Sunday 27 September vs GPR (c) 5-5

A job half done by Bernie Smith of the Northern Alliance.

It wasnt until I was putting my arm in the soggy sleeves of the new Alliance kit (to turn them inside out ready for washing, 30 degrees wash, make sure you have a full load) this evening that I realised that if Tony Adams had given us a lesson in the art of defending we might all be sitting at our desks on Monday morning celebrating our first cup win of the season.

Unfortunately, he was handing top tips (no doubt in an excruciatingly slow manner) to a load of 10 year olds instead. Jeff still managed to get his photo with him though. Well done you Jeff.

In the hot sun of a late September Sunday evening we kicked off with high hopes of success in the cup. And it came, in bucket loads, but like Jeff on his gravy strokes, conkers deep in some doris treacle while dreaming of Tony, it could possibly be argued they came too early. Sorry love, is that the curtain?

First of all GPR helped us out with a nice little own goal with the ball eventually bouncing over their keeper following a failed clearance. Second came shortly after, with Andy W (not to be confused with Woody) capping a fine display of central midfieldmanship with a left footed strike after going past a couple of their defenders. And as he has a habit of doing Guy popped up with a fantastic strike, following a poor goal kick, to make it 3-0 probably with about 10 minutes or so in the first half. Smithy's already writing the headlines for the morning papers 'a new power rising' and all that sort of thing, but being steadily kept in check by Ketch at the back so that I didnt go forward too much. I was encouraged by Ross on the wing who was making head way with Gibbsy, Coylely and Crouchy down the right.

But I was thinking too soon, and a ball over the top leads to a relatively avoidable goal for GPR. I say relatively avoidable on the basis that in the second half there was some clearly avoidable goals conceded by the sometimes mighty Alliance.

So 3-1 at half time, we're coasting and that was the problem. It was decided that the next goal was crucial. We got that all crucial goal - so we all thought 'oh well we've got the all crucial goal, let's relax and let them come right back into the game'. Ross scored it from the opposite side from Stevie G's lob-cum-shot against Hull on Saturday in a similar manner. Great stuff 4-1, let's make some subs, give Coyley's ankle a rest and start thinking about the league campaign.

But before you could say 'is it a 2pm KO at Market Road on Saturday 3rd of October - and if you want to play you should probably email Bernie quick smart Monday morning' we'd found ourselves running towards our own goal thrice in succession to concede some rather disappointing and definitely avoidable goals to bring the score to 4-4. Absolute negarama fellas! Either at 4-2 or 4-3 Bernie went off for the newly wedded Mr Pete Stupple, and Guy was replaced by Mr Jeffrey Romeo.

So we're 4-4 and there's a decent chunk of the second half remaining. Guy strokes a lovely pass through to Coyley who opens his account for the season with a deftly placed daisy chaser that creeps in the goal. 5-4 and we've definitely won it now. They cant possibly...oh yes they can and another goal goes in at the other end. We're not playing like we were and they've changed formation and capitalised. They also hit the bar at one stage I think and Micah pulled off a great save to keep us in it. We had a few guilt edged opportunities at the other end but nothing as clear cut as earlier in the game.

So there you have it, we were masterful, creative team players in the first half reduced to a reasonably futile mess by the end. We threw away a game that 5 years ago would have been a fantastic achievement to draw 5-5 with GPR. Now we're gutted when we should have taken a team to the cleaners and back again, but next time we wont sit there and wait for their clothes to tumble dry. Sh it, poorly executed analogies. Magic.

So to sum up, we looked dangerous in front of goal but we were exposed at the back by the high ball and wayward clearances. Man of the match goes to new boy Andy W closely followed by t'other new boy Ross and soon to be stalwart, Tim.

Let's put it right next week boys.

Let's do the time warp again.

BS