Sunday 20th Jan: The Jokers in Big Cup at Market Road

I feel under pressure this week. I feel like I have an active readership but less content rich. Not being in goal means I was engaged in the Alliance fight as opposed to drifting off into the realm of fantasy my readership has come to know and well, come to know. Taking on board the comments from last week (although I note there's been only one post so far from Henry's old dear) I've made my lastest report slightly more succinct.

Right, where are we then? It's Sunday 20th Jan 2008. Yes 2008. Hello world! We're in the cup, a round robin, Champion's League style affair against The Jokers. We'd lost the first cup game, despite another good account of ourselves against Dynamo Camford, before Xmas. Lose this one and we'd only have to play 21 games this season - win and well, we've got a chance of being in the hat for the last...well however many. It's Market Road, dark, wet and windy. You probably wudnt.

We line up with Eddie in goal, a Smith at right back, Col, Gibbsy and Dai making up the back five with Dan and Crouchy in the centre of midfield. New Dad on the left, Steve on the right with Micah and 'Keegan, Keegan, Keegan' up front. Opposition The Jokers. Are you having a laugh? Not half.

We've got the wind and our manager, Mickey Love, as our ref. Surely we had to get the rub of the green? Now the wind definitely helped, no doubt about it but we are the Northern Alliance. Get down. And we so did. Up and down, left and right - passing to each other, working for each other. Something beautiful is happening at the moment - it's football with rocks in it.

The Jokers had their chances, we had a few scares as always but we remained composed (which doesnt always happen) and they scored. But it was offside. Phew! And then it happened (this James Blunt magic that is flowing through our hearts and minds at the moment). Goal. 1-0 to us. Now if you dont shoot you dont score - Micah had a few sighters including an overhead kick and the knees holding firm. This is where - again I'm a bit lose on detail - think Jeff, Paul and Simon may have been involved - I'm hazy. It was a good move, in the pocket. BANG. Another proper football goal.

Bloody hell, 5 paragraphs in and I've described one goal. We play some other great stuff - Jeff, Paul, Micah, Simon and Dan interchanging. Steve, working hard, intercepting and laying off to Smithy at full back who had the winger in the bag and was carrying the charge from defence to attack. Half time. Mickey's quietly gone about his business reffing possibly the cleanest game we've ever played in. (Nb Hudson take note)

Second half - we are the Northern Alliance. Get down. Like the Taliban, we were ready for war. Gibbsy applied the face paint to Dai and prepared for a battle. Didnt start that well, the paint hadnt dried before they put one in the net. 1-1. We dithered in defence possibly from a corner and a sharp finish put them back in the game. With the wind behind them it could have been down hill from here on in.

It was all one way traffic - corners, through balls, trickery. But did The Jokers bring the house down on the Alliance's resolve? Who was to have the last laugh? (It was a choice between 'last laugh' or something about punch lines)

The Jokers started leaving gaps, as Eddie saved well a number of times in the second half, the Alliance rose again. We started to get the rub in the tackle, and either Dan or Crouchy would carry it away to slot in Micah or Paul, or more often than not New Dad, who was ploughing a rather successful furrow down the left. It usually went Dan/Crouchy - crunch, carry away, Jeff, Paul, Micah, Paul, Simon, Jeff, Dave - interchanging like dervishes often leading to a genuine chance. Micah and Paul, often bullying their way to the front. Which I thought was rather unfair as they were such nice boys those Jokers. Another great interchange - you get the picture see three sentences above - and the ball finds its way to Paul on the right. He shoots (on target according to Paul), it deflects, it goes in. Something else that doesnt usually happen. Good passing karma I call it.

2-1. It's still tight and we've got 15 minutes to see out. But it could have been another half an hour as we broke again. Iain on for Steve, before he's even broked sweat he put on an inch perfect ball through to Smithy, bombing on from full back after beginning the move, to put across the face of goal but alas no one on the end but it was a great move. But something was coming...

By this time Iain has probably broken sweat but he's put through none the less, finishing with a plomb after another good move (good move is becoming synonymous with 'i can really remember but I do remember he took it well'). 3-1 and they are dead and buried. The refs getting a bit over zealous on the yards I'm stealing from the throw ins and Darty is chasing after a rizla paper on the touch line - jumping like a panzy in delight as he went - but the whistle goes and we've won in Big Cup. A win against Perfidious Albion and we have a chance of keeping the Alliance Big Cup dream alive and break the 21 game barrier!

MOM: I'm going for New Dad - kept running all day, used the ball well and knew when to carry it, and pipped anyone else by chasing back right into our corner flag, winning the ball, playing it to Colin, then receiving the ball back and breaking down the left. Chasing lost causes wins MOM awards. Remember that boys.

Quite, quite beautiful...Gibbsy and Mickey are in talks about an Alliance Big Cup Pop Single: Football with Rocks in it.

Toorah!