players. Frankly I still thought we could win it but Bernie, Simon and Ian sagely advised from the sidelines that we should play the clock down and defend like our lives depended on it. From the mood Paul was in as he left the pitch, our lives probably did depend on it a bit.
Unbelievably John still says there’s 10 minutes left, so we get men behind the ball and try to keep our composure. But their 2 man advantage shows as we struggle to keep possession, with only Medge up front to hoof the ball to. Mercifully, John does us an almighty favour when their man is blatantly brought down on the edge of our box, and instead of awarding a penalty, he gives us a free kick for the Shanty Towner diving! Bless him.
Shanty Town’s frustration at not finding a way through was tangible, but we defended bravely and desperately and the closest they came was when their substituted right winger struck well wide, the ball flying past the ear of a passing cyclist. A few tense minutes later and John finally blew the full time whistle, to the relief of the Northern Alliance and frustration of Shanty Town.
To paraphrase Mr Kipling, we kept our heads while all around were losing theirs and, which is more my son, held on to an exceedingly good point. It ended 3-3, but after being 3-1 down and playing the last 10 minutes with 9 men, plus coming on the back of an 8-0 defeat, it felt like a famous victory.
Several contenders for M-O-M but I’m going to go for Hudson. Great battling second half performance, and excellent goal to pull the scores level. Hats off.
Pete
Friday 7 November 2008
05 November 2008: Fowlers (a) in Thames League Big Cup
Profundity from every orafice with Uncle Gibbsy, enjoy:
Remember, remember the 5th of November?, no, no, please, I don’t want to, I want to block it out, I want to bury it deep down and let it shrivel up and die in some inky black, never ventured down cul -de- sac of my brain, a place where no one goes, ever. No, it wasn’t a good night.
It started ominously enough - as we warmed up on the court next to the pitch there were warning shots rocketing across our bows, bright flashing red lights, screams and sirens - how could we have ignored such blatant signs so casually? But we did, and like many things that occurred later in the evening, our inability to exercise our ‘vision’ facility must be something we should take extremely seriously.
So then we’re on the pitch, and we dick around as usual waiting for the get go, and out of the corner of my eye I see them. Smugly organised in their freshly squeezed hi-viz yellow, they’re gently yet sycophantically applauding each player as they name their squad, jolly good show Nigel..clap, clap, clap, hmmm.
Coyley pull us up for our chat and whos playing where and its feeling good, we’ve a strong squad and everyone looks up for it. But then theres the uncharacteristic use of deep metaphors from our warrior Captain Coyle - the ‘mice and men’ team talk. Well now, based on the ‘vision’ theory outlined earlier, flashing red lights etc, more warning signs are now flashing. Heres the gist of it, ‘Of Mice and Men’ was a John Steinbeck novel about two ill fated migrant field workers in California during the Great Depression, George Milton, the smart one, and Lennie Small, an ironically named man of large stature and immense strength but limited mental abilities. They venture out West to stake out some farmland and live out their dream. The dream crashes when Lennie (massive but not very clever) accidentally kills the young and attractive wife of a ranch owner's son, while trying to stroke her hair, much to hard, like he did already with his pet mouse (aha, theres the ‘mice’ ref). So then a lynch mob gathers and George (the clever small one), realizing he is doomed to a life of loneliness and despair like the rest of the migrant workers decides to be a man and spare Lennie a painful death at the hands of the vengeful and violent ranchers, so he shoots Lennie in the back of the head before the mob can find him. So, if you’ve bothered to read to the end of this bit, the moral of the Mice and Men tale is that the best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry, as did ours, but also if you stroke things to hard they squish up in yer fist, and finally that a bullet in the back of the head would probably have been preferable to 8 nil. So how prophetic was our Cap, scary huh? We should have seen it coming.
I wont go into too much detail about the football because I was, like the rest of us in a Zulu like encounter where we were overrun, out numbered and out stripped, damn those Lemony shirted devils they were everywhere, and although I could see nothing but brave lads being done all around, and there was a total commitment from everybody, nobody went down without putting up a fight, the Dunkirk spirit ruled to the end. I don’t know why it didn’t work, nobody played badly, its a mystery, there were heroics, moments of genius and brute strength from the Alliance, but we were ruthlessly dissected by the opposition. They were tight, strategic and smug about it. They also had a strange shadowy figure on the touchline, perhaps the devil himself, some black magician, plotting our downfall , like Guido Fawkes himself, maybe he was the difference, maybe one of our subs should’ve twatted him early on.
Anyway it’s hard in such painful circumstances to select a man of the match, but my heart goes out to Paul, who despite his early ill fated metaphors, fought on to the end like a true Captain, with his head up, and because I have faith that the next time he leads us into battle with these fucks he will become their nemesis, I will write his ‘yea though I walk through the valley of death I will fear no man’ speech, I will follow him and we will remember the 5th of November, and we will blow them away. Next up for a shout is Eddie who saved us many times from the evil spectre of double figures, excellent work mate.
For what its worth, next time maybe we should play for 0-0, everyone intensively defensive, we wait till they mess up then pick em off, easy.
Gibbsy signing off.
Remember, remember the 5th of November?, no, no, please, I don’t want to, I want to block it out, I want to bury it deep down and let it shrivel up and die in some inky black, never ventured down cul -de- sac of my brain, a place where no one goes, ever. No, it wasn’t a good night.
It started ominously enough - as we warmed up on the court next to the pitch there were warning shots rocketing across our bows, bright flashing red lights, screams and sirens - how could we have ignored such blatant signs so casually? But we did, and like many things that occurred later in the evening, our inability to exercise our ‘vision’ facility must be something we should take extremely seriously.
So then we’re on the pitch, and we dick around as usual waiting for the get go, and out of the corner of my eye I see them. Smugly organised in their freshly squeezed hi-viz yellow, they’re gently yet sycophantically applauding each player as they name their squad, jolly good show Nigel..clap, clap, clap, hmmm.
Coyley pull us up for our chat and whos playing where and its feeling good, we’ve a strong squad and everyone looks up for it. But then theres the uncharacteristic use of deep metaphors from our warrior Captain Coyle - the ‘mice and men’ team talk. Well now, based on the ‘vision’ theory outlined earlier, flashing red lights etc, more warning signs are now flashing. Heres the gist of it, ‘Of Mice and Men’ was a John Steinbeck novel about two ill fated migrant field workers in California during the Great Depression, George Milton, the smart one, and Lennie Small, an ironically named man of large stature and immense strength but limited mental abilities. They venture out West to stake out some farmland and live out their dream. The dream crashes when Lennie (massive but not very clever) accidentally kills the young and attractive wife of a ranch owner's son, while trying to stroke her hair, much to hard, like he did already with his pet mouse (aha, theres the ‘mice’ ref). So then a lynch mob gathers and George (the clever small one), realizing he is doomed to a life of loneliness and despair like the rest of the migrant workers decides to be a man and spare Lennie a painful death at the hands of the vengeful and violent ranchers, so he shoots Lennie in the back of the head before the mob can find him. So, if you’ve bothered to read to the end of this bit, the moral of the Mice and Men tale is that the best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry, as did ours, but also if you stroke things to hard they squish up in yer fist, and finally that a bullet in the back of the head would probably have been preferable to 8 nil. So how prophetic was our Cap, scary huh? We should have seen it coming.
I wont go into too much detail about the football because I was, like the rest of us in a Zulu like encounter where we were overrun, out numbered and out stripped, damn those Lemony shirted devils they were everywhere, and although I could see nothing but brave lads being done all around, and there was a total commitment from everybody, nobody went down without putting up a fight, the Dunkirk spirit ruled to the end. I don’t know why it didn’t work, nobody played badly, its a mystery, there were heroics, moments of genius and brute strength from the Alliance, but we were ruthlessly dissected by the opposition. They were tight, strategic and smug about it. They also had a strange shadowy figure on the touchline, perhaps the devil himself, some black magician, plotting our downfall , like Guido Fawkes himself, maybe he was the difference, maybe one of our subs should’ve twatted him early on.
Anyway it’s hard in such painful circumstances to select a man of the match, but my heart goes out to Paul, who despite his early ill fated metaphors, fought on to the end like a true Captain, with his head up, and because I have faith that the next time he leads us into battle with these fucks he will become their nemesis, I will write his ‘yea though I walk through the valley of death I will fear no man’ speech, I will follow him and we will remember the 5th of November, and we will blow them away. Next up for a shout is Eddie who saved us many times from the evil spectre of double figures, excellent work mate.
For what its worth, next time maybe we should play for 0-0, everyone intensively defensive, we wait till they mess up then pick em off, easy.
Gibbsy signing off.
Monday 27 October 2008
Sunday October 26, The Jokers (a)
Courtesy of Micah Watkins and his new wipsy beard...
So, is this a long blog yes it is, but thats because it was a Bloody hard slog of a game. Well I arrived with Ketch nice and early 14.30pm parked up and wondered what this cold wet afternoon had in store for the lads this day. The opposition were also keen to play, they were also pretty early standing around living up to their names telling each other Jokes and generally joking around waiting for the Alliance to arrive.
As the Alliance lads arrived, I knew as I wasnt playing today, my job would be to take care of the smaller Alliance future i.e. Master Henry who was fast asleep and totally out cold. Looked like a good place to be, wrapped up in dad's coat and a blanky. Coyley walked across the pitch with a small grin on his face, oh crap I knew this would happen, the ref was late and they needed a stand in, and so be it. I walked on the pitch, black coat, baseball cap, ready to take control of this match. Keepers ready, Contenders ready, 321 I blew the whistle.
Paul taking early command of the team, the ball started bouncing back and forth and finally ended up at Ketch's feet his first touch for months but before he could do anything one of the Jokers took his feet out from under him. Do I blow for a foul or do I play the advantage, let us have the advantage, forgive me Ketch. The ball bounced towards Gibsy who knocked the ball over the top, play the advantage I said to myself. Medge took hold of the ball and took off, followed by Ian and the Alliance massive surely Medge could convert this, go on son give it a dig was the call from me, oh ahhh yes I am supposed to be impartial at the moment sorry but the advantage played was to no avail straight at the keepers chest, never mind son next time.
We then stopped for a minute, at last the ref was here, 35mintues late,Ohhh Heeellooo, its a woman. Fair enough, I handed over control to her, all the while thinking to myself you forgot to set your clock didnt you, and what did you go shopping for, anyway my male chauvinist side came out but the game continued. The Jokers came back at us, pushing hard towards our defence moving towards Dan and Colin who measured up to them, tracked them and defended well. Colin always going in hard and making his challenges first time well done. We pushed forward again after a big goal kick by Bernie after a few attempted headers the ball landed with Ian who switched it from right over to Medge on the left who danced around one then two then on his left foot you beauty it's in.1 0 Alliance.
The Jokers took the retake, Dan working hard at the back, backed up by Ketch and Colin, Dai clearing his lines and making great challenges. Jonesy running hard and pushing the ball forward as much as possible trying to find Medge and to create chances, the ball bounced back in our favour we pushed forward Paul screaming orders, Dan and Ketch commanding the rear then the ball from my vantage point seemed to bobble back off a Joker after some one had a shot not sure who and then some how bounced of another joker and Oh my God its in, Yey 2 - 0 Alliance own goal by the Jokers.
When half time came we were looking goooood! (At this point the editor steps in to make everyone aware of a strange 20 minute period in the first half which clearly affected Micah as much as the players. Things werent looking good at half time, we were 5-2 down after being 2-0 up. See below but imagine some of it happened in the first half).
Paul giving his normal up lifting team talk it looked like we had this in the bag. 2nd Half The Jokers, proper angry and cheesed off kicked off. Paul bossing it in the middle got hold of the ball knocked a ball over the top chased by Dan backed up by Ian here we go again, then some how the ball found its way to Jokers who pushed back at us and some how crap they scored, it was weak never mind start again lads we all said start again. We kicked off, the ball bouncing around Ketch in his first game back clearing his lines hard and well, Collin tracking his player constantly and getting struck in Chris clearing the ball out the ball landing at Iain's feet. Iain turns and swings a great shot just over the bar a decent effort. We played hard and kept battling hard, then they get a corner, it was then that I felt a great disturbance in the force , the ball played in curling to the far post and then it happened they scored , The Shit Bastards scored 2 1 well never mind lads lets go again then a few minutes later 2 2, OK lads dont worry, keep it cool Paul said calm it down lets get some composure on the ball, then again they came back at us we tracked them back making tackles where needed, marking their players but then an a opening on the right hand side gave them an advantage they broke through and holly hell 3 -2 to the Jokers, not sure what was going on but they clearly found a weakness in the Alliance's armour.
We continued to battle hard and to be honest there really wasnt much in it with Medge getting another goal with a great strike after muscling his way forward. Jonesy again creating chances up front and then Iain also sending another one in, good man Iain great vision. But then before we knew it the shit, I mean the Jokers, had become invigorated Hey whats going on we are playing so well and before I could scream loud enough to wake Henry up it was 4 - 2 Oh my little Padawan dont wake sleep.. It was then that it got a little scrappy as we were fighting hard the Jokers didnt like the fact that we could fight as hard as them and take it and give it back to them, at one point I clearly remember Dan holding his temper and not ripping one of the Jokers' heads off. Paul, also flexing his muscles but showing them who was boss, and me giving them a piece of my mind from the side line.
Then the score line started to change rapidly, the Alliance, no matter (how they stop us, no matter - insert from the ed) what we did couldnt stop the dark force of evil breaking through again they scored 5 - 2 (see half time comment) then 6 - 4 oh hell its 7 - 4 but the Alliance did not sit back, not from where I was standing, I really dont know how they managed to take the victory from us, you may have your opinions but to me it seemed just damned unlucky on our side. We basically got taken up the arse by this lot and not sure why this happened as to be honest the Alliance did not relent or give up it was just one of those games where the Gods decided to screw us. Ketch you played well in your first game back. Well done Sir, not too rusty at all.Bernie again hats of to you for going in between the sticks (Ed - Sorry Micah but I made a dog's cock of between the sticks. Closing my eyes and hoping for the best isnt what we needed).Captain Paul as ever you played hard and dedicated.Gibbsy, Dan, Colin some excellent challenges in defence, Jonesy, Iain, Medge great performances lads.
We will have our day, lets be positive, our day is coming and we will be victorious, I have to say that after careful deliberation with Henry, we decided that the man of the match goes to Colin who challenged better than I have ever seen him, and marked his man constantly a great effort well done Colin. If I have forgotten anything forgive me but such a high scoring game there was a lot going on but well done lads keep your chins up.
So, is this a long blog yes it is, but thats because it was a Bloody hard slog of a game. Well I arrived with Ketch nice and early 14.30pm parked up and wondered what this cold wet afternoon had in store for the lads this day. The opposition were also keen to play, they were also pretty early standing around living up to their names telling each other Jokes and generally joking around waiting for the Alliance to arrive.
As the Alliance lads arrived, I knew as I wasnt playing today, my job would be to take care of the smaller Alliance future i.e. Master Henry who was fast asleep and totally out cold. Looked like a good place to be, wrapped up in dad's coat and a blanky. Coyley walked across the pitch with a small grin on his face, oh crap I knew this would happen, the ref was late and they needed a stand in, and so be it. I walked on the pitch, black coat, baseball cap, ready to take control of this match. Keepers ready, Contenders ready, 321 I blew the whistle.
Paul taking early command of the team, the ball started bouncing back and forth and finally ended up at Ketch's feet his first touch for months but before he could do anything one of the Jokers took his feet out from under him. Do I blow for a foul or do I play the advantage, let us have the advantage, forgive me Ketch. The ball bounced towards Gibsy who knocked the ball over the top, play the advantage I said to myself. Medge took hold of the ball and took off, followed by Ian and the Alliance massive surely Medge could convert this, go on son give it a dig was the call from me, oh ahhh yes I am supposed to be impartial at the moment sorry but the advantage played was to no avail straight at the keepers chest, never mind son next time.
We then stopped for a minute, at last the ref was here, 35mintues late,Ohhh Heeellooo, its a woman. Fair enough, I handed over control to her, all the while thinking to myself you forgot to set your clock didnt you, and what did you go shopping for, anyway my male chauvinist side came out but the game continued. The Jokers came back at us, pushing hard towards our defence moving towards Dan and Colin who measured up to them, tracked them and defended well. Colin always going in hard and making his challenges first time well done. We pushed forward again after a big goal kick by Bernie after a few attempted headers the ball landed with Ian who switched it from right over to Medge on the left who danced around one then two then on his left foot you beauty it's in.1 0 Alliance.
The Jokers took the retake, Dan working hard at the back, backed up by Ketch and Colin, Dai clearing his lines and making great challenges. Jonesy running hard and pushing the ball forward as much as possible trying to find Medge and to create chances, the ball bounced back in our favour we pushed forward Paul screaming orders, Dan and Ketch commanding the rear then the ball from my vantage point seemed to bobble back off a Joker after some one had a shot not sure who and then some how bounced of another joker and Oh my God its in, Yey 2 - 0 Alliance own goal by the Jokers.
When half time came we were looking goooood! (At this point the editor steps in to make everyone aware of a strange 20 minute period in the first half which clearly affected Micah as much as the players. Things werent looking good at half time, we were 5-2 down after being 2-0 up. See below but imagine some of it happened in the first half).
Paul giving his normal up lifting team talk it looked like we had this in the bag. 2nd Half The Jokers, proper angry and cheesed off kicked off. Paul bossing it in the middle got hold of the ball knocked a ball over the top chased by Dan backed up by Ian here we go again, then some how the ball found its way to Jokers who pushed back at us and some how crap they scored, it was weak never mind start again lads we all said start again. We kicked off, the ball bouncing around Ketch in his first game back clearing his lines hard and well, Collin tracking his player constantly and getting struck in Chris clearing the ball out the ball landing at Iain's feet. Iain turns and swings a great shot just over the bar a decent effort. We played hard and kept battling hard, then they get a corner, it was then that I felt a great disturbance in the force , the ball played in curling to the far post and then it happened they scored , The Shit Bastards scored 2 1 well never mind lads lets go again then a few minutes later 2 2, OK lads dont worry, keep it cool Paul said calm it down lets get some composure on the ball, then again they came back at us we tracked them back making tackles where needed, marking their players but then an a opening on the right hand side gave them an advantage they broke through and holly hell 3 -2 to the Jokers, not sure what was going on but they clearly found a weakness in the Alliance's armour.
We continued to battle hard and to be honest there really wasnt much in it with Medge getting another goal with a great strike after muscling his way forward. Jonesy again creating chances up front and then Iain also sending another one in, good man Iain great vision. But then before we knew it the shit, I mean the Jokers, had become invigorated Hey whats going on we are playing so well and before I could scream loud enough to wake Henry up it was 4 - 2 Oh my little Padawan dont wake sleep.. It was then that it got a little scrappy as we were fighting hard the Jokers didnt like the fact that we could fight as hard as them and take it and give it back to them, at one point I clearly remember Dan holding his temper and not ripping one of the Jokers' heads off. Paul, also flexing his muscles but showing them who was boss, and me giving them a piece of my mind from the side line.
Then the score line started to change rapidly, the Alliance, no matter (how they stop us, no matter - insert from the ed) what we did couldnt stop the dark force of evil breaking through again they scored 5 - 2 (see half time comment) then 6 - 4 oh hell its 7 - 4 but the Alliance did not sit back, not from where I was standing, I really dont know how they managed to take the victory from us, you may have your opinions but to me it seemed just damned unlucky on our side. We basically got taken up the arse by this lot and not sure why this happened as to be honest the Alliance did not relent or give up it was just one of those games where the Gods decided to screw us. Ketch you played well in your first game back. Well done Sir, not too rusty at all.Bernie again hats of to you for going in between the sticks (Ed - Sorry Micah but I made a dog's cock of between the sticks. Closing my eyes and hoping for the best isnt what we needed).Captain Paul as ever you played hard and dedicated.Gibbsy, Dan, Colin some excellent challenges in defence, Jonesy, Iain, Medge great performances lads.
We will have our day, lets be positive, our day is coming and we will be victorious, I have to say that after careful deliberation with Henry, we decided that the man of the match goes to Colin who challenged better than I have ever seen him, and marked his man constantly a great effort well done Colin. If I have forgotten anything forgive me but such a high scoring game there was a lot going on but well done lads keep your chins up.
Monday 20 October 2008
Sunday 19 October: Perfidious Albion (a): Market Road
Opening up the season with a narrow defeat against Green Park Rangers was certainly not the start to the season that our ever enthuisiastic Captain had forseseen. Fortunately, being a Geordie, he’s well used to his pre-season visions not coming to pass. He had used words like “unlucky” and “nearly” in his analysis of last week’s game (and some others that required an interpreter) but he was clearly unsettled by a disappointing start to the season.
So the Captain wore a worried look when he called me one side to: “Take a look at this.” Slightly concerned and panic stricken, I was all ready to reassure him that it wasn’t that bad and nothing a course of antibiotics couldn’t handle when he – much to my relief – pulled out a piece of paper and a pen from an orange sock. On it was a list of his brave little soldiers and a battle plan for victory. He talked for a bit, I listened, nodding occasionally, before agreeing upon a formation I barely understood.
So we lined up with Eddie between the sticks, Steve, Dai, Chris and Bernie across the back, an unfathomable midfield matrix of Paul, Dan, Simon, Jonny and Micah, and Hudson – sporting new boots fitted with a pioneering Malice Regulation Device – doing the Alliance’s bit to promote global terror up front. On the bench, Gibbsy, Colin, and Jeff waited for the call whilst exchanging pleasantries with Henry.
Off we go then with the possibility of mood lighting later in the game courtesy of the newly installed Market Road wind turbine (not the only thing powered by wind). As usual, we were quickly into our silky stride, knocking the ball around with clueless ease. Simon, Dan and Paul were starting to win the midfield battle, the back four set up their own version of Offa’s Dyke in front of Eddie and Matty was busy playing nice guy up front as the FA-sponsored valium held firm.
But it was on the flanks that the action really started, sparked into life by the latest instalment of the Alliance sponsored foul-throw-a-thon (nearly £8 now raised for ‘Knees for Nick’). Taking their lead from the do-gooding, Jonny and Micah started marauding in the wide open spaces and linking up nicely with Paul, Matt and Simon. Several half-chances came and went as a few crosses narrowly missed their target and a few shots missed the target. Meantime at the back, Chris was just offering round brandy and cigars when Perfidious broke.
I say broke, I mean hoofed it over the top. Still struggling with the cigar cutter, Dai made a dog’s breakfast of a simple ball over the top but breathed a sigh of releif when his pace came to the rescue once again. Corner to Perfidious. Bit of pushing and shoving in the penalty area (not helped by Bernie cracking open a pack of mini-cheddars) was quickly forgotten when the ball looped over us all only for Eddie to leap like an imposing Colombian goalkeeper and tip over the bar. Still 0-0 and a wake up call for the Alliance.
With half-time appraoching we were quickly back on the attack, again down the flanks where Jonny continued to maraude and Micah worked tirelessly holding the ball up and linking play nicely. It was from one of the flanks that the ball was worked into the middle where Dan had made a rare foray upfield, setting off my ‘shit I feel all exposed’ panic alarm in the process. But once there, he picked the ball up on the edge of the D, shaped to hit it with his left foot, thought better of it, shaped to hit it with his right foot, couldn’t, and so reluctantly went back to his left. After 3 whole minutes, he eventually let fly with his left foot and we were 1-0 up. Cue customary Dan hard man goal celebration.
Half-time. (Ice-cream and refreshments on sale in the foyer)
At half-time we congratulated ourselves on a job well-done and talked about continuing the work rate and spreading the ball wider where Jonny and Micah were excelling (or maybe that was just what I said). With Paul, Simon and Dan ruling midfield, and Dai and Chris doing a steady job with Steve and Bernie at the back, we were looking good.
You will excuse the short write up of the second half but I only played 10 minutes of it and frankly lost interest as soon as Henry revealed that not only did he have a Bob the Builder figure, but a tractor too. From what I remember, they shifted it round a bit and dropped one of their strikers back into midfield and brought on a blunderbus of a striker up front. No matter, Chris and Dan were having him for breakfast.
Still we looked like the better team, with Jonny, Matty and Micah starting to link up well up front. Again chances came and went, one in particular where Jonny was a fag-paper away from converting a cross from Matty or Micah or someone else beginning with M. By this time Gibbsy, Jeff and Colin were all on all as Bernie, Steve and Dai took their leave.
Still very much on top, we needed another goal to give us reward for our superiority. Eventually it came when Jonny latched on to a smart through ball and slid the ball under the onrushing keeper. 2-0 and the Chairman’s starting to calculate win bonuses.
But with the promise of a £5 book token in the offing, the Alliance fell apart. Sinking too deep and giving the ball away needlessly, Perfidious started to think that there was something in this game for them. Eddie made a couple of smart saves but cracks were starting to show. Shortly afterwards one crack in particular became a cavernous split. First a cross that we failed to cut was netted at the near post (could have been a bicycle kick from 40 yards for all I can remember) and then with just seconds remaining, a floaty, loopy, flicky, gay shot from the edge of the area left Eddie with no chance. 2-2. Can you fucking believe it?
Plenty of positives: Matty’s new anti-malice device, Dan as the shield in front of the back four, Jonny bringing a sense of adventure to the right hand side, Simon and Paul quietly effective in the middle and mini-cheddars at corners.
Negatives: Drawing with a team that even Newcastle might beat. (“Which one of you is Perfidious? You’re a c**t.”) Oh, and the fact that Coyley’s volley from the edge of the box (speed-gunned at 150mph) just flew over the bar.
MOM: Micah. A grand job on the left hand-side, making good use of the ball, linking play well, battling for everything and demonstrating that you too can throw the ball a fucking long way if you take creatin powder and eat 6 whole chickens a day.
Bernie's PS: I actually cleared one off the line in the first half plus here's Uncle Gibbsy on the tele: http://www.pringles.co.uk/football/extras.aspx (scroll down to the second video)
So the Captain wore a worried look when he called me one side to: “Take a look at this.” Slightly concerned and panic stricken, I was all ready to reassure him that it wasn’t that bad and nothing a course of antibiotics couldn’t handle when he – much to my relief – pulled out a piece of paper and a pen from an orange sock. On it was a list of his brave little soldiers and a battle plan for victory. He talked for a bit, I listened, nodding occasionally, before agreeing upon a formation I barely understood.
So we lined up with Eddie between the sticks, Steve, Dai, Chris and Bernie across the back, an unfathomable midfield matrix of Paul, Dan, Simon, Jonny and Micah, and Hudson – sporting new boots fitted with a pioneering Malice Regulation Device – doing the Alliance’s bit to promote global terror up front. On the bench, Gibbsy, Colin, and Jeff waited for the call whilst exchanging pleasantries with Henry.
Off we go then with the possibility of mood lighting later in the game courtesy of the newly installed Market Road wind turbine (not the only thing powered by wind). As usual, we were quickly into our silky stride, knocking the ball around with clueless ease. Simon, Dan and Paul were starting to win the midfield battle, the back four set up their own version of Offa’s Dyke in front of Eddie and Matty was busy playing nice guy up front as the FA-sponsored valium held firm.
But it was on the flanks that the action really started, sparked into life by the latest instalment of the Alliance sponsored foul-throw-a-thon (nearly £8 now raised for ‘Knees for Nick’). Taking their lead from the do-gooding, Jonny and Micah started marauding in the wide open spaces and linking up nicely with Paul, Matt and Simon. Several half-chances came and went as a few crosses narrowly missed their target and a few shots missed the target. Meantime at the back, Chris was just offering round brandy and cigars when Perfidious broke.
I say broke, I mean hoofed it over the top. Still struggling with the cigar cutter, Dai made a dog’s breakfast of a simple ball over the top but breathed a sigh of releif when his pace came to the rescue once again. Corner to Perfidious. Bit of pushing and shoving in the penalty area (not helped by Bernie cracking open a pack of mini-cheddars) was quickly forgotten when the ball looped over us all only for Eddie to leap like an imposing Colombian goalkeeper and tip over the bar. Still 0-0 and a wake up call for the Alliance.
With half-time appraoching we were quickly back on the attack, again down the flanks where Jonny continued to maraude and Micah worked tirelessly holding the ball up and linking play nicely. It was from one of the flanks that the ball was worked into the middle where Dan had made a rare foray upfield, setting off my ‘shit I feel all exposed’ panic alarm in the process. But once there, he picked the ball up on the edge of the D, shaped to hit it with his left foot, thought better of it, shaped to hit it with his right foot, couldn’t, and so reluctantly went back to his left. After 3 whole minutes, he eventually let fly with his left foot and we were 1-0 up. Cue customary Dan hard man goal celebration.
Half-time. (Ice-cream and refreshments on sale in the foyer)
At half-time we congratulated ourselves on a job well-done and talked about continuing the work rate and spreading the ball wider where Jonny and Micah were excelling (or maybe that was just what I said). With Paul, Simon and Dan ruling midfield, and Dai and Chris doing a steady job with Steve and Bernie at the back, we were looking good.
You will excuse the short write up of the second half but I only played 10 minutes of it and frankly lost interest as soon as Henry revealed that not only did he have a Bob the Builder figure, but a tractor too. From what I remember, they shifted it round a bit and dropped one of their strikers back into midfield and brought on a blunderbus of a striker up front. No matter, Chris and Dan were having him for breakfast.
Still we looked like the better team, with Jonny, Matty and Micah starting to link up well up front. Again chances came and went, one in particular where Jonny was a fag-paper away from converting a cross from Matty or Micah or someone else beginning with M. By this time Gibbsy, Jeff and Colin were all on all as Bernie, Steve and Dai took their leave.
Still very much on top, we needed another goal to give us reward for our superiority. Eventually it came when Jonny latched on to a smart through ball and slid the ball under the onrushing keeper. 2-0 and the Chairman’s starting to calculate win bonuses.
But with the promise of a £5 book token in the offing, the Alliance fell apart. Sinking too deep and giving the ball away needlessly, Perfidious started to think that there was something in this game for them. Eddie made a couple of smart saves but cracks were starting to show. Shortly afterwards one crack in particular became a cavernous split. First a cross that we failed to cut was netted at the near post (could have been a bicycle kick from 40 yards for all I can remember) and then with just seconds remaining, a floaty, loopy, flicky, gay shot from the edge of the area left Eddie with no chance. 2-2. Can you fucking believe it?
Plenty of positives: Matty’s new anti-malice device, Dan as the shield in front of the back four, Jonny bringing a sense of adventure to the right hand side, Simon and Paul quietly effective in the middle and mini-cheddars at corners.
Negatives: Drawing with a team that even Newcastle might beat. (“Which one of you is Perfidious? You’re a c**t.”) Oh, and the fact that Coyley’s volley from the edge of the box (speed-gunned at 150mph) just flew over the bar.
MOM: Micah. A grand job on the left hand-side, making good use of the ball, linking play well, battling for everything and demonstrating that you too can throw the ball a fucking long way if you take creatin powder and eat 6 whole chickens a day.
Bernie's PS: I actually cleared one off the line in the first half plus here's Uncle Gibbsy on the tele: http://www.pringles.co.uk/football/extras.aspx (scroll down to the second video)
Monday 13 October 2008
20089 FIXTURES/RESULTS
Green Park Rangers Battersea League AWAY 12/10/2008: 2-3 (Medge, Ballsy)
Perfidious Albion Market Road League AWAY 19/10/2008: 2-2 (Dan, Johnny
Jokers Market Road League AWAY 26/10/2008: 7-4 (Paul, Medge 2, Own Goal)
Fowlers Mile End Cup AWAY 05/11/2008 (8.30pm KO): 0-8 (massive neg)
Shanty Town Clapham League HOME 15/11/2008 (1.30pm KO) 3-3 (Paul, Dan, Hudson)
Golden Boots Market Road League AWAY 23/11/2008 2-3
Strollers Market Road League AWAY 30/11/2008 2-2 (Dan 2)
Cambazola Market Road Cup AWAY (10/01/2009) 0-5
FC National Putney League AWAY 24/01/2009
Cambazola Clapham Cup HOME 01/02/2009 (1.30pm KO)
Jokers Market Road League AWAY 08/02/2009
Strollers Clapham League HOME 15/02/2009 (1.30pm KO)
Fowlers Clapham Cup HOME 21/02/2009 (1.30pm KO)
Shanty Town Market Road League AWAY 28/02/2009
Jokers Clapham Cup HOME 07/03/2008 (1.30pm KO)
Golden Boots Clapham League HOME 14/03/2008 (1.30pm KO)
FC National Clapham League HOME 21/03/2008 (1.30pm KO)
Perfidious Albion Clapham LeagueHOME 29/03/2008 (1.30pm KO)
Green Park Rangers (Location TBC) League HOME 25/04/2008
Jokers (Location TBC) League HOME 10/05/2008
Perfidious Albion Market Road League AWAY 19/10/2008: 2-2 (Dan, Johnny
Jokers Market Road League AWAY 26/10/2008: 7-4 (Paul, Medge 2, Own Goal)
Fowlers Mile End Cup AWAY 05/11/2008 (8.30pm KO): 0-8 (massive neg)
Shanty Town Clapham League HOME 15/11/2008 (1.30pm KO) 3-3 (Paul, Dan, Hudson)
Golden Boots Market Road League AWAY 23/11/2008 2-3
Strollers Market Road League AWAY 30/11/2008 2-2 (Dan 2)
Cambazola Market Road Cup AWAY (10/01/2009) 0-5
FC National Putney League AWAY 24/01/2009
Cambazola Clapham Cup HOME 01/02/2009 (1.30pm KO)
Jokers Market Road League AWAY 08/02/2009
Strollers Clapham League HOME 15/02/2009 (1.30pm KO)
Fowlers Clapham Cup HOME 21/02/2009 (1.30pm KO)
Shanty Town Market Road League AWAY 28/02/2009
Jokers Clapham Cup HOME 07/03/2008 (1.30pm KO)
Golden Boots Clapham League HOME 14/03/2008 (1.30pm KO)
FC National Clapham League HOME 21/03/2008 (1.30pm KO)
Perfidious Albion Clapham LeagueHOME 29/03/2008 (1.30pm KO)
Green Park Rangers (Location TBC) League HOME 25/04/2008
Jokers (Location TBC) League HOME 10/05/2008
Sunday 12 October: vs GPR (A) at Battsersea Park
Howay lads, we’re not a bunch of 9yr olds.
Coyley’s latest nonsensical motivational shoutings (see title) still rings through my ears as I write the blog in the absence of the Bard Bernie, apologies for any poor description of the game but, as I’ve told many women the day after when I forget their name, “I had a car accident a few years ago and I now consequently have a very poor short term memory”.
Week started badly as the team sheet rolled in to Captain Coyley with something like 11 forward minded players and 2 defenders on the list. The missing of Dan, Dai, Chris and Bernie due to family commitments earns them the right to buy the first round next Sunday. Other losses included Gibbsy and Geoff who I can only assume are dead and so are exempt from pint buying.
So we turn up on an un-seasonally warm day at Battersea park to face GRP high on the confidence building friendly win and looking to finish this lower league shower off before half time then switch off and catch up the ‘man tan’ in the second. The Captain took his deserved vice captain for the day (me) aside for a chat about the team in which he showed me the team on the back of a bus timetable, I recommended changes, he disregarded them, we were set. Very makeshift team read as follows: Eddie (welcome return in goal), John F and Crouch (centre backs) Johnny (RB) Colin (LB) Hudson & Coyley (CM) Ballsy (AMF) Iain (RAMF) Micah (LAMF) Mej (CF) Subs: Pete, Steve. (Ed. Fucking hell the positioning is like Championship Manager 2003)
The game started well from the centre backs view, very scrappy but holding our own. No real chances early doors but some worrying signs as balls got sent over the top and our terrifyingly rapid centre back pairing were caught out of position and out of line a couple of times. Sadly this tactic paid off after 15 mins or so with a ball over the top and myself and a GPR attacker chasing back, the tactical football magazines I read as a child told me I should have taken ball and player out of the game but I opted for the frankly surprising choice of neither. Unfortunately Eddie had strayed off his line and my crap tackle led to a jammy shot creeping into the corner 1-0 GPR.
Some good work coming from Ballsy Micah on the left and Johnny and Iain on the right was settling us down, if we could get a few in the mixer it looked like it might be turning, sadly they raped the wind out of our sails with a well worked goal involving some kind of camp precise backheel and a lucky crisply hit curling 18 yard strike into the top corner, no one at fault for this one, perhaps we could have closed them down quicker. 2-0
I started getting annoyed at being a shit centre back at this point and thought I’d take it upon myself to be a shit forward for a bit. I’m not 100% sure but it must have been a corner or I wouldn’t have been in their box but a ball into the middle led to a GPR defender hastily clearing the ball into my testicles from point blank range on the 6 yard box and with superb ball control (see what I did there) it landed at my feet. As the dark clouds of unconsciousness began to take hold I managed to turn and lay it off to Ballsy on the edge of the area middle of the goal, one touch to set himself then a deft curled effort into the top corner. Good stuff 2-1.
Half Time.
Second half began with Steve coming on at right back for Micah, Johnny goes Right Wing and Iain over to the left. Ramshackle defending lets them back in a number of times and Eddy works wonders to keep them at bay until finally he can only palm one upward and the bounce defeats John F (not his fault) to allow their forward to nod home from 1 yard 3-1.
We then start to build with Johnny working hard on the right and Mej getting very close to being put through by Iain, Ballsy and Coyley but all either cut out or too long, just. Several corners came our way with sound deliveries from Iain leading to some great chances for Steve and others I can’t remember. Finally the pressure told with a really good goal. Corner for GPR, sterling defending from Pete (on for Colin at LB) to start a move down the right. Sorry if I miss anyone here but I know Johnny ran a long way with the ball, exchanged passes with someone (sorry) and put Coyley in on the angle. Coyley played a deliberate and precise scuffed shot into the area and Mej volleyed home. 3-2.
At this point our gander was up and with Micah scaring the living piss out of everyone on the sidelines with manic berating (good work Micah) and Coyley referring to us a 9 year olds (again) we wanted it more than them. More corners came in, more chances. Then the moment we were all waiting for Ballsy takes a short corner to Mej, Mej sends in a near perfect cross and Johnny can’t quite grow enough to get over the header and guided it wide (which to be fair was all he could have done, bloody short people)
We (me) then switched off a bit and a few chances fell to GPR which they should have taken but for the quality of Eddy in the sticks, before we knew it the whistle had gone 3-2 GPR.
Positives: Understrength and unknown team played some decent stuff at times and effort was good. Made chances from set pieces and defended high balls relatively well. Coyley got a new catchphrase.
Negatives: Lost.
Overall some good games out there, stand-out performance outfield from Johnny with good running and skills down the right just not able to get the crosses over due to solid defending, but it’ll come. Micah almost won MOM from the sidelines with his shouting 12th man performance also for taking the kit again (someone else next time please lads). But MOM has to go to Eddy for some top saves and good presence in the box, could have been out of it early in the second without the big man, well played sir.
I apologise for my centre back performance, I think the shot to the love spuds was some divine justice for allowing them through so many times. Also had my t shirt nicked/taken by accident so if anyone finds a dark blue T-Shirt with ‘Cougars’ written on it, it’s mine you thieving git! (only joking, I’ll have it back next game please). Also I had to look after a woman this week (not you Iain) so will be back on the social secretary scene next week where we can get a few more of us down the pub post match.
Big shout to Hudson who played well but has not received a mention at all in the blog because he a) kept his temper and b) didn’t injury himself. Well done resident evil, we salute you (and well done whoever spiked him with depressants before the game).
Special mention to Sophie and Vicki for their support and presenting of individual bags of haribo after the game. You’re welcome everytime.
Coyley’s latest nonsensical motivational shoutings (see title) still rings through my ears as I write the blog in the absence of the Bard Bernie, apologies for any poor description of the game but, as I’ve told many women the day after when I forget their name, “I had a car accident a few years ago and I now consequently have a very poor short term memory”.
Week started badly as the team sheet rolled in to Captain Coyley with something like 11 forward minded players and 2 defenders on the list. The missing of Dan, Dai, Chris and Bernie due to family commitments earns them the right to buy the first round next Sunday. Other losses included Gibbsy and Geoff who I can only assume are dead and so are exempt from pint buying.
So we turn up on an un-seasonally warm day at Battersea park to face GRP high on the confidence building friendly win and looking to finish this lower league shower off before half time then switch off and catch up the ‘man tan’ in the second. The Captain took his deserved vice captain for the day (me) aside for a chat about the team in which he showed me the team on the back of a bus timetable, I recommended changes, he disregarded them, we were set. Very makeshift team read as follows: Eddie (welcome return in goal), John F and Crouch (centre backs) Johnny (RB) Colin (LB) Hudson & Coyley (CM) Ballsy (AMF) Iain (RAMF) Micah (LAMF) Mej (CF) Subs: Pete, Steve. (Ed. Fucking hell the positioning is like Championship Manager 2003)
The game started well from the centre backs view, very scrappy but holding our own. No real chances early doors but some worrying signs as balls got sent over the top and our terrifyingly rapid centre back pairing were caught out of position and out of line a couple of times. Sadly this tactic paid off after 15 mins or so with a ball over the top and myself and a GPR attacker chasing back, the tactical football magazines I read as a child told me I should have taken ball and player out of the game but I opted for the frankly surprising choice of neither. Unfortunately Eddie had strayed off his line and my crap tackle led to a jammy shot creeping into the corner 1-0 GPR.
Some good work coming from Ballsy Micah on the left and Johnny and Iain on the right was settling us down, if we could get a few in the mixer it looked like it might be turning, sadly they raped the wind out of our sails with a well worked goal involving some kind of camp precise backheel and a lucky crisply hit curling 18 yard strike into the top corner, no one at fault for this one, perhaps we could have closed them down quicker. 2-0
I started getting annoyed at being a shit centre back at this point and thought I’d take it upon myself to be a shit forward for a bit. I’m not 100% sure but it must have been a corner or I wouldn’t have been in their box but a ball into the middle led to a GPR defender hastily clearing the ball into my testicles from point blank range on the 6 yard box and with superb ball control (see what I did there) it landed at my feet. As the dark clouds of unconsciousness began to take hold I managed to turn and lay it off to Ballsy on the edge of the area middle of the goal, one touch to set himself then a deft curled effort into the top corner. Good stuff 2-1.
Half Time.
Second half began with Steve coming on at right back for Micah, Johnny goes Right Wing and Iain over to the left. Ramshackle defending lets them back in a number of times and Eddy works wonders to keep them at bay until finally he can only palm one upward and the bounce defeats John F (not his fault) to allow their forward to nod home from 1 yard 3-1.
We then start to build with Johnny working hard on the right and Mej getting very close to being put through by Iain, Ballsy and Coyley but all either cut out or too long, just. Several corners came our way with sound deliveries from Iain leading to some great chances for Steve and others I can’t remember. Finally the pressure told with a really good goal. Corner for GPR, sterling defending from Pete (on for Colin at LB) to start a move down the right. Sorry if I miss anyone here but I know Johnny ran a long way with the ball, exchanged passes with someone (sorry) and put Coyley in on the angle. Coyley played a deliberate and precise scuffed shot into the area and Mej volleyed home. 3-2.
At this point our gander was up and with Micah scaring the living piss out of everyone on the sidelines with manic berating (good work Micah) and Coyley referring to us a 9 year olds (again) we wanted it more than them. More corners came in, more chances. Then the moment we were all waiting for Ballsy takes a short corner to Mej, Mej sends in a near perfect cross and Johnny can’t quite grow enough to get over the header and guided it wide (which to be fair was all he could have done, bloody short people)
We (me) then switched off a bit and a few chances fell to GPR which they should have taken but for the quality of Eddy in the sticks, before we knew it the whistle had gone 3-2 GPR.
Positives: Understrength and unknown team played some decent stuff at times and effort was good. Made chances from set pieces and defended high balls relatively well. Coyley got a new catchphrase.
Negatives: Lost.
Overall some good games out there, stand-out performance outfield from Johnny with good running and skills down the right just not able to get the crosses over due to solid defending, but it’ll come. Micah almost won MOM from the sidelines with his shouting 12th man performance also for taking the kit again (someone else next time please lads). But MOM has to go to Eddy for some top saves and good presence in the box, could have been out of it early in the second without the big man, well played sir.
I apologise for my centre back performance, I think the shot to the love spuds was some divine justice for allowing them through so many times. Also had my t shirt nicked/taken by accident so if anyone finds a dark blue T-Shirt with ‘Cougars’ written on it, it’s mine you thieving git! (only joking, I’ll have it back next game please). Also I had to look after a woman this week (not you Iain) so will be back on the social secretary scene next week where we can get a few more of us down the pub post match.
Big shout to Hudson who played well but has not received a mention at all in the blog because he a) kept his temper and b) didn’t injury himself. Well done resident evil, we salute you (and well done whoever spiked him with depressants before the game).
Special mention to Sophie and Vicki for their support and presenting of individual bags of haribo after the game. You’re welcome everytime.
Sunday 28 September 2008
Pre-season friendly vs Fowlers, Mile End, 25 Sept 08
Now then
Here we are again, another season for the Alliance, another lacklustre performance and drubbing I suppose? Oh no not here. Not the new Alliance, under the stewardship of Coyley, not these days.
A bumper turn out which bodes well for the season with a new signing - Jonesy - and a couple of returning old boys in Darty, Hudson and Chris G respectively - making appearances in an Alliance shirt (which we are led to believe may change before the start of the season if we can invoke the overdraft facilities of our bank account quickly enough).
Coyley gave one of his now infamous team talks, wearing the captain's armband, and while Dai as vice captain was doing up his laces and rubbing in his deep throat, I mean heat, lined the 'new look' Alliance up like so:
Smithy in goals, Johnny at right back, the partnership of Dai and Chris restored at the back and Colin on the left gave us a solid back five. In midfield, veteran Dan Monahan sat in front of the defence allowing Crouchy and Coyley to push on, with Iain and Micah running the flanks with Darty leading the line (or waddling around up front). The team knew they had to perform as in Coyley's new regime no one is safe. Johnny was told he would be subbed at half time before even kicking a ball in anger! Waiting in the wings was a Stuppley, a Hudsony, Woody and a Jonesy.
In the first half, it was quite tight, neither team giving much quarter. The 4-3-3 Coyley formation held up well, as did the defence who were valiant in their efforts to thwart the danger of the opposition's strike force. We had a few frights but Smithy was more than a match for any attempts on goal. In terms of attacking we showed signs of creativity, some strong running by Darty up front, Iain dropping deep and Johnny from right back managing to keep their trickiest player quiet while marauding up the wing. We had a few chances but nothing materialised until Iain got on the end of one and squeezed one in from a tight angle, at least that's how it looked from in goals as we thought it had gone wide. 1-0 Alliance against a first division side. Just before the break Darty was substituted for Hudson, after a clumsy run into the box, Darty lost control and slid into try and force the ball over the line injurying himself in the process.
Half time and quiet contentment for the Alliance. A few changes are made with Micah coming off for Jonesy and Paul coming off for Woody, with Pete coming on for Colin at left back and Hudson barely on for a few seconds in the first half had a half to prove to the boss he'd still got it. Similar stuff in the second but with Fowlers pushing hard for an equaliser there was more pressure on the defence. Temperatures rose with a few flare ups, and with Hudson putting himself about substantially in a way only Hudson knows how. To the point where some idiot baldy on their team started suggesting Hudson should be substituted. Undeterred Hudson continued reckless tackle after reckless tackle.
Somewhere in the middle of this the pressure told. A free kick conceded, a low free kick that escaped the wall bouncing just in front of Micah who did well to save (who by now had as you may have gathered replaced Smithy in goals, who in turned replaced Johnny at right back) but unfortunately spilled the rebound and their strikers were quicker to the ball than us lot and they equalised. Why dont we hit low balls at the keeper and follow them in? Note that one everyone. 1-1 and the natural balance of things for the Alliance. But with Woody and Jonesy pulling the strings we started opening them up as they pressed for a winner. Quite a few attacks later and somewhere a long the line Paul got a tap in and it's 2-1. More of that this season please. A quick response to conceding. Magic. With a few minutes to go with the Fowlers giving up after rebuff after rebuff from the Alliance defence, including some good saves from Micah, Woody put Jonesy into a goal scoring position (I think) and Jonesy smashed it in with the keeper barely moving.
Meanwhile on Planet Hudson, at this point the score being 1-1, Woody set Hudson off on a run to the edge of the penalty area sliding in to knock it past the keeper. The bald guy, abusing Hudson from the stands, came into challenge and fell on top of Hudson who had managed to rub his head a long the astro turf leaving him bloody headed and a swollen eyebrow. Hudson made way for Paul to come back on who eventually scored to make it 2-1. Hmmm this paragraph should have come earlier, oh well.
And that was that. A welcome and morale boosting win for the Alliance - more of this if you please gentlemen.
Coyley got the Alliance's season off to a cracker in a Kevin Peterson style way - but like KP it will be the bad times where Coyley has to prove his worth.
MOM spoils are shared between Johnny and Jonesy respectively.
God bless you Alliance.
Here we are again, another season for the Alliance, another lacklustre performance and drubbing I suppose? Oh no not here. Not the new Alliance, under the stewardship of Coyley, not these days.
A bumper turn out which bodes well for the season with a new signing - Jonesy - and a couple of returning old boys in Darty, Hudson and Chris G respectively - making appearances in an Alliance shirt (which we are led to believe may change before the start of the season if we can invoke the overdraft facilities of our bank account quickly enough).
Coyley gave one of his now infamous team talks, wearing the captain's armband, and while Dai as vice captain was doing up his laces and rubbing in his deep throat, I mean heat, lined the 'new look' Alliance up like so:
Smithy in goals, Johnny at right back, the partnership of Dai and Chris restored at the back and Colin on the left gave us a solid back five. In midfield, veteran Dan Monahan sat in front of the defence allowing Crouchy and Coyley to push on, with Iain and Micah running the flanks with Darty leading the line (or waddling around up front). The team knew they had to perform as in Coyley's new regime no one is safe. Johnny was told he would be subbed at half time before even kicking a ball in anger! Waiting in the wings was a Stuppley, a Hudsony, Woody and a Jonesy.
In the first half, it was quite tight, neither team giving much quarter. The 4-3-3 Coyley formation held up well, as did the defence who were valiant in their efforts to thwart the danger of the opposition's strike force. We had a few frights but Smithy was more than a match for any attempts on goal. In terms of attacking we showed signs of creativity, some strong running by Darty up front, Iain dropping deep and Johnny from right back managing to keep their trickiest player quiet while marauding up the wing. We had a few chances but nothing materialised until Iain got on the end of one and squeezed one in from a tight angle, at least that's how it looked from in goals as we thought it had gone wide. 1-0 Alliance against a first division side. Just before the break Darty was substituted for Hudson, after a clumsy run into the box, Darty lost control and slid into try and force the ball over the line injurying himself in the process.
Half time and quiet contentment for the Alliance. A few changes are made with Micah coming off for Jonesy and Paul coming off for Woody, with Pete coming on for Colin at left back and Hudson barely on for a few seconds in the first half had a half to prove to the boss he'd still got it. Similar stuff in the second but with Fowlers pushing hard for an equaliser there was more pressure on the defence. Temperatures rose with a few flare ups, and with Hudson putting himself about substantially in a way only Hudson knows how. To the point where some idiot baldy on their team started suggesting Hudson should be substituted. Undeterred Hudson continued reckless tackle after reckless tackle.
Somewhere in the middle of this the pressure told. A free kick conceded, a low free kick that escaped the wall bouncing just in front of Micah who did well to save (who by now had as you may have gathered replaced Smithy in goals, who in turned replaced Johnny at right back) but unfortunately spilled the rebound and their strikers were quicker to the ball than us lot and they equalised. Why dont we hit low balls at the keeper and follow them in? Note that one everyone. 1-1 and the natural balance of things for the Alliance. But with Woody and Jonesy pulling the strings we started opening them up as they pressed for a winner. Quite a few attacks later and somewhere a long the line Paul got a tap in and it's 2-1. More of that this season please. A quick response to conceding. Magic. With a few minutes to go with the Fowlers giving up after rebuff after rebuff from the Alliance defence, including some good saves from Micah, Woody put Jonesy into a goal scoring position (I think) and Jonesy smashed it in with the keeper barely moving.
Meanwhile on Planet Hudson, at this point the score being 1-1, Woody set Hudson off on a run to the edge of the penalty area sliding in to knock it past the keeper. The bald guy, abusing Hudson from the stands, came into challenge and fell on top of Hudson who had managed to rub his head a long the astro turf leaving him bloody headed and a swollen eyebrow. Hudson made way for Paul to come back on who eventually scored to make it 2-1. Hmmm this paragraph should have come earlier, oh well.
And that was that. A welcome and morale boosting win for the Alliance - more of this if you please gentlemen.
Coyley got the Alliance's season off to a cracker in a Kevin Peterson style way - but like KP it will be the bad times where Coyley has to prove his worth.
MOM spoils are shared between Johnny and Jonesy respectively.
God bless you Alliance.
Tuesday 20 May 2008
15th May Strollers (H) @ Market Road by Coyely
Well fuck me, here I am about to lose my blog virginity, which has been a long time coming, so try and stay with me for my post match scrutiny. Not a bad turn out for a Thursday night with a crew of 13, which gave us a chance to test out 2 new lads in Medge and Johhny.
Paul turned up early doors, only to bump in to old Irish, John the ref who was off down to the bookies for a quick punt before the game, in a bid to carry on his winning streak after having won a £50 spot the previous Saturday in our normal drinking hideaway. Then the lads started turning in with Pete, Iain & Simon arriving at the scene followed by Jeff who I berated for selling me one of the famed, dodgy porn lighters, which broke the next day as I tried to light my Sunday night BBQ. Still though, the female projection, however unclear her muff might be, was the subject of many a laugh last Saturday night.
Bernie gave the reigns to Paul this week and let him deploy his tinkerman skills by letting him choose the team. Due to a lack of centre halves, a makeshift back four was brought together, opting for the little and large combo through the Centre, with Woody & Simon who didn’t disappoint on the night.
Woody, who I thought cancelled his trip to
After deciding against a 3-5-2 formation at the last minute, we decided to go for a flat back 4 and run of the mill midfield and forward line with some positional changes. Jeff filled in as right back and looked strong all game, attacking down the flank and chasing back to defend against their tall number 6 on many occasion. Colin slipped in as left back who has improved alot in recent weeks with some decent tackling, more composure and at last some accurate throw ins!
I went for a standard twosome combination of Dan and Iain in the middle of the park and decided to give Pete the nod over Steve on the left, after I had forgotten which one of them was the natural left footer of the two. I tried Micah on the right this week to see how he faired and he put in a good first half performance with plenty of support for Jeff and some tough slide tackling down the flank. Having played 5 aside a few times with Madge….Midge or Medge – still not totally sure on which it is, but settled for Medge in the end, I tried him up front with yours truly.
The game started off fairly high tempo with good competition in midfield, good work down the right and the defence looking cosier than previous weeks. For the first half, we were looking the strongest by some solid challenging by Dan and Micah. We put pressure on their mid-field from the start and broke away down the flanks on a few occasions, with Paul and Medge exploiting the space on the wings, which allowed the wingers and full backs to push on. Jeff broke through on one notable occasion doing all the hard work in beating the full back, only for the cross to fall short. On the other wing, Pete put in a decent effort before getting a twinge in his thigh, which resulted in Steve taking up the berth on the left wing.
Steve made some good run’s down the left flank and won some flick on’s in the first half, including one lob over the defenders head that Paul latched on to and squandered on his left foot, with the keeper getting down well. Paul later returned the favour by swinging a deep ball in from the right with Steve connecting, but unable to turn goalwards. Strollers can play though and won several corners themselves, where they always posed a threat. It seemed as if they always had a man spare in midfield and a missed pass in the middle of the park led to their first goal which was slotted home nicely by one of their centre mid-fielders the one with the distinct Art Garfunkle-esque hair cut. Still, we pressured and charged down their players well and actually looked like we could hold the ball up for once, which allowed our midfield to get forward.
Then came the corners. We’ve been looking more and more dangerous from these the past couple of weeks with more movement, aggression and accuracy from Iain’s low in – swingers. Dan came close on a couple of occasions and a couple of goalmouth scrambles followed, which resulted in one of their defenders clearing from the line.
Half time and Jon the ref kept up with his weekly one liners by pointing out Bernie looked as if he was in a time warp in reference to his antique goal keeper jersey. A clear sign that we need to get some new kit in for next season. Jon had a good game though, making some good decisions including my booking for the horrendous challenge I made on their fullback. Maybe I’m getting too nice these days, as I actually apologized and tried to check on how badly I mullered his leg.
As the game progressed, the Strollers went on the offensive with a few chances being put through from their midfield, but Little and large combo at the back cleared well and kept themselves amused all game by counting who won the most headers. You were never gonna win that one Woody. Their bearded Brian Blessed look-alike kept trying to break through but was kept quiet by Simon with good cover from Jeff and Woody.
Time for a change and in came new debutant Johnny who came on for Medjey with Micah, who was gradually creeping up front for most of the game, switching to his favoured position as forward. We continually pressed on wards with Iain stringing some good moves together and Dan winning the majority of headers from kicks. New boy Johnny looked effective down the right wing and continually niggled away at their fullback and even had a few efforts on goal. Unfortunately, the deficit increased with another goal from Garfunkle with a delivery that looped over Woody’s head from a bouncing ball in to the box. Nevertheless, The Alliance kept plugging away with Bernie cancelling out their attacks with good marshalling from Simon and Woody.
Bernie exploited the space we had by rolling the balls out from the back to Jeff or one of our centre backs. A few darting runs from both Woody and Simon in defence helped us heap more pressure on the Strollers. More chances came. Johhny swung a good ball in not soon after coming on the pitch but Crouchie, clearly forgetting he was playing centre half for the day, headed ‘a well out Si’ over the bar. We were made to rue more missed chances with a ball spilling to Steve who made an excellent run in to the box only to sky over the bar. Eventually, our continual pressing resulted in another chance at the other end with Garfunkle completing his hat-trick for the night by knocking it over Bernie to make it 3-0.
At times we played like a team, getting in to space and spreading the ball around nicely. The forward line went flat for most of the second half, which was summed up by Micah’s overhead volley blazing over the bar and Paul’s under par performance was later exemplified by latching on to a sitter, but failing to convert after opting to drag it past the keeper on his left, rather than rounding the keeper in the dying minutes of the game. Looking back, we put in a performance against a team we are not a million miles off. This was clearly not a 3-0 game and on a different day, one of us would have scored from those corners and Simon, Steve and Paul would have put away their efforts. We are not a million miles away from being a good team and we can take that effort in to the final game of the season and build on it for the next.
Unfortunately, no beers after the game this time, just a long tube journey home to reflect what could have been had we fired on all cylinders. Back to the house to eat some comfort food (last nights pasta) & watch Sweaty Betty on C4, an interesting documentary about ladies who sweat too much. I’m gutted about finishing bottom of the league and suffering from end of season blues. It’s tough at the top but it’s crap at the bottom gentlemen. We’ve got one more game to try and put it right so lets put the effort in for the final game and make sure we are ready to compete for something for next season.
Check out my player ratings and MOM award below:
Bernie: Made some excellent saves in the first half and had the vision to play it out from the back over the course of the game. Should be playing out of nets.8/10 (
Colin: Some good tackling & tracking back. Better throw in’s but needs to look up and concentrate more when passing. 6/10
Jeff: Battled against an awkward winger all game & got forward with some excellent running. Passed more than usual. Strong contender for MOM. 8/10
Simon: Reluctant to take out of mid-field but put in a top performance at centre-half as expected. Marked their forward out of the game. Awesome in the air all game apart from the missed effort. 9/10
Woody: Great partnership with Simon at the back. Got in front of his man to win the ball all game and even won some headers against taller opponents. Tried to carry the ball out of defence which is great to see. 9/10
Pete: Looked lively early on collecting the ball from Colin and moving up the pitch but got a twinge early on. Final through ball could have been better on occasion. 6/10
Micah: Asked to play on the right and responded well with some tough challenging and effort going forward. Covered for Jeff well. Moved back up front but performance went flatter in the second half. 7/10
Iain: Much improved passing since last match and laid some nice balls to the wing. Delivery on corners and free kicks has been causing a lot of danger lately. Tends to zonal mark & takes up good positions when ball is held up. 8½ /10
Dan: Reliable as ever in the centre although not playing fully fit. Held ball up and won headers from kicks all game. A couple of good crossed passes in to the box. Likes his corners when he announces ‘Dan’s!’. 8/10
Medge: Okay debut from someone who hasn’t played a great deal of 11 –aside but is one of the silkiest players I’ve played with at 5-aside. Didn’t get much of the ball on the day & should have released earlier on occasion. 6/10
Paul: Fucking absolute shite. Held up a few balls and spread it to Iain on a couple of occasions. Missed 2 good chances on his left foot. Worst performance of the season, should’ve stayed home & played on Pro Evo. 5/10
Subs Used:
Steve: Came on and had a go at the full back from the start. Won some headers but needed to be stronger in the tackle at times. Had the best opportunity to score in the match. 7/10
Johhny: Great debut and some good running down the wing. Draws a foul now and again and had a couple of efforts on goal. Could have released the ball sooner on a few occasions. One for next season. 8/10
Subs not used: Are you having a laugh!?
Monday 12 May 2008
Saturday 10th May, Perfidious Albion @ Market Road
10th May 2008. Perfidious Albion @
2-4 Loss
We arrived to sweltering heat and Geoff (or Del Boy as he will now be known) trying to flog us Porno laser pens/lighters as he had picked up 1000 for 50 quid from the back of some truck. Having plunged the dressing room into darkness to show the projected ‘beauties’ in all their glory Coyley spent his match fees (not a euphemism) on five claiming they would make “canny gifts for the ladies”.
To the game: A half arsed warm up in the melting heat told us this was going to be a tough one and without President Bernie in nets the search for a keeper was on. Thankfully Dai asked the question, waited for the hands to fly up, and then inevitably ended up in goal himself. Woody at this time was getting a little nervous as to why there was no-one around at Kennington at 11.55, a quick ring to Coyley and he was thrashing his car northwards due to arrive before half time. So we line up 4-4-2 Dai in nets, Dan, Pete, Steve and Liam at the back, Midfield of Besty, Simon, Iain and Geoff, Micah and porn addict up front.
The game starts well, good movement and passes hitting feet for the first 30 maybe 40 seconds we even grab an early goal. Dan picks it up at the back, spots the gangly run of Evans and sends one over the top. Evans takes it in his stride, makes a massive meal of the effort and Micah knocks in the rebound off the far post, we’re cruising, and then it goes wrong.
Having had a bit of a session the night before Simon is dead on his feet after the early run and stops moving altogether. This leaves Iain holding the midfield on his own and while Geoff Besty and Simon are off looking for more goals the
John Hall introduces
Can’t remember much else about the first half as my eyeballs were sweating and I kept seeing a big beardy fella telling me to “walk towards the light my son”, might have been Dan telling me to “do some fucking work Simon”. Half time came and water was eagerly consumed. After spending my half time head under the tap I knew the game was up, once I could speak again I pathetically apologised to the team and pre-emptively subbed myself after 10 mins of the second half.
4-2 loss bad game all round and I apologise sincerely for going out boozing on Friday, I will accept disciplinary actions from the returning Bernie next week. MOM goes to Dai for going in nets and making some fine saves.
After the game all down to the Rosie McCann’s for a few joined by the ref who sneaked out to win 50 quid on the horses and then came back and bought us pints, big up John Hall. A few more pints go down and a spontaneous night out is organised between Coyley, Myself and Dai round Balham. I won’t bore you with the details but it involved a scary Polish nightclub, me drubbing the pair of them 3-0 at snooker, about 15 pints each and my last memory of the night was a room full of people looking up at the ceiling of the Bedford seeing a 15m2 image of a naked Thai Girl and Coyley holding his lighter grinning like a naughty schoolboy.
Tuesday 6 May 2008
Up for the cup: vs Wimbledon Allstars Thurs 24 May
And so it came to pass. The biggest game in the season for the Northern Alliance. A cup game against the might Allstars, Wimbledon Allstars at Paddington Rec.
We took it seriously - we'd talked tactics after the game the week before on the way to a place reasonably near oblivion by the end. We ran round the track accompanied by the ref. We huddled as Smithy called for togetherness, diginity and action. Paul quoted like Churchill. We were set for a belter.
The pitch was wet - it's known as the wet pitch so I suppose that's fair enough, but this was really wet. We lined up with original Alliance goalie, Hugh Fast, in between the sticks, with Smith at right back, Colin on the left, with Gibbsy and Dai as centre backs, then a midfield of Simon and Iain flanked by Besty and Dan, with Paul and Micah up front. Pete, Ketch and Woody on the bench. Thanks to the support of Kirsty and Janie (well part time support), plus Darty, Hudson and Steve.
The first half was tight, they had a lot of the possession with our lot occassionally breaking. they were playing better football but we were containing them. We had a few scares but nothing that Hugh hadnt seen plenty of times before. They had a few corners, we had the odd free kick and corner, they gave the odd rather unmanly scream and then they scored. I was ball watching and missed my header, this led to Dai missing his, which left Fast with no chances between the sticks 1-0.
Half time is up, and we're still in it to win, they are no where near as good as they used to be and their ginger haired danger man is no where to be seen (he actually wasnt playing as opposed to not being effective or having run off minutes before KO, if he did they didnt say, why would they?). We've got to have a go and we did, by heck we did. Again those green rubbers, were busily rubbing for the other side. Plenty of up and unders, and tussles in the box and a few chances to boot but nothing majorly clear cut from what I can remember. We had a period of 20 minutes where they were properly on the back foot - solid work from Micah, Paul and Dan to hold the ball up, create danger or win free kicks. Some great corners from Iain too. But we couldnt make it count, and they cleared to safety.
It was now or never, I thought 'with me on the pitch it's probably going to be never, with Ketch on the pitch it could be well I never' so on came Ketch in case there was a decent heading situation needing someone who is good at heading. We were still pushing but to no avail. Pete came on for Colin and we decided to go more or less three at the back. Pete doing a sterling job carrying the fight down the left, intercepting their attacks and sticking the ball forward.
We pushed too much, there was no point not doing that, and in fact we were a bit unlucky with ricochets for the second goal. And we knew then it was game over. We kept going and I think came quite close but it's a few weeks away now so I forget.
But there's no forgetting the third goal - it was captured on camera from the side lines, by this time we were down to two at the back with not a 'well out Dai' among us! See below:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GAU0D2-HgDI
And it did come to pass, right past us, 3-0 and game over. But we battled and played as a team, at one point I did a swivel and nearly trying to collect the ball from Hugh. Hudson found solace and a can of Kronenburg on the sidelines, and confessed to rather enjoying it. And then we all went to the pub and that's what really matters.
We took it seriously - we'd talked tactics after the game the week before on the way to a place reasonably near oblivion by the end. We ran round the track accompanied by the ref. We huddled as Smithy called for togetherness, diginity and action. Paul quoted like Churchill. We were set for a belter.
The pitch was wet - it's known as the wet pitch so I suppose that's fair enough, but this was really wet. We lined up with original Alliance goalie, Hugh Fast, in between the sticks, with Smith at right back, Colin on the left, with Gibbsy and Dai as centre backs, then a midfield of Simon and Iain flanked by Besty and Dan, with Paul and Micah up front. Pete, Ketch and Woody on the bench. Thanks to the support of Kirsty and Janie (well part time support), plus Darty, Hudson and Steve.
The first half was tight, they had a lot of the possession with our lot occassionally breaking. they were playing better football but we were containing them. We had a few scares but nothing that Hugh hadnt seen plenty of times before. They had a few corners, we had the odd free kick and corner, they gave the odd rather unmanly scream and then they scored. I was ball watching and missed my header, this led to Dai missing his, which left Fast with no chances between the sticks 1-0.
Half time is up, and we're still in it to win, they are no where near as good as they used to be and their ginger haired danger man is no where to be seen (he actually wasnt playing as opposed to not being effective or having run off minutes before KO, if he did they didnt say, why would they?). We've got to have a go and we did, by heck we did. Again those green rubbers, were busily rubbing for the other side. Plenty of up and unders, and tussles in the box and a few chances to boot but nothing majorly clear cut from what I can remember. We had a period of 20 minutes where they were properly on the back foot - solid work from Micah, Paul and Dan to hold the ball up, create danger or win free kicks. Some great corners from Iain too. But we couldnt make it count, and they cleared to safety.
It was now or never, I thought 'with me on the pitch it's probably going to be never, with Ketch on the pitch it could be well I never' so on came Ketch in case there was a decent heading situation needing someone who is good at heading. We were still pushing but to no avail. Pete came on for Colin and we decided to go more or less three at the back. Pete doing a sterling job carrying the fight down the left, intercepting their attacks and sticking the ball forward.
We pushed too much, there was no point not doing that, and in fact we were a bit unlucky with ricochets for the second goal. And we knew then it was game over. We kept going and I think came quite close but it's a few weeks away now so I forget.
But there's no forgetting the third goal - it was captured on camera from the side lines, by this time we were down to two at the back with not a 'well out Dai' among us! See below:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v
And it did come to pass, right past us, 3-0 and game over. But we battled and played as a team, at one point I did a swivel and nearly trying to collect the ball from Hugh. Hudson found solace and a can of Kronenburg on the sidelines, and confessed to rather enjoying it. And then we all went to the pub and that's what really matters.
Sunday 20 April 2008
Saturday 19th April: Shanty Town (A)
Roll the dream sequence:
I woke up on Sunday morning after a wonderful dream: I dreamt the Alliance had won comfortably and I had clean sheets, I dreamt that I'd drunk for 14 hours afterwards. I dreamt that I'd gone back to these girl's house (nothing happened, we just drank) and then got a taxi back to Dai's. I dreamt that I hid in the bed while that fat twat got himself ready for bed with a rather gay routine and singing before noticing I was hiding. I also dreamt I did the same thing in Nick's, Dai's housemate, bed, but unfortunately his mrs jumped in with just a pair of knickers on and I scared the shit out of her.
Then I woke up and realised it wasnt a dream, so made Dai a cup of tea and jumped in with him to catch the last 20 of some rather poor Sunday morning tv, badgering him to give me one of his pillows. He said no to start with but I pointed out he had a perfectly good pillow not currently in use so he was forced to concede. Honestly, some people.
So anyway, 3-0 and the Alliance gave a very resilient performance to give a sniff of not finishing bottom of the league and give us a moral boosting victory before the biggest game of the Alliance's season. It's shit or bust time in the league, luckily this week we remembered to take a massive shit and leave it at Shanty Town's doorstep again. For the third time this season we beat them by three clear goals and they currently lie third in the league. It was their last game of the season but they put in the effort but we held strong from the goal keeper (me) to the defence Guy (new player courtesy of Liam), Liam, Dai and Colin, plus the midfield of Jeffrey, Iain, Simon and Besty with the front men Paul and Micah. And with some expert tactical changes from yours truly I managed to introduce Dan, Pete and Hectar into the fray at more or less the right moments too.
First 25 minutes we were under loads of pressure and had the wind against us and although we had a few scrapes we dealt with it well through a mixture of dubious clearances, wastefulness on their part and a death defying save from Smithy at the feet of their strike force. Then we scored - it seemed like against the run of play (like watching Forest play Wednesday in the early 90s, we'd batter them all game, and then David Hirst would have two runs all game (See Performances by The Body 2002-2006) and score twice (Dont see Performances by The Body 2002-2006). Iain from the corner, Paul ran across the defence and sneaked in, in front of their defence to guide past the keeper. In the pocket. Bang. 1-0 (although Paul should have scored before then and should have completed his hat trick by half time but we wont mention that.) In terms of first half performances, Guy showed enough to suggest he's one for the future, Dai marshalled the back four better than he usually does, and Little and Large in central midfield had resumed normal service.
We had a chat at half time, things are going well and Paul has suggested going in a bit harder in the second half. And he backed this statement up by clearing out one of their wingers shortly after the interval. It seemed like 1-0 for a long time (that's because it was) and they had loads of corners mainly thanks to Colin's timely interventions when they were through on goal. I've swapped Dan for Jeffrey, who had one of his quieter games - saving himself for an epic performance in the cup no doubt - Dan got straight into the business of missing absolute sitters again. And I thought it was going to be one of those days again. But then we got a stone wall penalty - it looked like that from where I was but Paul assures me it was. He stepped up - despite having turned down the chance of hat trick in the first half - and put it in although the keeper had a fair chance to save it. 2-0. That's 10 goals for the season according to Paul - although I'll wait for the league stats.
Time for another sub - we took the opportunity to wrap some of our stars up in cotton wool for Thursday's cup game so Besty and Micah were relieved of their duties - enter Pete and Hectar respectively. As well as an array of injured Alliance members on the side lines including Darty, Hudson and Chris G to lead the choruses of 'Well out Dai's' as we battled to keep smithy in clean sheets. Even Jesus turned up to try and put one in the onion bag but Smithy had it covered. Smithy also set up the third goal, a measured long ball to Dan put him through down the right, a great pass to Peter, who took his time and planted in the third with a well measured strike. Jurassic Park.
So that was the end of that. 3-0 and a solid performance boding well for the cup game.
This week's MOM is Colin who put in his best performance in an Alliance shirt - making countless vital interventions in the second half putting him in contention, a long with the rest of you, for the a gold and black vest on Thursday.
We had a good drink in the pub, the first for a while, with Hudson resuming his life long unrequieted love affair with John Hall in the corner of the pub while the rest of us watched the football. After a few pints, John nipped off for his 4pm match. Nice work.
I woke up on Sunday morning after a wonderful dream: I dreamt the Alliance had won comfortably and I had clean sheets, I dreamt that I'd drunk for 14 hours afterwards. I dreamt that I'd gone back to these girl's house (nothing happened, we just drank) and then got a taxi back to Dai's. I dreamt that I hid in the bed while that fat twat got himself ready for bed with a rather gay routine and singing before noticing I was hiding. I also dreamt I did the same thing in Nick's, Dai's housemate, bed, but unfortunately his mrs jumped in with just a pair of knickers on and I scared the shit out of her.
Then I woke up and realised it wasnt a dream, so made Dai a cup of tea and jumped in with him to catch the last 20 of some rather poor Sunday morning tv, badgering him to give me one of his pillows. He said no to start with but I pointed out he had a perfectly good pillow not currently in use so he was forced to concede. Honestly, some people.
So anyway, 3-0 and the Alliance gave a very resilient performance to give a sniff of not finishing bottom of the league and give us a moral boosting victory before the biggest game of the Alliance's season. It's shit or bust time in the league, luckily this week we remembered to take a massive shit and leave it at Shanty Town's doorstep again. For the third time this season we beat them by three clear goals and they currently lie third in the league. It was their last game of the season but they put in the effort but we held strong from the goal keeper (me) to the defence Guy (new player courtesy of Liam), Liam, Dai and Colin, plus the midfield of Jeffrey, Iain, Simon and Besty with the front men Paul and Micah. And with some expert tactical changes from yours truly I managed to introduce Dan, Pete and Hectar into the fray at more or less the right moments too.
First 25 minutes we were under loads of pressure and had the wind against us and although we had a few scrapes we dealt with it well through a mixture of dubious clearances, wastefulness on their part and a death defying save from Smithy at the feet of their strike force. Then we scored - it seemed like against the run of play (like watching Forest play Wednesday in the early 90s, we'd batter them all game, and then David Hirst would have two runs all game (See Performances by The Body 2002-2006) and score twice (Dont see Performances by The Body 2002-2006). Iain from the corner, Paul ran across the defence and sneaked in, in front of their defence to guide past the keeper. In the pocket. Bang. 1-0 (although Paul should have scored before then and should have completed his hat trick by half time but we wont mention that.) In terms of first half performances, Guy showed enough to suggest he's one for the future, Dai marshalled the back four better than he usually does, and Little and Large in central midfield had resumed normal service.
We had a chat at half time, things are going well and Paul has suggested going in a bit harder in the second half. And he backed this statement up by clearing out one of their wingers shortly after the interval. It seemed like 1-0 for a long time (that's because it was) and they had loads of corners mainly thanks to Colin's timely interventions when they were through on goal. I've swapped Dan for Jeffrey, who had one of his quieter games - saving himself for an epic performance in the cup no doubt - Dan got straight into the business of missing absolute sitters again. And I thought it was going to be one of those days again. But then we got a stone wall penalty - it looked like that from where I was but Paul assures me it was. He stepped up - despite having turned down the chance of hat trick in the first half - and put it in although the keeper had a fair chance to save it. 2-0. That's 10 goals for the season according to Paul - although I'll wait for the league stats.
Time for another sub - we took the opportunity to wrap some of our stars up in cotton wool for Thursday's cup game so Besty and Micah were relieved of their duties - enter Pete and Hectar respectively. As well as an array of injured Alliance members on the side lines including Darty, Hudson and Chris G to lead the choruses of 'Well out Dai's' as we battled to keep smithy in clean sheets. Even Jesus turned up to try and put one in the onion bag but Smithy had it covered. Smithy also set up the third goal, a measured long ball to Dan put him through down the right, a great pass to Peter, who took his time and planted in the third with a well measured strike. Jurassic Park.
So that was the end of that. 3-0 and a solid performance boding well for the cup game.
This week's MOM is Colin who put in his best performance in an Alliance shirt - making countless vital interventions in the second half putting him in contention, a long with the rest of you, for the a gold and black vest on Thursday.
We had a good drink in the pub, the first for a while, with Hudson resuming his life long unrequieted love affair with John Hall in the corner of the pub while the rest of us watched the football. After a few pints, John nipped off for his 4pm match. Nice work.
Monday 14 April 2008
Sunday 13th April Away vs Perfidious Albion
Now then, another weekend, another game, another missed opportunity.
Our play mirrored the weather, at times bright and breezy at others wet as fuck. This is how far we've come as a team - we used to turn Perfidious Albion over most times we played them, now we dont. To be fair, they've had some new players come into there team and this year's a strange year. FC National beat Strollers (the team who beat us 6-0 the other week) on the top pitch at Market Road while we played.
So we lined up with Smithy in goals, with Dai (skipper for the day) at right back, Eddie and Liam at centre back, with Pete at left back. We went for, what looks now like a rather optimistic 4-3-3 with Jeffrey, Iain and Steve in midfield, with Besty, Micah and Dan who will be known as New Dan, as he is a friend of Iain's as opposed to Dan if you get me.
It was raining heavily and I was doign my best drowned rat impression. The rest of the defence were doing there 'not sure what I'm doing in defence' impression, and like me they had it down pat in the first half as we let in three goals. Again, like many other teams we play, we made them look far far better than they actually are. They appear to have got a few new players who made a difference but nothing we couldnt handle. We were swamped in midfield and 4-3-3 was looking rash. I'd mentioned how we'd revert to 4-4-2 if things werent going well. By 3-0 and half time it was a bit too late for all that. They got the rub of the green and Dai, skipper for the day, flicked one into his own net. So every cloud has a silver lining I suppose. I dont really remember much of a threat at the other end - a few corners, and off target shots, the odd decent move but it was one way traffic. Iain was the lollipop lady trying to placate a load of screaming children rushing by.
Second half, an the ingenius tactical switch came but alas too late. We played a 4-4-2 and were a bit more solid for it. We had the odd scare but with Smithy in goal nonchantly flicking them over when required it was in safe hands. We started threatening there goal more, particularly with the introduction of Dan, replacing Besty, to play with new Dan and Micah. Iain started making us tick with a bit more support in the middle, from Jeffrey, and we were opening them up. they were doing the same but at 3-0 it was worth taking a few risks. And besides, Liam and Dai would give some 'well out Dai', Pete was battling hard on the left and Eddie was more settled at right back, occassionally employed to leather one into orbit from the goal kick. Our pressure told and after a few cracks on goal, Jeffrey, in front of Mrs No.2 or is it 3 or 4?) caught a beauty on the volley and the keeper never moved. With 5 minutes to go, at this stage we could only claim to take the half, as we'd done the last time we played.
MOM - I think it was a unanimous decision that Iain was head and shoulders above the rest this week with tireless running and thoughtful passing (obviously been studying my game).
So 3-1 it ended and I think we're bottom. Never fear it's Shanty Town this week! Hudson - are you ready for the fight again?
This week's top recommendations - Whitest Boy Alive, Guillemots, Joy Division, The Black Kids and ovguide.com - you can basically watch anything you like from TV or film on this website but you cant download it. Sounds like a 10-4 to me chaps.
Our play mirrored the weather, at times bright and breezy at others wet as fuck. This is how far we've come as a team - we used to turn Perfidious Albion over most times we played them, now we dont. To be fair, they've had some new players come into there team and this year's a strange year. FC National beat Strollers (the team who beat us 6-0 the other week) on the top pitch at Market Road while we played.
So we lined up with Smithy in goals, with Dai (skipper for the day) at right back, Eddie and Liam at centre back, with Pete at left back. We went for, what looks now like a rather optimistic 4-3-3 with Jeffrey, Iain and Steve in midfield, with Besty, Micah and Dan who will be known as New Dan, as he is a friend of Iain's as opposed to Dan if you get me.
It was raining heavily and I was doign my best drowned rat impression. The rest of the defence were doing there 'not sure what I'm doing in defence' impression, and like me they had it down pat in the first half as we let in three goals. Again, like many other teams we play, we made them look far far better than they actually are. They appear to have got a few new players who made a difference but nothing we couldnt handle. We were swamped in midfield and 4-3-3 was looking rash. I'd mentioned how we'd revert to 4-4-2 if things werent going well. By 3-0 and half time it was a bit too late for all that. They got the rub of the green and Dai, skipper for the day, flicked one into his own net. So every cloud has a silver lining I suppose. I dont really remember much of a threat at the other end - a few corners, and off target shots, the odd decent move but it was one way traffic. Iain was the lollipop lady trying to placate a load of screaming children rushing by.
Second half, an the ingenius tactical switch came but alas too late. We played a 4-4-2 and were a bit more solid for it. We had the odd scare but with Smithy in goal nonchantly flicking them over when required it was in safe hands. We started threatening there goal more, particularly with the introduction of Dan, replacing Besty, to play with new Dan and Micah. Iain started making us tick with a bit more support in the middle, from Jeffrey, and we were opening them up. they were doing the same but at 3-0 it was worth taking a few risks. And besides, Liam and Dai would give some 'well out Dai', Pete was battling hard on the left and Eddie was more settled at right back, occassionally employed to leather one into orbit from the goal kick. Our pressure told and after a few cracks on goal, Jeffrey, in front of Mrs No.2 or is it 3 or 4?) caught a beauty on the volley and the keeper never moved. With 5 minutes to go, at this stage we could only claim to take the half, as we'd done the last time we played.
MOM - I think it was a unanimous decision that Iain was head and shoulders above the rest this week with tireless running and thoughtful passing (obviously been studying my game).
So 3-1 it ended and I think we're bottom. Never fear it's Shanty Town this week! Hudson - are you ready for the fight again?
This week's top recommendations - Whitest Boy Alive, Guillemots, Joy Division, The Black Kids and ovguide.com - you can basically watch anything you like from TV or film on this website but you cant download it. Sounds like a 10-4 to me chaps.
Sunday 30 March 2008
30th March Home vs Strollers
Speaking to Dai after the game he pointed out that the Strollers pretty much strolled it. Which to be fair they did. I'm not going to hang around on here rolling out the funnies, making light work of what a ball ache running a Sunday football team can be when me inclination to be organised is slightly higher than my inclination to be intruded by a large Russian or being made to eat your own shit, or worse still someone else's.
So with that in mind. We lost the first half 5-0 - a mixture of them passing their way round us easily, a bit of luck, a few howlers and making it hard for ourselves.
Second half, Jeff had been on the side and we put some plans in place to play some football, restore some pride and limit the already considerable damage. 2-2. We are going to have to start scouting other teams' matches at this rate. Paul scored a great goal and the second was quite good too. About the only positives really - so MOM for Paul this week for battling all through the game. Gibbsy and Simon also deserve a mention. Also it was a welcome return for Chris G, Besty and Hectar Fahey if not such a happy result.
So for the stupid amongst you (which would include me if I wasnt writing this) we lost 7-2. We are always going to lose 7-2 to a team who does a warm down after the game.
For the record it was me in goal, Hectar at right back, Gibbsy and Chris G in the middle of defence with Besty at left back, Pete on the left wing, Iain on the right wing, Woody and Simon in central midfield, Micah and Paul up front. At half time we moved to a 3-5-2 with Jeff coming on for HF, and moving into midfield and Liam swapping with Chris G.
We've got a chance to put it right next week against the same team. Let it not be such a stroll this time please...
So with that in mind. We lost the first half 5-0 - a mixture of them passing their way round us easily, a bit of luck, a few howlers and making it hard for ourselves.
Second half, Jeff had been on the side and we put some plans in place to play some football, restore some pride and limit the already considerable damage. 2-2. We are going to have to start scouting other teams' matches at this rate. Paul scored a great goal and the second was quite good too. About the only positives really - so MOM for Paul this week for battling all through the game. Gibbsy and Simon also deserve a mention. Also it was a welcome return for Chris G, Besty and Hectar Fahey if not such a happy result.
So for the stupid amongst you (which would include me if I wasnt writing this) we lost 7-2. We are always going to lose 7-2 to a team who does a warm down after the game.
For the record it was me in goal, Hectar at right back, Gibbsy and Chris G in the middle of defence with Besty at left back, Pete on the left wing, Iain on the right wing, Woody and Simon in central midfield, Micah and Paul up front. At half time we moved to a 3-5-2 with Jeff coming on for HF, and moving into midfield and Liam swapping with Chris G.
We've got a chance to put it right next week against the same team. Let it not be such a stroll this time please...
Sunday 16 March 2008
March 16: Northern Alliance vs GPR
Let me take you back roughly a day. It’s 9am Sunday morning, I’ve just got home, after narrowly avoiding shitting my pants on the way back from Dai’s place where I’d been indulging in curry, beers and silly cigarettes (See an additional chapter in the 2008 reprint of ‘Well out Dai – a season with the Northern Alliance and some’ entitled ‘These smell more like mixed herbs than draw Bernie’). It’s about ten minutes from the bus stop and I really thought I was going to completely shit myself, on my own road, minutes from my flat. Not pleasant.
Neither was the weather (good link from one paragraph to another I thought), I’ve a text and a phone call and we’re down to 9. It’s hammering it down outside and there’s two Premiership games on the box later, I’m in bed and it’s warm, but not a wet warm thankfully. I’m minutes from calling it off and settling down for a relaxing wank when I get an interruption. It’s Paul on the blower.
‘Alright Bernie’, ‘Alright Paul’, ‘how many we got?’, ‘We’ve only got 9, me, you, your mate, Jeff, his mate, Tommy, Iain, Micah, Gibbsy, and Liam. Ooh hang on a minute, that might be 10, I may have miscounted. Me, you, Jeff, his mate, you and your mate, Gibbsy, Liam, Micah, Tommy and me. Yep 10’
‘We cannae play with 10’ (that’s Paul by the way, I hadn’t just become a professional Geordie). ‘No, but we are’ against my better judgement. Next thing I know Dan’s bringing his boots despite being on crutches and we’ve got a 11. Bring it on.
At the ground, everyone is there just about, but no Micah. Luckily, John, a chap hanging around near our goal, piped up and said he was up for a game so we started with me in goal, John at left back, Flec (at right back, Jeff’s mate), Gibbsy and Liam at centre back, with a four across midfield of Jeffrey, Richie (Paul’s mate), Iain and Tommy, with Paul and Dan up front. It’s windy and rainy, and frankly standing in goal was no fun, and I thought we were 2-1 odds on for a real hiding from GPR.
The first half wasn’t much to write home about (and frankly I think my mother would see to it that I’d becoming straight home, and never going out again, if she’d read the above content, and therefore I wouldn’t need to write home at all). Micah turned up and decided to bollock the whole team for a good 30 minutes. Well done Micah. They scored two goals – one was unfortunate, a rebound went to their striker’s head who duly stuck it further enough away from me for to contemplate a dive. 1-0. Second goal was sloppy and poor, and I probably should have come for the corner but ball watched as did everyone else and the aforementioned striker stuck it away with his head again. We’d played some decent stuff, but without really threatening. John was making inroads down the left, and clearly had played before, as he glided past the opposition with consummate ease.
Crucially, they’d had the wind in the first half. And at Kennington, as we’ve found to our cost this season, that has some bearing on the end result. I assume Paul won the toss, and chose it like that. So well done Paul. Half time – Jeff’s getting ear ache from his mrs about the cold so he comes off for Micah and we go 4-3-3 with Micah taking the third striking birth, and bringing his bollockings on to the pitch. After making copious notes in the first half, Micah had outlined to the boys who was causing us problems and if we shut them out we’d have a chance. A career in football management lies ahead for this lad when he hangs his boots up.
Second half was a completely different story. A new power was rising in the shape of a 4-3-3. Gibbsy announced to me that he wanted to stick it to them. Suddenly it was a class war too. Apart from a few break aways, and one in particular early on in the second half where their striker should have made it three and claimed his hat trick, the Alliance had the power play. Tommy, Dan and Paul linked up well. Flec, Gibbsy and Liam had it sorted at the back which allowed John several forays up the left to provide us another attacking angle with Iain and Richie winning the midfield battle. GPR didn’t want it. Spurred on by Micah, the Alliance did. And the game started to turn. After some neat play, Paul was put through and he finished with a cool finish the like of which his play has not seen in recent weeks. 2-1 and GPR were losing it, they’d dropped deep and allowed us to come on to them. Plus the wind also helped. We had several chances – Paul, Dan, Iain, Tommy were all having a go. Dan particularly should have cleaned up – not showing many signs of a man with ligament damage. The pain goes away when you are through on goal…
I think it was a corner or may be a cross, after a corner had been cleared. A flick possibly and Richie’s in at the back post. 2-2 and there’s enough time to win it. And lose it too. GPR has switched back on and were causing us a few problems although we were still stronger. Their keeper has had to pull off a couple of decent saves. Then there’s a scramble in their box, with Dan at the centre of it. He’s lobbed the keeper in the middle of a hand ball claim to score. But the ref had already blown for a hand ball but decides to give a free kick outside the box despite the fact I could tell from the other end it was in the box. GPR kept very quiet. They knew they’d got lucky with that.
It was all getting passionate out there. Paul and his mate Richie didn’t start tonguing or anything but Micah was inspiring the boys, less with his play more with his encouragements, to press home the advantage. At one point, I thought we’d turned into Green Oak Moreton as Tommy, Iain, Micah and Dan got involved in an internal bust up. Passions were high. We could take our second successive 3 points to boost us up the league.
We didn’t though. We came close. John had a free kick tipped round the post, we had a few corners were we went close, plus he had a mazy run in their box and Micah put one just over the bar too.
At the end it was 2-2. A proud day for the Alliance. A moral victory scored. Eton Riffles if you will. And like Micah Capello said at the end – give yourselves a round of applause, that’s a great come back (to be fair I’m probably paraphrasing some Churchill inspired prose!). And he may or may not have said this but essentially the sentiment was that we should be proud of our performance this week.
MOM this week goes to Liam who was very solid at the back. Although there were many solid performances. Also big thanks to Richie, who scored and was quietly effective with probing passes, and Flec, who look like he’d played there all day (in fact he had, it was his second 90 minutes in a matter of hours), and John, who hopefully we’ll see again.
Neither was the weather (good link from one paragraph to another I thought), I’ve a text and a phone call and we’re down to 9. It’s hammering it down outside and there’s two Premiership games on the box later, I’m in bed and it’s warm, but not a wet warm thankfully. I’m minutes from calling it off and settling down for a relaxing wank when I get an interruption. It’s Paul on the blower.
‘Alright Bernie’, ‘Alright Paul’, ‘how many we got?’, ‘We’ve only got 9, me, you, your mate, Jeff, his mate, Tommy, Iain, Micah, Gibbsy, and Liam. Ooh hang on a minute, that might be 10, I may have miscounted. Me, you, Jeff, his mate, you and your mate, Gibbsy, Liam, Micah, Tommy and me. Yep 10’
‘We cannae play with 10’ (that’s Paul by the way, I hadn’t just become a professional Geordie). ‘No, but we are’ against my better judgement. Next thing I know Dan’s bringing his boots despite being on crutches and we’ve got a 11. Bring it on.
At the ground, everyone is there just about, but no Micah. Luckily, John, a chap hanging around near our goal, piped up and said he was up for a game so we started with me in goal, John at left back, Flec (at right back, Jeff’s mate), Gibbsy and Liam at centre back, with a four across midfield of Jeffrey, Richie (Paul’s mate), Iain and Tommy, with Paul and Dan up front. It’s windy and rainy, and frankly standing in goal was no fun, and I thought we were 2-1 odds on for a real hiding from GPR.
The first half wasn’t much to write home about (and frankly I think my mother would see to it that I’d becoming straight home, and never going out again, if she’d read the above content, and therefore I wouldn’t need to write home at all). Micah turned up and decided to bollock the whole team for a good 30 minutes. Well done Micah. They scored two goals – one was unfortunate, a rebound went to their striker’s head who duly stuck it further enough away from me for to contemplate a dive. 1-0. Second goal was sloppy and poor, and I probably should have come for the corner but ball watched as did everyone else and the aforementioned striker stuck it away with his head again. We’d played some decent stuff, but without really threatening. John was making inroads down the left, and clearly had played before, as he glided past the opposition with consummate ease.
Crucially, they’d had the wind in the first half. And at Kennington, as we’ve found to our cost this season, that has some bearing on the end result. I assume Paul won the toss, and chose it like that. So well done Paul. Half time – Jeff’s getting ear ache from his mrs about the cold so he comes off for Micah and we go 4-3-3 with Micah taking the third striking birth, and bringing his bollockings on to the pitch. After making copious notes in the first half, Micah had outlined to the boys who was causing us problems and if we shut them out we’d have a chance. A career in football management lies ahead for this lad when he hangs his boots up.
Second half was a completely different story. A new power was rising in the shape of a 4-3-3. Gibbsy announced to me that he wanted to stick it to them. Suddenly it was a class war too. Apart from a few break aways, and one in particular early on in the second half where their striker should have made it three and claimed his hat trick, the Alliance had the power play. Tommy, Dan and Paul linked up well. Flec, Gibbsy and Liam had it sorted at the back which allowed John several forays up the left to provide us another attacking angle with Iain and Richie winning the midfield battle. GPR didn’t want it. Spurred on by Micah, the Alliance did. And the game started to turn. After some neat play, Paul was put through and he finished with a cool finish the like of which his play has not seen in recent weeks. 2-1 and GPR were losing it, they’d dropped deep and allowed us to come on to them. Plus the wind also helped. We had several chances – Paul, Dan, Iain, Tommy were all having a go. Dan particularly should have cleaned up – not showing many signs of a man with ligament damage. The pain goes away when you are through on goal…
I think it was a corner or may be a cross, after a corner had been cleared. A flick possibly and Richie’s in at the back post. 2-2 and there’s enough time to win it. And lose it too. GPR has switched back on and were causing us a few problems although we were still stronger. Their keeper has had to pull off a couple of decent saves. Then there’s a scramble in their box, with Dan at the centre of it. He’s lobbed the keeper in the middle of a hand ball claim to score. But the ref had already blown for a hand ball but decides to give a free kick outside the box despite the fact I could tell from the other end it was in the box. GPR kept very quiet. They knew they’d got lucky with that.
It was all getting passionate out there. Paul and his mate Richie didn’t start tonguing or anything but Micah was inspiring the boys, less with his play more with his encouragements, to press home the advantage. At one point, I thought we’d turned into Green Oak Moreton as Tommy, Iain, Micah and Dan got involved in an internal bust up. Passions were high. We could take our second successive 3 points to boost us up the league.
We didn’t though. We came close. John had a free kick tipped round the post, we had a few corners were we went close, plus he had a mazy run in their box and Micah put one just over the bar too.
At the end it was 2-2. A proud day for the Alliance. A moral victory scored. Eton Riffles if you will. And like Micah Capello said at the end – give yourselves a round of applause, that’s a great come back (to be fair I’m probably paraphrasing some Churchill inspired prose!). And he may or may not have said this but essentially the sentiment was that we should be proud of our performance this week.
MOM this week goes to Liam who was very solid at the back. Although there were many solid performances. Also big thanks to Richie, who scored and was quietly effective with probing passes, and Flec, who look like he’d played there all day (in fact he had, it was his second 90 minutes in a matter of hours), and John, who hopefully we’ll see again.
Sunday 9 March 2008
Saturday 8th March: vs Perfidious Albion (a) at Market Road
Yet again, the games come thick and fast for the Alliance, and yet again we struggled to get a team but come KO we'd got a pretty decent 11. We're playing Perfidious (again, third time and we've still got one more game against them this season in the league!) the team we'd bum rushed 6-0 a couple of weeks earlier.
So we line up with Smithy in goals, a makeshift back four of Jeff and James (who'd dropped out of another team to play for us) as full backs, with Gibbsy (skipper for the day) and debutant Liam at centre back. Three in midfield of Jesse, Iain (to watch their best player) and Simon (who was liable to collapse at any minute due to post-marathon fatigue, 3hrs 50 tidy) then Ballsy in the whole with Paul and Micah up front.
It's windy, cold and we're going to get a load of that really wetting rain that makes things miserable. And I'm in goals. Great. From what I can remember it was reasonably even stevens, nothing much contributed to the history of the beautiful game. I was relatively untroubled in goal, we had the odd scary moment but nothing too hairy. Then halfway through the first half Micah latches on to through ball, and his now customary way powered his way past the defender to slot home. 1-0. Things are looking good - the way we scored it seemed inevitable we'd get more.
However, the inevitability of regular Alliance fc uk ups haunted us again. I was just delighted it wasnt me with a ball high and handsome sailing into the back of the net. It was skipper for the day, Mr Julian Gibbs. A ball over the top and Gibbsy controlled nicely into the path of their German striker (who makes he's a nice bloke but it a massive tw at in my book) with Edgar Davids glasses on who slotted it past the on rushing Smithy. 1-1. Buggar. To be fair, I've made far worse errors in the past! Perfidious perked up after this and it looked like the tide would change - they have a few corners but we scrambled them away. I had a dubious bit of handling which lead to a corner but we weathered the storm. We were also starting to pose a threat again - Ballsy weaving his way around their defence, Jesse with some quick feet, Iain keeping tabs on their play maker and Simon just happy to be standing with his knees and feet pointing in the same direction. Forza Alliance.
Then I got the ball from a shot or over hit pass, or corner so I thought I'd be clever and throw out quickly to Jeff (nb inevitability of a Alliance fc uk up regularity). I nearl undercooked it but luckily Jeff got their first, and passed to Jesse who I think passed to Iain, who neatly slotted in Micah who was free to go on and score his second just before the break. What nearly was a big mess up turned out to be a beautiful thing. Success and failure, closer bed fellows than you might think (or perhaps not as people generally agree that there isnt much between success and failure, and if you want to get all philosophical about it, it depends what you judge as success and failure, whos success is it and why are they pedalling it, those dirty bastards in the media...). Anyway, 2-0. half time. I should mention John Hall failed to turn up again and their organiser had to ref and did a brilliant job.
So in the second half, after having agreed that we're not that great at killing games off, we went on to make hard work of killing the game off. Micah had a shot that was palmed round the post which denied him his hatrick, I think someone may have missed a header and Pete (who came for the second half and had a 20 minute cameo in place of Simon who had steam coming out of his boots by this time) had a chance towards the end but we were still hanging on as Perfidious (a different team from the one that lost 6-0, not nececcarily in personnel but in attitude) came at us for the equaliser.
Jeff, Gibbsy, Liam and James were doing a sterling job to keep them out as they applied the pressure late on. The goal as protected by Gibbsy who more than made up for his first half error with a heroic performance as skipper, he was here there and everywhere to make the last gap challenges where necessary. Liam was also proving to be a sturdy acquisition in the heart of the defence. And Jeff, who occassionally purged his natural attacking desires, did excellently at left back chasing back, winning the tackles as well as starting some of our attacking moves (and I dont even think he had a go at any of our own players this week) so with that in mind Jeff takes MOM this week.
2-0. Our first 3 points in the league since December and only the second team we've beaten in the league this season, as our only other league wins have been against the same team.
Over and out except for this - which I saw as an advert at the cinema and it's really good:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TfcYMO-9qbM (generally im not in favour of supporting corporate brands who probably employ 5 year old chinese boys to mould the glass of the bottles but this is a pretty good advert so it's probably ok)
So we line up with Smithy in goals, a makeshift back four of Jeff and James (who'd dropped out of another team to play for us) as full backs, with Gibbsy (skipper for the day) and debutant Liam at centre back. Three in midfield of Jesse, Iain (to watch their best player) and Simon (who was liable to collapse at any minute due to post-marathon fatigue, 3hrs 50 tidy) then Ballsy in the whole with Paul and Micah up front.
It's windy, cold and we're going to get a load of that really wetting rain that makes things miserable. And I'm in goals. Great. From what I can remember it was reasonably even stevens, nothing much contributed to the history of the beautiful game. I was relatively untroubled in goal, we had the odd scary moment but nothing too hairy. Then halfway through the first half Micah latches on to through ball, and his now customary way powered his way past the defender to slot home. 1-0. Things are looking good - the way we scored it seemed inevitable we'd get more.
However, the inevitability of regular Alliance fc uk ups haunted us again. I was just delighted it wasnt me with a ball high and handsome sailing into the back of the net. It was skipper for the day, Mr Julian Gibbs. A ball over the top and Gibbsy controlled nicely into the path of their German striker (who makes he's a nice bloke but it a massive tw at in my book) with Edgar Davids glasses on who slotted it past the on rushing Smithy. 1-1. Buggar. To be fair, I've made far worse errors in the past! Perfidious perked up after this and it looked like the tide would change - they have a few corners but we scrambled them away. I had a dubious bit of handling which lead to a corner but we weathered the storm. We were also starting to pose a threat again - Ballsy weaving his way around their defence, Jesse with some quick feet, Iain keeping tabs on their play maker and Simon just happy to be standing with his knees and feet pointing in the same direction. Forza Alliance.
Then I got the ball from a shot or over hit pass, or corner so I thought I'd be clever and throw out quickly to Jeff (nb inevitability of a Alliance fc uk up regularity). I nearl undercooked it but luckily Jeff got their first, and passed to Jesse who I think passed to Iain, who neatly slotted in Micah who was free to go on and score his second just before the break. What nearly was a big mess up turned out to be a beautiful thing. Success and failure, closer bed fellows than you might think (or perhaps not as people generally agree that there isnt much between success and failure, and if you want to get all philosophical about it, it depends what you judge as success and failure, whos success is it and why are they pedalling it, those dirty bastards in the media...). Anyway, 2-0. half time. I should mention John Hall failed to turn up again and their organiser had to ref and did a brilliant job.
So in the second half, after having agreed that we're not that great at killing games off, we went on to make hard work of killing the game off. Micah had a shot that was palmed round the post which denied him his hatrick, I think someone may have missed a header and Pete (who came for the second half and had a 20 minute cameo in place of Simon who had steam coming out of his boots by this time) had a chance towards the end but we were still hanging on as Perfidious (a different team from the one that lost 6-0, not nececcarily in personnel but in attitude) came at us for the equaliser.
Jeff, Gibbsy, Liam and James were doing a sterling job to keep them out as they applied the pressure late on. The goal as protected by Gibbsy who more than made up for his first half error with a heroic performance as skipper, he was here there and everywhere to make the last gap challenges where necessary. Liam was also proving to be a sturdy acquisition in the heart of the defence. And Jeff, who occassionally purged his natural attacking desires, did excellently at left back chasing back, winning the tackles as well as starting some of our attacking moves (and I dont even think he had a go at any of our own players this week) so with that in mind Jeff takes MOM this week.
2-0. Our first 3 points in the league since December and only the second team we've beaten in the league this season, as our only other league wins have been against the same team.
Over and out except for this - which I saw as an advert at the cinema and it's really good:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TfcYMO-9qbM (generally im not in favour of supporting corporate brands who probably employ 5 year old chinese boys to mould the glass of the bottles but this is a pretty good advert so it's probably ok)
Sunday 2nd March - vs FC National at Kennington
The games are coming thick and fast as we head into the fixture congestion nightmare that is the Alliance's March and April calendar season 6. We're bottom of the league and we're playing FC National who beat us the other week and really shouldnt have. So we due to put that right.
Another makeshift team - with a host of people helping us out to get us 11, or 12, or 13, or even 14 by the time of the KO.
Mickey is reffing as John Hall has dropped out on the day with flu. Neg.
So we line up (I think) with Eddie in goal, me, Colin G and Dai at the back (see first half - on how to defend in an organised manner by the Northern Alliance), with 5 across midfield including Woody and Matt Balls, courtesy of Paul, Iain, Jeff and Steve, with Paul and Micah up front. Plus Colin S, Reza and Tommy on the bench.
In the first half we played some really good stuff, composed at the back with Colin G marshalling me and Dai well. This gave me quite a lot of space and time to exploit as we pushed for a goal. Some great inter-linking play and some stout defending meant we could play high up the pitch. It's a week ago since we played so really the only moment I can remember was the one involving me! Coming from defence, reading the play well and intercepting an FC National pass I stole through as the game opened up for me. And rather than passing, I took a shot from over 20 yards out and was narrowly foiled by the far upright with the keeper beaten. It was a matter of inches. I tend to find it always is. We deserved to be a goal up after our first half - we were the dominant side playing the best football and they had sat back and soaked it all up.
Bouyed by the first half performance, we kept the 3-5-2 formation as it seemed to be working but in pursuit of victory, we lost our shape, and with FC National frustratingly defending well, gaps started appearing at the back. The organisation and confidence of the first half had disappeared in the second, and with two smart breaks down the right FC National sucker punched us with a couple of neat break aways. 2-0 and there's no way back. Mickey did an excellent job of refereeing despite getting quite a bit of stick from both teams.
A short match report as I cant remember much of it - I do remember Dai playing well though, so he gets the MOM award this week.
Until next time.
Another makeshift team - with a host of people helping us out to get us 11, or 12, or 13, or even 14 by the time of the KO.
Mickey is reffing as John Hall has dropped out on the day with flu. Neg.
So we line up (I think) with Eddie in goal, me, Colin G and Dai at the back (see first half - on how to defend in an organised manner by the Northern Alliance), with 5 across midfield including Woody and Matt Balls, courtesy of Paul, Iain, Jeff and Steve, with Paul and Micah up front. Plus Colin S, Reza and Tommy on the bench.
In the first half we played some really good stuff, composed at the back with Colin G marshalling me and Dai well. This gave me quite a lot of space and time to exploit as we pushed for a goal. Some great inter-linking play and some stout defending meant we could play high up the pitch. It's a week ago since we played so really the only moment I can remember was the one involving me! Coming from defence, reading the play well and intercepting an FC National pass I stole through as the game opened up for me. And rather than passing, I took a shot from over 20 yards out and was narrowly foiled by the far upright with the keeper beaten. It was a matter of inches. I tend to find it always is. We deserved to be a goal up after our first half - we were the dominant side playing the best football and they had sat back and soaked it all up.
Bouyed by the first half performance, we kept the 3-5-2 formation as it seemed to be working but in pursuit of victory, we lost our shape, and with FC National frustratingly defending well, gaps started appearing at the back. The organisation and confidence of the first half had disappeared in the second, and with two smart breaks down the right FC National sucker punched us with a couple of neat break aways. 2-0 and there's no way back. Mickey did an excellent job of refereeing despite getting quite a bit of stick from both teams.
A short match report as I cant remember much of it - I do remember Dai playing well though, so he gets the MOM award this week.
Until next time.
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