Feb 24th vs Perfidious Albion in the cup

So the question you all need an answer to this week boys is 'were the Alliance up for the cup?'

Or, more practically, were we going to win by 3 clear goals and therefore create another game for ourselves (and the admin and expense that goes with it, sigh) or make a dog's c ock of it all and have the same number of games to play as we always had? Read on to find out, or do something more useful with your respective lives, it's your choice after all...

So we line up for the cup with another new look 11 to play Perfidious who new or old look had only managed to muster up 8 as it came to KO time. Suddenly there was some belief we might actually win by 3 clear goals (nb it's a champion's league style cup format this season, we were on the same points as the Jokers with inferior goal difference).

An Eddie in goal, followed by an unlikely menage et tois (I just googled to double check the spelling and found a website that explains if you say menage et tw at this distinguishes between two girls and one guy versus two guys and one girl – it also gave me the French translations for ‘shut up’ and ‘gingers’, plus a whole new meaning to the breakfast sandwich - http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=menage+et+tois but that's a tangent I can save for my own fantasies I think, of Dai, Mickey and yours truly (I havent changed my name in case you were wondering), with five in midfield of Colin and Pete on the wings, with Dan, Jesse and Steve in the midfield with Jeffrey and Paul providing the fire power. We also had Mr and Mrs Coyle in the stands hoping to see their young starlet win through for the Alliance. We racked up 11 vs 8, it was never going to be a classic. Three new players hadnt turned up at this point.

We started well, cutting through their wholy midfield, at times with too much time on our hands our relaxed approach didnt help matters, to cultivate for Jeff, and particularly Paul, to squander in front of the aforementioned old dears. We won a corner, and with a looping well won headed Jesse scores. 1-0. If you need to win 3-0. 1-0 I tend to find is always a good start. Despite this we were making heavy weather of their 8, which grew to 9, 10 then eventually 11. At some point during this period Jeff stole in and put one past the keeper before getting taken out. Brave stuff. We’d got pulled back for a few off sides and Paul was doing his best to score and fluffing it. At some point in the first half Kojo, Tommy and Reza turned up – all contacts through Colin G who is called on to play occasionally for the Alliance or provide new players! Mickey has done his bit, so we gave Kojo his debut at centre back as we switched to a four four two for the remainder of the first half.

Half time. 2-0. We’re not playing great but appear to be winning. We have a chat. Decide Colin S is washed out from a night of excess and bring in Tommy at right back with Reza waiting in the wings in case we need extra fire power. We need another but need to make sure we don’t concede. Admittedly, this is the position we find ourselves in every week, I’m only stating the obvious for extra dramatic effect. The tension builds.

2nd half – Tommy’s first touch in an Alliance shirt is to touch the ball one way, and run round the other way of opposition player to pick up the ball and lay it off. All done very tightly by the touch line. Dai – please can you forward Tommy a copy of your autobiography ‘Well out Dai – a year and some with the Northern Alliance’ for his future reference?

And then the deciding moment – of course it involved me reading the game exquisitely, intervening a Perfidious pass, carrying it forward before unleashing a visionary through ball the like of which is rarely seen at this level of nonsense, putting it quite frankly on a plate for Paul to finish sharply in front of his folks. 3-0.

Still a bit nervous about conceding we stayed 4-4-2 but it wasn’t long before 4 and 5 came. Paul scored the fourth – I think although I’m losing track now – and then should have scored the fifth (and taken the match ball, but only til the next game) but after several ricochets with the goal keeper, Reza who had been brought on for Pete, with Jeff switching to left midfield, stole in for a debut goal. Steve got head butted leaving him with a black eye, and the other player with a head wound that required a visit to hospital (on the plus side, he's got a date on Tuesday, he can scream 'Adrianne!!!' at the top of his voice like Rocky Balboa, falling to his knees in the restaurant if things arent going well. And then having to regain his composure after she'd only gone to the toilet, and pointing out that in anycase she's called Dave) I think this was about 4-0. Dai ran off the pitch to get Mickey a lighter, I remember that much. It was that type of game. Mostly at a stroll, and they were easily cut out when they did try to attack despite our reasonably laid back attitude towards defence in the second half. The sixth was scored again with consummate ease and we still had 5 minutes left. I think Dan got it. Shout up if it wasnt Dan as I cant remember and no one is replying to my text asking if they know. Dai has come up with 'was it Dan?' so that's all I've got so far.

So the answer to the question is yes and yes, we’re up for the cup, we’ve got another game I’ll have to organize and we’ll probably get a roasting from a first division side on a rainy Thursday in March. Now I wonder what interesting things that website can throw up about roasting….